starting a new job - advice please - self-esteem in tatters

[mechanicalpencil]

I'll be starting a new job soon but feeling anxious about making a good impression.

I have come from a job which was incredibly toxic and I had a bully of a line manager. The result was my self-esteem was left in tatters and at times I feel a shadow of my former self.

Any advice that you have, no matter how small, will help me have something to hold onto on my first day.

thank you

When I started my new job 18 months ago, a few bad things happened pretty much straight away which bashed all the confidence out of me. I have social anxiety, too, so that just compounded everything. (That said, it’s a really good, professional place where you’re treated well.)

The best advice I can give is try to talk to everyone (not on your first day lols) even if it’s just hello, how are you, where do you live, etc. Pretty soon, you’ll get a feel for the people you feel comfortable around, who will help you or become friends.

In terms of the job itself, if it turns out the place and people are shite, get yourself out of there as quickly as you can. There’s nothing like a crappy job to grind the last ounce of happiness and confidence out of you.

Good luck x

Just be super friendly. Ask questions and try to engage. If you have spare time then offer your help to others.

I know it’s hard starting a new job and even more so when self esteem is in tatters. But I’m sure you’ll absolutely rock it!

Ask lots of questions and really listen to the answers to be sure you get things right first time. Be interested and alert and try to understand why you're doing a task, not just how to do it.

Take it a day at a time and each evening write yourself a little note of something that went well - smiled at someone, nice little chat in the kitchen, someone welcomed me to the team, someone thanked me for something… let those build up for a few days and hopefully you’ll start to feel positive. Be kind to yourself x

thanks for the suggestions, I will definitely try them out. Anxiety seems to have escalated as I have got older so it's easy to get things out of proportion.

Really like the idea of the little notes each evening @Aboutmeabouttime. I find if I've had a bad day, I tend to dwell on that and it eclipses any of the nice things that may have happened so this will help me keep a more balanced outlook.

Have self-compassion. Look for free support such as Maximus Access to Work Wellbeing & Mental Health Support Service