How friendly do you really need to be with colleagues outside of work?

[ADHDMumHere]

I get along well with my coworkers, but I don’t usually socialize much after work. Recently, there’s been pressure to join after-work drinks and weekend trips. Is it normal for colleagues to take it personally if you prefer to keep your downtime?

you do what you want to do. I don't socialise with my colleagues outside work they already get 8 hours of my day the rest of my time is for family and chosen friends :) I get invites for works things all the time but I decline them, nicely> they know now but still invite me just in case but not pressured to join

I’m not friendly with colleagues at all, never have, never will be. They are just people at work.

When I leave a job, I never see or talk to them again.

I’d rather die than go in a weekend trip with my colleagues and I like my colleagues!

I’ve worked at places where I’ve been told I HAVE to socialise outside of work and attend drinks etc. Ridiculous.

I definitely wouldn’t go on weekend trips!

Occasionally go for lunches or non-drinking after work social events (e-darts seems to be popular in our organisation), but not that often. Generally just when the entire team is in the same location, which doesn’t happen that much.

Weekends away?? Not a hope in hell!

There are a small number of people I'm still in touch with from my first job (well, I'm married to one of them!), a couple I message from my last job.
If/ when I leave here, I can't see me keeping in touch with any of this lot.

It's not 'necessary' at all! But you know that. Who exactly is pressuring you to go on weekends away with colleagues.

Some of my closest friends are people I met in previous jobs, but that was because they were kindred spirits I was delighted to spend leisure time with, not just because we happened to work together.

I’m friendly but not friends for the most part - have a couple actual friends I made through work but we don’t work for each other or even in the same department. I don’t like mixing my different worlds to be honest.

Hello no! I like my colleagues, I have a great team, but beyond the very occasional lunch or after work dinner to celebrate an event I don't ever see them outside of work. Everyone's different though - but don't feel you have to bow to pressure if you don't want to.

I avoid it like the plague. Years of experience have taught me to keep things professional and not get too involved on a personal level. The odd night out is fine but to be honest I probably spend as much time with work colleagues as I do with my family so I see quite enough of them already!

I socialise with a small select number of people, some still work for us and others have moved elsewhere but we meet up a couple of times a year. I guess when we were younger we did things like went on each other's hen do and trips like that but I wouldn't want to be doing these things with an entire team or larger group that I don't know so well. I haven't been to an organised office social event for a couple of years or more. I think the younger grads socialise together more but then they're newer to the city and company, a lot of them live in flatshares with strangers so trying to find their feet and make friends.

This !!!
i left the what’s app work chat as I like to keep the two separate
Also , loads of old colleagues are on there who I have never met !!
That said , I message some individually and occasionally go out eg cinema

Surely this time would be paid back in lieu if compulsory / networking

Valid point !
Especially with drinks involved , tongues are looser etc . I’d defo let rip 😩🤣

Some people like the people they work with. Some don't. Some have more responsibilities than others outside of work. Some have more fiends out of work. Some are more outgoing than others while others enjoy downtime. It's all normal but we are all different. Do what you want to do!

You can be friendly with colleagues without being friends.