Toxic boss- dreading Monday work return

[Kilofoxtrot99]

It’s Sunday morning and I’m already dreading the return to work tomorrow. New boss and the last six months have been challenging. They are not going to change and it’s incredibly difficult to evidence the behaviours. Anyone else having the Sunday dread ahead of Monday?

A new manager has spoilt our once happy, relaxed but incredibly productive workplace. If we stood up to them as a group then we could do something about them but a minority would rather moan.

Is moving jobs a possibility? I'm staying put because of the hybrid working and pension. So I've started going for a walk before work on my wfh days. When in the office, I just take a deep breath and remind myself I've got a decent salary and am not clearing sewers or working for Temu.

Thank you- we have the same situation here although I am currently taking the brunt of most of the stress. Other colleagues have noticed it and offered to support which is in progress. Just so unnecessary and pointless. 3 years off retirement so not planning to move jobs. Never experienced this before in the 38 years in my industry- obviously my luck has run out!

3 years off retirement so not planning to move jobs

4 years for me so we're on the same page!

However, if you're taking the brunt, would it be worth speaking to HR (ours is invisible!).

Our Manager makes work unplesant for the whole team but if I felt I was being singled out, I'd consider requesting an informal 1-2-1 with them. You know, along the lines of "Look Julia/Julian you seem to have some issues with ... can we have a chat with a view to resolving them."

Have already had the chat- all denied. Had examples and took it from the perspective of wanting to assure we are aligned on communication streams, capacity, goals, output etc. shut down immediately, done with the right words, wrong tone. Documenting everything now and colleagues have offered witness statements. HR is worse than useless, it becomes doubly unpleasant double quick.

Hope yesterday went ok, OP. Looks like you've done everything you can in a calm, measured way. Doesn't surprise me that HR were useless.

I'm just keeping my head down and hoping the Manager moves on or an opportunity comes up within the company for me but there's a recruitment freeze at the moment. I don't want to be fed up for 4 years but no one's coming between me and my pension!

It saddens me to hear that people find HR unhelpful. I worked in HR for years and when employees approached with these kind of issues, they were often reluctant for me to actually deal with it, which made it take difficult to progress.

I think they were fearful of repercussions of raising a formal complaint, but if they don't...it's not possible to do anything, as you need evidence.

There was one manager that I knew was a real bully and I believed the employees.

Eventually, after a near death experience, one employee got the courage to raise a formal complaint against the bully manager, who left after an investigation. I was so happy.

Could you talk to the second line manager at all?

Thank you, both. I have a great line manager, she is in a similar position, and under a great amount of stress at home as well with a terminally ill child. I don’t want to involve her if possible, although she is aware of some areas of concern. I think I have accepted that this person will not change, but I have resolved to change my own responses, still brief and professional but finding constructive ways to challenge. Yesterday was a classic example, something objectionable was said in a hybrid meeting, and I just asked them to repeat themselves very politely, “sorry, I wasn’t sure I caught what you just said..” and they backed off. Could see they were a bit taken aback at being called out in this way, so feel that in future will challenge everything in this way for clarity, and just not hold back any longer being astonished at the unbridled rudeness of them. Obviously want to just shout “stfu you absolute creature!” But will keep that for the day they leave 😆