Unsupportive/unfair manager

[Wanderingparrott]

Basically had enough of my manager who treats me different to others in work who are her ‘friends’. Very unsupportive and when faced with emergency situations I.e young child poorly, she makes life very difficult for me if I’m off work. I’m not allowed to WTF in emergency situations but others who do the same job as me are! Been looking for a new job but unfortunately have been unsuccessful. If I go on the sick I’m worried it will ruin my chances of securing a new job role as it would be classed as long term sick. Sorry to ramble but my MH is at an all time low and is suffering through that workplace for many reasons and unsure of what to do next. I’m a single mother with no other financial support so leaving the job without having another to go to isn’t really an option.

If you genuinely think that this manager is singling you out because they don’t like you, then put a grievance in. You need proof and remove emotion out of it. It needs to be clearly displayed how the manager treats you differently to others.

She doesn’t like me thats for certain. I feel putting a grievance in would make things 10 times worse. I feel it’s a no win situation and it’s already a toxic environment to work in.

You must look for a new job. Things won't change unless you report it. I do know what you mean as I was terrified to report my bullying manager for 4.5 years. She was only reported to our director when the new HR person overheard her screaming at me and put the complaint in above me.

Don't be me.

How many emergencies have you had? Are they noticing a pattern? If you think they're being unfair then you are entitled to take a grievance but not every role or every staff member is able to wfh.

Keep contemporaneous notes of all conversations
keep a note of things you ask for and the result, and keep notes of what other people ask for and the result.

Have a good think about if it really is unfair, or if that is your perception

Go to your union with the info

I would put in a grievance rather than ‘going on the sick’ when despite the stress, you are capable of working. Sick leave isn’t just there to be an option for anyone who finds their job stressful.

It sounds like you will have evidence of your managers unfair treatment, so use it.

Gov.uk says you are allowed time off. You should not be penalised for taking this time off. Rather than formal grievance check company policy for informal grievance option.

https://www.gov.uk/time-off-for-dependants

I have been given emergency parent leave and that’s through gritted teeth but she lets others WFH to avoid it going down on their record when their kids are sick and can’t attend school. Unfortunately my child has been absent from school a few times over the last few months but in the summer no absences at all. There’s many other things that have gone on aside from this issue but I think this has just been the final straw. I do have plenty of evidence of things that have happened so I may seek advice from HR next week.