Is it normal to hate work after having kids?

[Dbd310]

I really hate my job. I am so fortunate to have it though. I worked so hard to get where I am and it was something I loved doing and was proud of. If youd have told 18 yo me this is what she would be doing she would hardly believe you.

I have a good employer. I earn well. There is flexibility (but the work piles up if I am off for DC being sick etc). But i just hate it. Its exhausting and I am miserable. I think probably because of a mixture of things: a lack of support, unachievable targets, traumatic content of the work, performance management policies which make me anxious Ive dropped the ball ( even though i know I most definitely havent. I am good at my job).

I think I need to leave but i have no idea what else I would do and it would almost certainly involve a pay cut.

Is anyone else in the same position? What are you or did you do?

If you stuck it out and stayed do you have any tips for suckung it up?

I think it's normal to have a shift in priorities after you have kids. Suddenly work doesn't seem like the be all and end all any more. However, it doesn't last forever (or at least it didn't for me) and there may come a time in future when your job brings you fulfillment again. If you used to love it I'd be wary of ditching it. Could you go part time? That was a great compromise for me when my DC were younger.

Thanks foe your reply! Wise words I think

I am already part time! My son is 3yo now.

I think.you are right about the fulfilment. I hadnt thought of it that way.

When did your fulfilment come back?

I think it's about your priorities shifting - suddenly you aren't only thinking about yourself, you need to get home at 6 rather than staying on to get something finished or hanging out with friendly colleagues after work. Rather than something that fills your time and occupies your mind, work becomes a drag that takes up too much of your time and attention.

It does get better once the kids get older and are more independent - you start to get yourself back a bit IYSWIM.

I think your priorities obviously change ,but I enjoyed getting to feel a bit like my old self when back in the office and having a mooch round the shops at lunch time

Yes so much of this! Add in my job being really stressful, pressure to get stuff done in my hours and traumatic content and its making me so unhappy and anxious.

I did think by now it would be better but i guess 3 is still so young. Maybe i just need to stick it out.