To know if to give it up?

[OliveTree1106]

Hi all,
This is a bit long winded so will try and keep it short!

I’ve been at my current job in the charity sector for over 20 years, it’s always been a meaningful and purposeful job.
I’ve progressed within my role over the years and have been a manager for some years now. During that time I’ve had two children, my youngest is almost 2yrs.

It has always been a high stress job and we’ve faced alot of challenges and difficulties within the organisation which has been tough. The problem I’m having is after returning from my second mat leave last year, I’m feeling so burnt out by the job. For the first time ever I’m considering leaving due to how I’ve been feeling.
I feel like my job is basically dealing with everyone’s stress, emotions and general c*. Dealing with people moaning, judging, it is so draining and exhausting. Nothing I do ever feels enough.

I used to love this job and this place so much but honestly, it’s been so long since I feel like I’ve made a difference but it’s been a part of my life for so long, how do I know when to say goodbye?

I’m so worried I’ll leave and regret my decision but the stress is affecting my mental health and in turn, affecting how present I am
at home.

Considering leaving and just being a SAHM but I’m filled with such worry that I will regret it.
Just feeling lost 😔

I quit a demanding marketing role after 20 years. I had once loved the job but when the kids came along things shifted. I wasn’t able for the combination of the time-consuming demanding job role and the time-consuming demanding parenting role. However, I did do this combination for 5 years before going on antidepressants to help me cope. After a further 2 years I just knew my career was over and I quit.

That was 10 years ago! I’ve never once regretted my decision and I always look back with fondness of having had the opportunity to have had such a great job during my 20s and 30s. I’m proud of myself but I also know that these demanding roles have a shelf-life when personal dynamics change.

I wasn’t a SAHM though. I went to work in our family business, just an admin role during term time. Very local to home. No pressure and was available for the kids. I also started getting my 8 hours sleep a night! After Covid, I worked part-time in a school plus the family business, again very enjoyable.

However, when I stopped at the school and worked solely for the family business but from home at this stage I did feel cut-off from the rest of the world for at least 6 months. Then, I realised I couldn’t go back to rushing out every morning after getting the kids off to school so I started to enjoy being at home.

Sorry for the long reply, but to summarise, yes, you should think about leaving if your MH is suffering BUT don’t expect to be a happy immediately if you’re going from a working life to a SAHM. Sign-up to a gym or something so you still get out of the house during the day. It’ll speed the happiness process up.

Good luck!

I wouldn’t leave to be a SAHM, because I think it’s important on many levels to stay engaged in the work force. After 20 years in one place you can find yourself feeling a bit worn out, new challenges can be hard to find and when your personal life has changed, the old day to day just doesn’t fit any more. You clearly have lots of experience and transferable skills which will give you options.

One thing that worked for me was focussing on one or two core skills and taking a step back into a job that used those skills well. It meant I could do a much less demanding job, so wasn’t working excessive hours or taking work home with me, but still had a profile within my sector. I also worked part time which was possible in the less demanding role. Now my kids are older I’ve been able to step back up and my career is back to where it was when I took a step back. You may find a new job in a new organisation gives you the balance you need.