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I think I’m ready to quit.

19 replies

therockingbird · 02/01/2026 10:44

It’s been a brutal company merger. .
some are saying I have a good case for constructive dismissal but I just don’t think I have it in me. I posted a while ago about how challenging it had become and so down. Since then the transfer of employment has been completed. First pay from new Company was 01/11/25 the we were promptly told all holiday needed to be taken before year end 31/12 and no advance Christmas pay so paid on the last working day of the month. 🫤 I booked off holiday from 15/12 and I’m due to return on 05/01 so I have had a good amount of time off, woken up at 3am this morning and the worry has hit me hard. I just don’t think I can do it anymore. I’ve applied for a couple of jobs this morning but at 53 I’m pretty sure I’m possibly not going to be able to get the level and pay I’m currently at. That doesn’t bother me so much - it’s the fact that I’m walking away after 11+ years service because I just can’t take anymore. I’ve been minimised, ostracised and completely overlooked in this whole acquisition. I feel like a complete failure, yet another example of being walked all over. AIBU? Dramatic or is it time to walk away.

OP posts:
winter8090 · 02/01/2026 10:51

Look for a new job.
In the meantime go to work, do your job to the best of your ability and come home and try to be open about the inevitable changes the acquisition will bring.
Being paid on the last day of the month or being required to use all annual leave isn’t unusual.

TeenLifeMum · 02/01/2026 10:54

I hear you - been through similar but I’m a year on. I was horrifically bullied having previously had a perfect career. None of that mattered because all the people who know me were got rid of. I have had to rebuild and I will never have the level of responsibility I had. I’m sidelined. I have shifted my mindset because the job market is awful and I need to pay my mortgage/don’t want them to win and ruin my career. If you can get out without financial worries then do but if that’s not possible, here’s the things that help me:

  1. You’re feelings right now won’t be forever
  2. I work 9-5 and take a guilt free lunch break. Drama queen can be a martyr and work until 10pm but I will smile and head tilt nod, while finishing at 5pm
  3. remembering it’s all just bullshit and none of it actually matters that much
  4. find a different focus - I got my employer to fund a post grad (much to my manager’s fury and apparently i was selfish for taking the offer - well, I was clearly the only one giving a shit about me so yes, I can be selfish).
  5. now, my dc are teens but I flex my hours and make the job work for me. I’m a good enough employee but I don’t go above and beyond (for 8 years I did because leadership was great, I owe the current lot nothing.)
  6. i keep an eye out for jobs but they would need a commute so I’m sticking it out for now. Play the game and do what’s needed to get through.
MellersSmellers · 02/01/2026 10:55

Mergers and acquisitions are always very unsettling and often, as you say, brutal OP. I would be wary about resigning at 53 in a very difficult job market without something to go to, assuming you do need to work. Personally I would give it 3 months for the dust to settle, updating CV and LinkedIn profile and possibly reaching out to some recruiters during that time to either have a job to go to or at least be poised to hit the job market running. I hear that you're feeling belittled, but taking back control should help you get some perspective.

TeenLifeMum · 02/01/2026 10:56

The pay thing is normal - advance pay isn’t great as it just has to stretch over a longer period.
annual leave - has your leave period changed or did you used to carry over? Ours moved from 31 March to 31 Dec but they gave us an 18 month period to use AL which shifted us over.

Blueskiesnotgrey · 02/01/2026 10:57

Excellent advice here, I'm similar age and about to go into an acquisition so joining this thread for advice too if ok.

BohoGarden · 02/01/2026 10:57

The only thing I regret about my career is a job I stayed in too long when I knew I'd had enough and it was making me unhappy. I wish I'd left when I was at the point where I thought I'd had enough rather than tolerate a toxic atmosphere for a further 18 months.

Since then I left another job that was making me unhappy. I had nothing to go to and so took the first thing that came along. Much lower paid job but I didn't regret it. The feeling of release, the freedom from that 3am and Sunday night stomach lurch was worth its weight in gold.

CharlotteStreetW1 · 02/01/2026 11:02

My DH could have written your post. Except he's almost a decade older. He's finally realised he can afford to retire now and that's his plan. He will take a massive drop in income but it will be worth it for his sanity and happiness.

Your age will not be a barrier. I started my current job at 55.

Wishing you a happier 2026.

yoshiblue · 02/01/2026 11:04

I agree with not quitting without a job but many years ago I was in a similar position and gave myself 3 months to find something more, otherwise I would have quit. Looking back, I was on the verge of a breakdown and definitely should have walked, but I did find a new great job so it worked out.

Agree with suggestions to get your CV/Linked In up to date. Also look at Squiggly Careers podcast/website. There will be episodes very specific to your needs eg toxic workplace, planning a move etc.

Also use their techniques to explore all your options. Really good at allowing you to evaluate your strengths and different options to explore. This approach is very useful when you're down and cant see any positives.

therockingbird · 02/01/2026 11:47

Thanks all, you’ve made me feel a little more upbeat. The holiday thing baffled me somewhat as we’re launching a new branding from early Jan also the use it or lose it term of phrase about the holiday accrued p’d me off. That said I’ve had a nice long break.. being told mid November that after 10+ years of advance pay at Christmas wasn’t ideal but it is what it is and I’m fortunate not to be living month to month.

OP posts:
Flowersforyourchocolateprettyplease · 02/01/2026 11:54

The pay thing isn't an issue.
New employees will have this as the norm going foward and you weren't at least told one paycheck in advance.
They have to start somewhere.
Do you generally struggle with change as this is normal for a lot of companies.

RescueMeFromThisSilliness · 02/01/2026 11:55

If you can possibly afford it, walk away. No business is going to look at your age and dismiss you as too old. I got a new job at around that age, and have been there nearly 10 years. I'm only leaving now because A - the business is implementing a massive new finance software system and I don't want to have to learn new tricks at my age, and B - we can afford for me to take early retirement.

Happytosseyouafteralltheseyears · 02/01/2026 12:09

Difficult one! We got new management in and started swinging about their weight so it wasn’t a merger but they definitely went all out by putting people on PIPs, escalating minor stuff and gave everyone individual metrics and put in metrics that did not make sense for good measure. A lot of us were made redundant thank god! I had 3 months off but in that time got a new job offer quickly but I was hell bent on getting something. You could put a grievance in if you have evidence of how you’re been treated and they might give you a settlement. Redundancy might be what is coming next after a merger so you could hang on. My new job was not at the level I was at but got a pay rise and workload is a fraction of what it was. It’s given me a good 9 months to reset and I hope 2026 I can give more in the workplace ! From now I do have my pension lump sum to fall upon, not that I want to take it out now. At your age look for a small company that values experience. That is where I’m at and smaller companies are far more appreciative of the experience and support. Benefits may be not quite so good but as long as you get benefits that matter (for me good pension contributions and A/L) you will benefit in long run. Good luck OP!

therockingbird · 02/01/2026 12:19

There’s been many other little niggles, org chart announcement with a change of job title without it being discussed beforehand- omitting the ‘marketing’ mention was something I wasn’t aware of. Being missed off the landing page of the new platform ‘meet the team’ everyone else was there apart from me. Being left out of meetings I should have been included in, 1-2-1’s dropped from the diary with no mention of it. It’s been quite relentless if I’m honest. All brushed aside as an oversight but have most definitely battered my confidence. I’ve kept working (far more than I should) but it’s just not sustainable. I’ll keep my head down and look for something else. Do what’s reasonably required and nothing more.

OP posts:
ClickCait · 02/01/2026 13:41

I worked for a call centre company which was bought out by another call centre company who are pretty notorious for not being a great employer. I'd already been feeling unhappy with where I was, but things had actually improved slightly for a while.

Then they decided that my team, who were all tenured customer service agents, were going to be pulled from our current campaign and moved over to sales. They kept pushing the big bonuses we'd be able to make there and what a good thing this was.

I went into the training and could see straight away that it was not going to be the right environment for me, so I immediately started making applications for other jobs and polishing my CV. They went easy on us for about two weeks and then started putting the pressure on for making more sales and getting add ons when we did get a sale; one person got to the point that they were actually hitting their sales targets but got put on a PIP because the increase in sales meant their percentage of add on sales fell, so their job was going to be at risk basically because they had managed to hit their sales target.

It honestly felt like they knew we'd all be entitled to significant redundancy pay if they let us go (none of us had been there for less than 5 years; I'd been there over ten) so they put us into something we wouldn't have chosen/wasn't suited to our skills and then let us either walk, or would ultimately be able to let you go for not achieving the set targets.

I'd been unhappy with the way things were since before the change in ownership, but that change made it feel a more toxic environment and then the change in campaign tipped me over the edge. I knew I either needed to get out or I'd end up signed off due to my mental health.

I worked on the basis that it's easier to find a job when you still have one (you still have that monthly income, so you're not at the point of taking anything that comes along just so you can pay the bills). I worked on interview skills and sorted out clothes I could wear to an interview and was lucky enough that the right job for me came along.

Had it not, I would've ridden it out for as long as I could, but I know my mental health was slipping and I likely would've ended up needing time off to give myself a break.

I'd say, stay with the job for now, things might improve and you might decide to stay, but in the meanwhile, work on your exit strategy; put out feelers for jobs you could do, work on your CV, practice what you'd say in an interview, make lists of your transferable skills, etc. It definitely helped me feel like I was doing something even when I felt totally stuck.

Sidebeforeself · 02/01/2026 14:22

RescueMeFromThisSilliness · 02/01/2026 11:55

If you can possibly afford it, walk away. No business is going to look at your age and dismiss you as too old. I got a new job at around that age, and have been there nearly 10 years. I'm only leaving now because A - the business is implementing a massive new finance software system and I don't want to have to learn new tricks at my age, and B - we can afford for me to take early retirement.

Im sorry to say this but many businesses dismiss the over 50s. It’s ridiculous, illegal, self sabotaging etc etc but it still happens so much. That’s no reason to stay in a job that makes you miserable of course, but it is a factor that someone of 53 needs to consider when job hunting.

therockingbird · 16/02/2026 16:54

Well.. it didn’t end great. I quit today. 4 weeks notice period given.

OP posts:
Eatinpeachesonthebeaches · 16/02/2026 17:02

Have you got anything else to go to ?

therockingbird · 16/02/2026 17:08

I have two consultancy board roles I’m paid for per meeting but apart from that no. I just can’t take anymore! At this point I need to refocus and think about my own mental state and continuing in that job role isn’t helping.

OP posts:
Eatinpeachesonthebeaches · 16/02/2026 17:38

Take care and have a big hug from me. I think sometimes a situation can become so stressful that you can't fight any more and have to escape it.

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