Did anyone else feel a bit useless when going back to work after mat leave?

[Backtoworknewmum]

Full disclaimer, my confidence at work in my current job has always been a bit shaky. I think I have a bit of imposter syndrome because I feel I’m maybe not as creative or confident etc as my colleagues. I have all the necessary quals and have been in my current role for around three years.

I returned from mat leave at the end of Nov and feel like I’ve been a bit useless as I settle back in. I’ve reduced my hours so I’m getting used to having a shorter working week and things happening when I’m not there.

I also feel like a lot of the ‘specialist’ knowledge has escaped my brain over the past year off. It’s not essential for the main part of the job but is a good ‘value added’ aspect IYSWIM.

Things have also (understandably) moved on while I was away - there are new policies etc that I need to catch up on, and I’ve recently found that my calendar is out of sync with meeting times for regular meetings having been changed and I’d dropped off the team mailing list, but because it’s a fully WFH role, I’m finding out by chance or if I turn up to something at the wrong time, which has been embarrassing. Because the role doesn’t have the office atmosphere of all being in the same place in person at the same time, I feel a bit like I don’t know what I don’t know, if that makes sense?

DD has also been off with bugs as she’s settled in to nursery and needed childcare sorting which is another plate I know I need to get used to spinning.

Did anyone else feel like this on return to work? My manager and colleagues are brilliant, I guess I just feel quite isolated at the moment and am finding it tricky to find my way back in.

TIA!

Yes! It took me around 3 months to feel like myself again at work. My brain just didn't feel like it was functioning sometimes, I swear I spent the first couple of weeks tilting my head at people like a confused puppy!

Be kind to yourself, it's a massive adjustment. You'll be fine 🤍

over a year on and it hasn’t really improved. I need a new job but can’t get one as I need part time!

Thank you, this is quite reassuring! I can totally empathise with the lack of brain function. I feel like I just sit in meetings mute with no thoughts and nothing to contribute 😣

Naively I didn’t expect it to be as big an adjustment as it’s turned our to be!

Yes, of course - I think it's completely normal. I remember coming back from my third mat leave and looking through old emails that I had sent and thinking, 'wtf, when did I know any of this???' It's just one of those things.

I think also if you have had a long period of sleep deprivation (which I did) then it's harder to concentrate, and it takes time to 'repay the debt' of the lost sleep (i.e. not just a few nights of more/better sleep, but months and months of it).

Finally, once you have a child you are thinking about extra life admin - have they got clean clothes, who is taking them to nursery and picking them up, who takes care of them if they're not well enough for childcare, is there a kids' party on Saturday etc etc etc until the end of time. This takes up headspace and I find it limits my capacity at work a bit.

Oh no, I’m sorry to hear this for you. I’d also like to retrain but like you find the p/t hours and WFH useful for pick-ups/drop-offs/emergencies. I think in a few years once DD is older I’ll look for something more hybrid, as I don’t think 100% WFH is good for me professionally or in wellbeing terms

Yes, I felt like I was starting a new job all over again. There were some new processes etc and also stuff I previously did on autopilot I had to really think about.

and my brain was mush and I was sleep deprived. I went p/t after maternity leave and felt like both a slightly crap mum and a slightly crap employee!

luckily work are very supportive. Our approach when people return is to start back on a reduced workload and build back up to speed. And we always expect kids to get poorly when starting nursery so we anticipate some disruption there too.