HR Help please flowerygenius! re security vetting: not so glamorous when mad parents accuse you of fraud

[TeaRose]

I currently work for a London publisher and am applying for a new job, at reasonably high-level government communication. I've had a solid, mildly impressive, publishing career for 18 years and have just been shortlisted for a national award. I need to be vetted thoroughly to get the job, and I can't see why I won't pass, except for dearest mum. Over the years my mother has accused me of various types of fraud, including being arrested for employee theft, and, most recently, trying to steal from a family trust. None of it is true. Mum has a history of this and in her current job a colleague put his lawyers onto her for slander. The trouble is she does like to make the accusations in writing to various semi-authorities. She wrote to our lawyer, very plausibly, to make the fraud accusations, last year, for instance. I don't think she'll stop doing it even if I talk to her.

How do security vetting processes work? If I need to, what can I do about the wicked whispers to clear my name? I can prove I've got no criminal record etc etc but I would love to know what else to do.

No idea but my sympathy. Bumping for you!

If it is just whispers and you have no convictions, how are the vetting people even going to find out about it? If you are a good candidate for the job, then even if they did pick up on the whispers wouldn't they discuss it with you and you could explain? The slander issue with the colleague will make your side of things absolutely credible.

IME of being security vetted (v high level, but for a job I didn't get in the end as I failed the medical)it was very, very thorough, and I can't imagine that they would take anything that your mum had done seriously, especially when she is a serial accuser and your solicitors were involved.

What they are looking for, in part, is that there is nothing you could be blackmailed about, so you do need to tell them about your mums behaviour upfront.

BTW- the questions that they ask you and your referees can be v v personal !

TeaRose I'm going to be honest and say I haven't got the foggiest! I've never worked anywhere with that level of security checking - it would normally be government for obvious reasons which I haven't touched with a bargepole haven't had the pleasure of working in.

Your best bet is advice from people who have worked in those areas either managing the checking process or being checked themselves like cmot.

My opinion would be that, as cmot says, a series of accusations from one person none of which resulted in any kind of proof or conviction may well not be a problem, but that opinion is not based on any experience. Does sound like being upfront about it is a good idea though - that makes sense to me.

PS - love the 'mildly impressive' description of your career

Thanks so very much for all this - cmot, it wasn't me, but the colleague, who went to the lawyers about my mum's behaviour. But... do you think it might help if I did, discreetly? She's my mother and I can't possibly shop her (the criminal offence is harrassment and she'll get the police on her doorstep)but I'm wondering if a quiet word on headed paper might be of assistance - many jobs I do will involve vetting from now on.

Ooh.... personal questions.... what could they be....

You said that she'd written to your solicitor to make the fraud accusation - I presumed that they'd had some involvement in checking that the trust hadn't been interfered with, and could attest to that if necessary. If she's kept going with this sort of thing, then I doubt that a letter would work, but it would be good to keep copies of anything and ensure that they are 'officialy' followed up - so a letter to your sols from her would merit getting them to write a letter back with reasons why it was untrue, and they keep an official copy for you.

Um. When I had my vetting done (and its 12 years ago now)they asked me and my peer group referee some very indepth questions about my love life . Which was entertaining as I did my interview at my parents house , and she talked to them in Green Park (on her lunch break).

Thanks so much. I feel your pain re the matters of lerve, how shaming. I hope they don't ever conduct a 'refresher' interview...

Sorry, I should have been clearer in the first post but was attempting brevity in order to avoid moans of boredom from you/MNetters UK-wide.

The solicitor Mum wrote to was, technically, her solicitor. She was setting up a trust to protect a (very small) inheritance to help me buy a flat because, you won't be surprised to hear, she has issues with money. The inheritance was very late arriving, and in the meantime I saw a flat I liked. So the housing association asked me to produce a letter confirming I had 'proof of savings' in order to accept my application, and Mum suggested the solicitor write me a letter to confirm the trust would have that part of the savings. She asked the lawyer to do it.

The lawyer lost or forgot about the email, and in the meantime the deadline loomed for the flat. So I spoke to the lawyer and arranged to collect the letter at their office - the deadline was missed by then, but as my mother pointed out, given the delay in the cash, the letter could come in useful for another flat. So despite the missed deadline, I stumped up to the West End as arranged with lawyer, found the offices according to my mother's directions, waited for hours for the lawyer (who'd evidently forgotten again), thanked her effusively, and returned home with the effing letter, slightly grumpy at the whole performance.

Some months later I found an email (by accident) from my mum to the lawyer claiming that she had no idea I was visiting the offices, apologising for my presence there 'I only hope she did not cause you and your staff too much trouble' and claiming she thought that 'TeaRose is using the letter to obtain yet more credit on an unrelated matter'.

Apparently, if you know about trusts, this is a recognised form of fraud. Quite ingenious of the old bird to come up with, really, particularly as the trust didn't even exist yet, there wasn't any money in it, I haven't even had an overdraft for the past 10 years, and I'd spent an afternoon with my parents showing them the brochure of the flat and the offer letters from the Housing Association.

Well, I didn't use the letter to get credit and I imagine Mum's lawyer could confirm that - I certainly can. Should I get a solicitor and write to the lawyer and ask her to confirm it?

Anyway, this is just one example of Mum's touching,tender,and moist-eyed family communications - God Knows what the others are at the moment, I think I'm better off now knowing.

Still cringing about personal questions for you. Have resolved to wear large, spotlessly white knickers to interview. Maybe girdle.

Still think it's worth getting a solicitor?

I think you'd be OK - if its never been a serious accusation, then you don't need to show anything. Just tell the interviewer at an appropriate moment about the situation with your mum, and be prepared to go into detail.

My late grandmother was like your mum - all sorts of wild accusations would be issued, although she'd cut people off for long periods about them. Funnily enough one of these people was my great aunt who I didn't know about till I was 30 when she phoned my Dad like she'd only spoken to him yesterday. She was a lecturer at Sandhurst, and has led a fascinating life.

BTW - they aren't terribly bothered about what you have done between the sheets or with whom, but rather that you aren't hiding anything that could be used against you. At the age when I had security screening done (and if I'd gone through with the job I'd have been rescreened every 2 years) that was a very good thing.

They are less interested these days in who you're shagging than money. They need to make sure that you're not up to your eyebrows in debt or clearing your debts by working on your back in the evenings. Essentially that you're not blackmailable, given the tiny salary they'll be paying you .