What are you telling your DC about the world of work

[topcat2014]

So, we will all have been working for many years decades now, and maybe DC are starting out in the world of work.

What will you be telling your DC about work? Will you mention your successes disasters and trying to balance the enthusiasm of "you can be anything you want" with a bit of realism?

I think I will be saying
"Your career progression is up to you"
"If a job turns a bit rubbish then leave, rather than stick it out"
"Nothing good comes from HR"

Maybe that last one is borne of too much personal experience...

I used to consider myself a "high flyer" - end of 2025 not so much :)

My DC has seen me go through some career ups and downs, make job choices based on finances (she benefitted, paying the school fees), and eventually find a really good balance between money, work/life and a fulfilling job. I’d like to think I’ve taught her to persevere, have high standards, don’t put up with crap at work but ultimately to make sure you have a means of supporting yourself.

I don't need to tell them anything, I have been working at home since 2019, they have seen it!

We have chatted to the children about jobs from a young age. We watched How It's Made so they understood someone designing the machines in a factory, the workers whose jobs might be repetitive as well as the usual people they see such as teachers, dentist, doctors, supermarket shelf stackers, till workers, bus/train drivers etc.

We talked about you can do a job you absolutely love and you can do a meh job. We talked about some things pay a lot and some things don't and hopefully you can combine a job you love with one that pays well. They understand pay scales and salaries for various jobs. This was also covered in secondary school along with housing costs.

A great example of the above was a chap who said if I throw a party for 50 people at my large house and I need a cleaning crew, that is a low skilled job that practically anyone can do. If I drop to the floor with a heart attack the person who might save my life is far more skilled and not everyone wants or can do that.

As mine are young adults now we have told them that HR is there for the company, you cannot trust anyone completely and having watched The Traitors that people misconstrue facial expressions and things you say. Also that any message/email you send on a work computer can be read by management and SAR can reveal what you wrote too. Be nice to everyone as you never know where someone's loyalty lies.

They have read MN over my shoulder too for work issues. They know my job history and Dh's, salaries, progression and the difference between a job (me) and career (Dh)

Thanks!

We have told them to do something they enjoy and to make sure they put into a pension asap.

I don’t have kids, but if I did, I’d give them the same life advice my parents gave me.

“Find a career you like, that allows you to do the things you love.”

This was the advice I was given when I wanted to work with animals cause I like animals. They emphasised that I should focus on a career that lets me have the time and money to have my own animals, rather than earning lower wages (typically) to care for other people’s animals.

Also, plan for your retirement from the get go. Assume you will need to self fund and anything from the gov is a bonus.

Work to live, don’t live to work.

Keep your hobby and your work separate.

You may not start out in the job/ career you end up with

most jobs are often boring and repetitive

Your work colleagues will not necessarily be your friends, neither will they always be nice to you / sympathetic to your problems

Turn up with a positive attitude and look people in the eye

I’d tell them, a good attitude will serve you well, in any job you do.

I’d also add that the “if you don’t like it leave” advice is very bad - we need to teach our kids resilience and methods to deal with situations that are sub optimal.

@VanCleefArpelsthanks! I suppose I was thinking about not staying indefinitely in a slightly poor job rather than regular bailing out, but I take your point!

Similar to a poster upthread - try to find something you enjoy and pay into the pension scheme.

Don’t narrow down your options. Don’t do something you don’t enjoy. Don’t make assumptions about jobs unless you’ve tried them or spent time with someone that does. Never stop learning.

(She lives a very fortunate existence thanks to me being in HR………. Most of the people that bitch about us couldn’t hack it in real life.)

He’s 25 and got my ADHD gene.

I think I modelled rather than told, although these days we talk about our choices directly and why we made them.

I never believed in “job security”. I saw too many people lose a job they’d done in an exemplary fashion for reasons entirely beyond their control. I was used to rolling with the punches, because I was always on something of a sticky wicket (due to the ADHD and square peg trying to fit in round hole issue). Whereas it was much more of a blow to them because they’d done everything right, and it had still all gone wrong.

I have thrived as a freelancer. Choosing my hours, clients and direction means my work fits who I am, rather than me trying to bend myself into a twisty shape around my work.

DS has gone down a similar route, but is a lot more ambitious and a self starter than I was or am. His self esteem is eons ahead of what mine was at his age. Which will be down to many factors, but I suspect one is that he has always worked on his own terms and always focused on outperforming in something he is good at, that people are willing to pay for.

I think we’ve always modelled don’t let your lifestyle creep up to match today’s level of income. Too many recessions and hiccups beyond my own control have made me leery of thinking what is coming in today can be relied upon longer term to stay in the same ballpark. And he seems to lean more in that direction than most of his friends.

It’s hard to know if we’ve steered him right, or infected him with our own hang ups, because he is still so young and we’ve not got alternative universe version of him to measure against. But so far, not bad, even quite good. Longer term, we’ll have to wait and see.

I tell my teenagers that part of high school is getting on with people you don’t particularly like or who don’t get you, because that’s important in the world of work. To give themselves choice - at the moment that means doing well in school because it gives you more options than doing the bare minimum. We also talk about there being many roads to a good life, so if something does go wrong, and school isn’t working for them we’ll help them find another way.

They see me and their dad work hard, and we make direct links to that meaning we have a nice home, good holidays etc. But we also talk about the type of work making a huge difference to lifestyle. Most of all we both talk about mostly finding something you enjoy, that suits your personality and that you can always change direction.