Time off for partner's medical appointments?

[HettyMeg]

I manage someone who is asking for time off to accompany their partner to medical appointments - not antenatal. Has anyone any experience of this? Our company doesn't have any policy relating to time off for medical appointments. I have always managed my own by working around it - ie making up the time later - as have colleagues. Bit worried this could become an issue if they start asking for more time and it's not even their own appointment.

When I was going through my cancer treatments I was genuinely too weak to go by myself I also really needed him there to listen properly as information was very hard to take in

I would ask why they need accompanying as it isn't usual practice , however good will in any company goes a long way and I would definitely give it

My point is this person is asking IN ADVANCE and hasn't given their employer any indication it is an emergency.... so annual leave or unpaid it is.

ETA: I went through 8 months of cancer treatment appointments with my mother who couldn't physically get there or back on her own, and couldn't be left unattended in a room for quite a few hours after each appointment. Sometimes it was 3 days a week, sometimes it was 7. I informed my employer of this with as much notice as possible and of the nature of the sickness etc. I took 3 weeks annual leave, 5 months of unpaid leave and my brother had to take some annual leave also. So yes, I understand how appointments work... but it's not my employers duty to pay me to not go to work.

It's not really a surprise though, is it? It's an employers market at the moment.
They can treat people like disposable commodities.

I have a lot of appointments for my daughter - she has regular dermatology appointments and is under mental health at CAHMS. Planning meetings, extra meetings with the school etc etc. If I can make up the time, I do. If not I use annual leave and consider myself super lucky to have an understanding boss who doesn’t make this difficult. It wouldn’t occur to me to ask work to pay me to do all this.

Making up time is a great arrangement if that works

i would feel entitled to ask more about the nature of the appointments and what the longer term issues might be for the employee. Since it is affecting work and I would know I would need information so I could treat all employees fairly

But that’s my point - sometimes it is your employer’s duty to pay you not to go to work. Not in the long term necessarily, but an appointment to support a dependant may well be appropriate (we don’t have enough info to know if it’s an emergency, or a one off). I’m glad for you that your employer at least kept your job open for you, that’s all part of the same ethos.

I manage a large team so have come across this. If your company has no policy around this specifically, can things like your company’s carer’s leave policy be applicable? Some are more wide ranging. If not, then it’s down to your discretion whether you insist on them using AL or allow them to make up the hours. My advice would be to allow discretion if it’s possible (staff tend to pay you back in kind) but NOT if you can’t manage it as an informal policy across your whole team. Where this goes wrong is where you allow it for one (often with good intentions) but then don’t for others as it becomes impossible to manage at scale. That can backfire into resentment and grievances.

That doesn’t mean that any partner who wants to be accompanied to hospital appointments is automatically dependent though.

If this employee wants their partner to be classed as dependent then they need to explain why, and their partner needs to actually depend on them for basic care.

I would probably allow unpaid leave but not paid.

That's a nasty response. I have cancer, I go to a lot of my appointments and treatments alone, but sometimes I do need my partner to accompany me.
There's no medals for being brave and no workplace is more important than your health or welfare. You have no idea what others are going through.

What's pretty clear from all these responses is that to be fair in how you handle this across your team or company, you'll need more info from the person asking. It is not unreasonable to ask questions if someone wants flexibility that isn't legally guaranteed and hasn't previously been offered.

It means that if they need help, their partner is a suitable person to depend on. No-one needs to be classed as dependent, it’s fact specific. If I’m on crutches I’m depending on a member of my household for transport. But I’m not financially dependent on them.

I think the problem here is that the OP’s workplace has no policy on this - so neither they nor the employee know what information needs to be provided.

In my area of NHS I would be allowed the time off for this but, unless I was their carer, I would need to work flexibly to make up the time or take annual leave.
The issue would be if my manager allowed it for one person she’d need to allow it for everyone and that could run into hefty bills for employing bank staff to cover.
However for someone who is a designated carer for a family member that would be different and they would generally get the time off

I’m surprised how harsh responses are.

I’d allow one appointment and then pursue for clarification if they ask for more and a solution moving forwards. There is no easy answer. Appointments are nightmare to get and you have no idea what it is for. It could be anything. It could be nothing. I’d expect a reasonable employee to make up the time or volunteer to make up the time. I’d expect an hourly paid worker to not be paid those hours.

I’d expect it to be a few hours not all day too.

A few hours? You must have missed the memo about the state the NHS is in. And patients dont all have hospitals just round the corner

It’s a bit unfair to take two words out of my whole post and misquote them out of context.

If you are taking your mum to get a cancer diagnosis or an Alzheimer’s diagnosis I wouldn’t expect you back at work. But if you are taking the to the fracture clinic it’s not unreasonable to expect you back.

I’ve been to a couple of appointments recently for an MRI and they have been super quick as they seem to be much more efficient. No time to waste. This is my experience and my opinion.

I’m recovering from a transplant. I’m not allowed to drive and there is no feasible public transport or volunteer patient transport scheme. I’m required to attend the hospital twice a week for the next three months. I’m fairly Independent, but I honestly can’t manage this without a family member supporting me.

So has your family member been grated paid time off to accompany you twice a week for three months?
I am of course entirely sympathetic to your situation and wish you all the best, but businesses can't be expected to grant such paid leave.

I supported my husband during transplant recovery. It was a full time job for about 3 weeks, then dropped down to just one or two appointments a week.

My employer didn’t bat an eye, fully paid throughout. As it should be.

🤣🤣🤣

Wow.

She’s been able to work from home, and to make up time. They’ve been amazingly supportive and we are very grateful. But it’s a lot to ask of an employer.

In my work I would have to take as annual leave or make the time up (am hybrid office/WFH so can be flexible). When I’ve had to take DC to appointments I just work around it

I think you need to be compassionate and say no worries, can you make the time up later and let me know if you need to take compassionate leave.

I take my husband to have eye treatment and he is not allowed to drive or use public transport after, so I just take holiday for this. They are every 4 to 8 weeks and have been for the last ten years. I also manage more than one person whose spouse/ partner has similar issues so they do the same or get a relative to take them.