Am I kidding myself by retraining as midwife after being SAHM for 5 years - advice needed please?

[LittleManktiesMum]

I've been a SAHM for 5 years. DS is in reception year at school and DD is 2. The dream/plan is to re-train as a midwife. With this in mind, I've spent the last 2 years doing my GCSE English & Maths respectively one eve per week at college. The plan is to start an Access course next September with a view to starting Midwifery degree at uni 10/11 (when kids will be 7 & 5).

My dilemma - DH works long hours, not very flexible. I need to be the one in the 'supporting' role. Have family local but they're not a great deal of help when it comes to the kids. Should I embark on this change of career when realistically looking after the kids comes down to me, or should I accept that I'll simply have to settle for a job at Tesco that fits round dropping off/picking up from school/school holidays. Feeling trapped

Hmm a tricky one! ..
If you feel trapped then studying/working towards something like Midwifery gives you a goal..but if you don't have a support network/DH not able to be flexible etc then are you going to buckle under the strain of dealing with all kids/home related stuff aswell as studying loooong hours/shift work on placements (not sure if this is case?)..
On the other hand will you resent not doing it ?
Sorry that didn't help at all...have been there though know how you feel
Good Luck..maybe do the Access and see how you get on with that

lmm, do you know much about the course? when you start the midwifery one, will you be placed in a hospital placement quite early on? as i imagine you would have to work night and weekend etc?

lmm what is your dhs job? surely its upto him to be more flexible too?

www.mumsnet.com/Talk?topicid=6&threadid=541562#11058076

FUnnily enough I would love to train as a midwife too but there is little point atm for a lot of the reasons that the OP gives.

DH works away a lot and therefore isn't able to be flexible even though if he could he would be.

I do an office job because it fits in with me being the primary carer - I am happy being the primary carer, at the end of the day that means more to me than a potential career in midwifery.

Thanks paddling (love the name ) - that does help clarify things in my mind and deep-down I believe that I really may regret it if I don't give it a shot.
Access being 3 days a week & during school hours will give me a better idea of the realities of Uni study. Am conscious that the kids will grow-up one day and as well as being here as their mum, I want to be a positive role model for them, together with starting down the path of reclaiming my own life back too.

could you visit a hospital meet a MW, have a chat about the demands of the role etc. visit prospective uni meet some tutors, visit open day

not all mw work shifts eg clinics are Mon-Friday but obviously you will need to work shifts gain labour ward etc and consolidate clinical experience as a new graduate

with any major career and social change there will be demands and need to compromise too. but weigh up long term gain
Job satisfaction
professional qualification
camaraderie
self satisfaction

nhs is demanding and not well paid but can be very satisfying. BUT also very exasperating too

training and CPD continue post grad and post qualificayion. the books/journald dont go away when you qualify

Lovelysongbird - I have spoken to the Uni and yes, placements are going to be the difficult issue with working various shift patterns, etc. I agree about DH being flexible too though due to his current situation, he's unlikely to be able to be flexible until such time as I start working again - therein lies the dilemma. Plus from a financial point of view I (very fortunately) don't "need" to work and I think this is how he sees it.

Skinflint - thanks for the link - I'll have a read.

Tigerfeet - we seem to be in very much the same position. I think I need to think long and hard about whether I put family life before my own (perhaps selfish) dreams. Its frustrating that it appears to have to be one or the other.....

does anyone have any idea what the pay is? i also am hoping to this one day, as i guess a lot of mums are.

Have you thought about maybe rather training as a NCT antenatal class leader? Alternatively, when you are a midwife, you could also chose to do something other than hospital shifts eg community work or breastfeeding advisor etc with possibly more regular hours?

Scottish Mummy - many thanks for your really helpful post. Was planning on attending Uni open day later on in the year but speaking to a MW would be a sensible move before I go too much further - I need to be fully aware of the realities of the job not just the training to get there.

lovelysongbird - www.nhscareers.nhs.uk/details/Default.aspx?Id=4 You can click on a link further down for actual rates of pay.

myjobismum - thanks for your message of support - good luck to you too

LittleMissTickles - I think once qualified I may be able to secure more regular hours. Its the placements while at Uni that will cause the difficulty as (from what I understand) will be expected to work various shifts, day and night, sometimes at quite short notice, therefore making childcare arrangements nigh on impossible without support from husband/other family.

I'd also recommend having a look at this student midwives site for finding out the reality of actually being a student midwife and also what people who've come out the other side think about the job. FWIW I had a place to train last year and decided to put it off because it would be so demanding with small children.

I have a friend who is training at the moment and on her first placement was on-call shadowing a community midwife several days (and nights) a week, so she can be called out at a moment's notice. Is this something that you could realistically manage to do?

lmm how are you today?
thanks for the link. v helpful
the py is quite shocking for such a qualified important job, esp when you consider the shifts an all.
do you have much help from your family ie mum or mil?

DS - thanks ever so much for the link, I'll certainly check the site out as am sure there's plenty of others in same position as me. The placements will be the tricky issue for me due to lack of other childcare options, though this may get easier when children are older.

LSB - Hi, thanks for asking. Feeling a bit deflated but am sure that if its what I really want to do then I'll find a way. Yes, the pay is quite shocking bearing in mind a degree educated profession, though when working for NHS guess there are other benefits - pension, job security, etc.
Mum can help a bit and if I start down this route and she sees me struggling, perhaps she will offer a bit more. Children are still quite young ATM but when DD starts school in 2 years, she'll be there all day. DH could do school run in morning so would only leave after-school as problem and if I was doing nights, I could sleep when they are at school the next day. I'm going to do my Access course whatever next year, attend open day at Uni and then see what happens after that. I honestly do think I'll regret it if I don't give it a shot. What about you?

Newly qualified MW starts on Band 6

Point 23 £23,458
Point 24 £24,383
Point 25 £25,424
Point 26 £26,464
Point 27 £27,388
Point 28 £28,313
Point 29 £29,237
Point 30 £30,277
Point 31 £31,779

with progression to
Band 7 team leader/clinical specialist
Point 28 £28,313
Point 29 £29,237
Point 30 £30,277
Point 31 £31,779
Point 32 £32,704
Point 33 £33,744
Point 34 £34,899
Point 35 £36,112
Point 36 £37,326

newly qualified MW JD

also look at nhs jobs homepage this will give you JD and a realistic basis of employee expectations and job

Newly qualified midwives should start on Band 6 but in practice many actually start on Band 5

Those figures don't include unsociable hours payments, so the actual pay tends to be rather higher if you do shifts which include nights, bank holidays etc.

interesting!tbh to anyone considering the NHS it is vocationally satisfying but v stressful too. the pay is pants considering entrants are university trained,the job security is variable,the pension terms and conditions changed to new entrants few years ago they are not on final salary scale. as many trusts become foundation status the emphasis upon clinicians is how to save money, meet targets, and objectives

dont join for the financial benefits because frankly there are none!

but there is high vocational satisfaction
intellectually stimulating
great colleagues
high sense of autonomy

if you are aware of all this and still want a nhs career - fantastic

Can I ask why you fancy midwifery? I have taught on Access courses, and without wanting to sound negative (which of course I now will) I have found that many students can't get onto midwifery courses, they are so competitive. Of course that shouldn't put you off if it is your dream - follow it! However, I'd talk to the Access co-ordinator at your college and ask how many students are getting onto midwifery courses, and whether they have good links with the courses, that type of thing. Perhaps the Access course will be a good thing regardless of whether you do pursue midwifery afterwards... By studying the equivalent of A Level in Biology/Psychology/Sociology etc you'll be learning lots of new things which would be more than relevant if you wanted to pursue other career options, so you'd be keeping your options open, and the skills you'd learn on the course could equip you for a different career even without further study. I asked 'why midwifery?' at the outset because many people who have had children like the sound of it (not wishing to patronise because you could well have thought of doing nothing else for years) because they have come into contact with the service themselves, just like how many people who have recently got married fancy themselves as wedding planners, myself included! The reality of dealing with e.g. shiftwork, really harrowing situations e.g. stillbirth etc - might be very difficult to handle unless you've really thought it through. Is it the mental challenge/teamwork etc aspect? Is it the actual involvement with women birthing their babies? Would you be interested in other types of nursing (e.g. adult/mental health etc?), or other work related to women/babies e.g. NCT trainer etc? Just trying to see whether you are set on midwifery, or whether there are other avenues you could explore, which perhaps might fit better with your childcare commitments...

HappyNappies - Thanks for your really helpful post. I understand that entry onto the midwifery degree is incredibly competitive (esp at my local uni - Brighton). I know the local college's Access to Health Studies course is linked in with the Uni, but will check out the number of students who secure a place after completing the course.
I must admit midwifery was not something I had considered prior to having children of my own, but my own birth experiences, coupled a desire to facilitate women to have the best possible experience of pregnancy and childbirth, led me to consider midwifery as a career option. I will certainly be going into it with my eyes open and do not under-estimate the realities of a career in this field, but will definitely keep my options open if other opportunities/options in the healthcare field arise which I had not previously considered.

HappyNappies - Thanks for your really helpful post. I understand that entry onto the midwifery degree is incredibly competitive (esp at my local uni - Brighton). I know the local college's Access to Health Studies course is linked in with the Uni, but will check out the number of students who secure a place after completing the course.
I must admit midwifery was not something I had considered prior to having children of my own, but my own birth experiences, coupled a desire to facilitate women to have the best possible experience of pregnancy and childbirth, led me to consider midwifery as a career option. I will certainly be going into it with my eyes open and do not under-estimate the realities of a career in this field, but will definitely keep my options open if other opportunities/options in the healthcare field arise which I had not previously considered.

Apologies for the duplicate post.

hi there I'm due to start midwifery degree in september, There would be no way i could do it without childcare support from my partner and family. so you do need to make sure you have that sorted because the uni won't make any allowances for you because of childcare reasons. you will be doing early shifts so starting from as early as 7, then late shifts which can finish at 9 plus call outs and nights/weekends.

I wish you all the best if you do decide to apply the application process itself is a rollercoaster, it is very competitive.

Hi there, I converted from general nursing to midwifery, when my DCs were 2 and 5, this is an 18 month course so shorter but definitely worth it.
If you have a spare room consider an au pair, they can work for up to 25 hours a week and can fill in the gaps before and after school and some evenings ect.
The job is getting more flexible all the time, I am working job share at the moment doing twilight shifts 6pm-midnight and weekend days.
If you really want to do it, go for it, good luck.