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Get signed off due to stress?

23 replies

ManagementStress · 10/12/2025 14:18

I'm really struggling with my job, and I don't know what to do for the best.

I'm a lowish level middle manager at a company. My team consists of 17 people in total, 4 of those are direct reports. I interviewed for my current role ~6 years ago as an internal applicant. I've got a long (and 100% positive) employment history within the same company. I work part time (0.6 FTE), and have worked part time since I took the role (and before that for a number of years).

My workload is totally unmanageable and I feel like I am drowning. Our wider company, and my specific department within the company (my team is just one team in a bigger department) is growing very rapidly and everyone is SO busy. It's like nothing I've ever known before and just seems to be the new "normal".

As a result of how busy we are everyone is struggling, mistakes are being made, things are being missed. My wider team includes some junior members and there are performance issues. Although these are not my direct reports I'm constantly supporting their managers to navigate these issues, and I am totally overwhelmed.

Generally speaking I am finding that I just don't really enjoy people management. I don't think I'm very good at it. Although my performance reviews since I took on the role have all been positive. My manager is OK - supportive but it's all a bit "empty". They have made some decisions over the years that I haven't agreed with, but I've always been overruled, and often it has turned out my preferred approach would probably have better outcomes in the long run, but I'm the one dealing with the fallout. They tell me to back myself, make my own decisions, etc. but when I do they often disagree with my approach and ultimately overrule me. As such my confidence is at rock bottom and I just constantly second guess myself.

These last few months have just been one issue after another, I'm constantly getting dragged away from what I am supposed to be doing and dealing with other issues. I'm exhausted and in a very negative headspace and I dread going into work. I've talked to my manager - although not to the point of being brutally honest - and the advice is always "delegate!" however I have a team who are all feeling overworked themselves, and I'm concerned for their wellbeing too, so practically this just doesn't make sense.

I think I currently have over 300 unread emails that I just can't find the time to get to. I'm always rushing from one thing to another, no time to feel adequately prepared for anything. Often I finish a day/week at work and can't actually summarise what I've meaningfully achieved.

Ultimately I don't know what to do. I keep thinking about getting signed off work for a couple of weeks so I can get my head straight, but I'm worried that may make me look weak. Furthermore all the problems will likely be amplified when I go back as if I ever have time off (annual leave) I come back to even more to catch up on. But maybe if I was signed off with work stress that would at least open up the conversation properly, as whenever I try and raise concerns I feel like my feelings are dismissed "You're doing a great job, etc.".

What I would ultimately like at this point is to be able to find another role within the company, even if it's at a slightly lower level, without management responsibility. I'd like to go back to being a single contributor and doing a role that feels more tangible (I used to have a more practical hands on role previously and I've totally lost that aspect now).

However being part time I think realistically finding another department who would be happy to have me on p/t hours, given how busy literally everyone is, would be slim to none. I did once inquire about a secondment to ask if they'd consider a p/t candidate and I got a flat "No".

Going back full time could be an option but ultimately not what I really want for various personal reasons.

I really don't want to leave the company.

Please help as I feel totally stuck.

OP posts:
ManagementStress · 10/12/2025 14:19

Sorry that was longer than I intended, it all came pouring out. Thank you if anyone manages to read all that waffle.

OP posts:
Oopsadaisydoodah · 10/12/2025 14:19

Talk to your GP and ask what your options are
it won’t make you weak it means you are unwell from stress caused by your workplace

Chickenandcauli · 10/12/2025 14:19

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

changednamforthis · 10/12/2025 14:25

I think most GPs will sign you off so I don’t think you necessarily need to worry about that. They will likely sign you off for 2 weeks or longer.

Im no expert but you could maybe tell your manager that you’re feeling so overwhelmed it’s affecting your mental health and that your GP has suggested that you’re not fit for work. That would then show your manager you’re serious without actually being off sick (but that could be the next step if things aren’t resolved).

Hopefully someone will come along with better advice as what I suggested may come with issues but it’s certainly something I’ve considered doing.

ManagementStress · 10/12/2025 15:49

Thank you for taking the time to reply.

I'm really not sure why @Chickenandcauli 's response has been deleted?! I appreciate all takes on the situation.

I am so overwhelmed I just don't know how to think straight. I suppose my fear about being signed off is that it could open the door to the capability process if I am off due to work-related stress. Essentially that it could appear I am not capable of doing my job.

I have honestly never really enjoyed the role, there has always been some challenge or other draining the life out of me. I have kept ploughing on thinking it would eventually get better. I have overcome each challenge but things never truly improve.

I probably do need to speak totally frankly with my manager. I am just not one for putting my needs first. I can't afford to lose my job either. I just keep burying my head in the sand and hoping something will improve.

I am wondering if I can limp through to the Christmas break and see how I feel when I go back in the new year. At least there will be some breathing space as I have less than two weeks left.

OP posts:
ManagementStress · 10/12/2025 15:50

I keep thinking of that saying - you can't pour from an empty cup. I feel totally empty and have nothing left to give.

OP posts:
WinterStrls · 10/12/2025 15:53

Can you take a week self cert sick leave before Xmas and roll it into your holiday so it’s a two week break? As a breather

loveawineloveacrisp · 10/12/2025 15:56

It sounds like you don't have the appropriate workload for someone who only works 3 days. Could you maybe increase to 4? Appreciate you didn't want to go full time.

topcat2014 · 10/12/2025 16:00

My advice would be to limp through. You may feel different after Christmas. Or you may not. No one will thank you for bringing them problems at this time.

youalright · 10/12/2025 16:03

Take the time of and look for another job. Your job isn't going to be magically better after taking time of it will most likely be worse.

surreygirly · 10/12/2025 16:05

Managing 17 people is not a part time job - full time

ManagementStress · 10/12/2025 16:12

WinterStrls · 10/12/2025 15:53

Can you take a week self cert sick leave before Xmas and roll it into your holiday so it’s a two week break? As a breather

I think I would still need a Dr Note as it would be more than 7 calendar days I would be "sick". But that's a good suggestion.

OP posts:
MsWilmottsGhost · 10/12/2025 16:13

My experience as a fellow part timer is that managers often overestimate the amount of work that fits in the reduced hours and you end up doing a full time job for part time pay 🙄

I was where you are last year, and as I'm disabled I raised it as during a reasonable adjustments review, which certainly got the ball rolling. Though sometimes I think it would have been better for me to have got signed off sick, the review gave me loads of work to do! Thankfully things have improved since then.

If you have any kind of review coming up maybe you could raise workload issues at that?

In my case it did mean giving a very firm NO to some tasks, and my manager wasn't really used to hearing that from me, it came as a bit of a shock.

ManagementStress · 10/12/2025 16:14

surreygirly · 10/12/2025 16:05

Managing 17 people is not a part time job - full time

I don't manage all 17 on paper, but the reality is I end up doing it indirectly. But yes I see what you are saying. It's too much.

OP posts:
ManagementStress · 10/12/2025 16:16

youalright · 10/12/2025 16:03

Take the time of and look for another job. Your job isn't going to be magically better after taking time of it will most likely be worse.

For various reasons I really don't want to leave the company. I have an extraordinary good pension. Leaving would be a last resort.

OP posts:
ManagementStress · 10/12/2025 16:17

loveawineloveacrisp · 10/12/2025 15:56

It sounds like you don't have the appropriate workload for someone who only works 3 days. Could you maybe increase to 4? Appreciate you didn't want to go full time.

This might be something to consider, I have been thinking about it. Although it wouldn't be ideal.

OP posts:
ManagementStress · 10/12/2025 16:25

MsWilmottsGhost · 10/12/2025 16:13

My experience as a fellow part timer is that managers often overestimate the amount of work that fits in the reduced hours and you end up doing a full time job for part time pay 🙄

I was where you are last year, and as I'm disabled I raised it as during a reasonable adjustments review, which certainly got the ball rolling. Though sometimes I think it would have been better for me to have got signed off sick, the review gave me loads of work to do! Thankfully things have improved since then.

If you have any kind of review coming up maybe you could raise workload issues at that?

In my case it did mean giving a very firm NO to some tasks, and my manager wasn't really used to hearing that from me, it came as a bit of a shock.

Part time is hard generally I think for the reasons you describe. It was an adjustment when I first went p/t (almost a decade ago) and suddenly had to start saying "No" and having firm boundaries. But it was easier when I didn't manage people and wasn't a "senior" member of the team.

When my current manager took me on for this role, they were well aware of my working pattern, we discussed it at length and they were supportive. However as time has gone on I feel they are starting to find it more of an inconvenience.

We have performance review period coming up, so that could be the right opportunity to get into this and discuss my longer term career and the fact I would like to be supported in looking for a more suitable role in the business.

OP posts:
MsWilmottsGhost · 10/12/2025 17:59

I hope you find a solution. If the review isn't for a while make sure you look after yourself Flowers

ManagementStress · 10/12/2025 18:27

Thank you. ❤

OP posts:
Pippielk · 10/12/2025 23:00

I feel your pain op. I too am overwhelmed at work - jumping from one task to another and never feeling like you achieve anything but are worn out come the end of the week.
I talked to employee assistance through work - I’m still in the same situation but ultimately they helped me understand that the role is not right for me. I’m looking to leave as have no loyalty to the company or good pension like you.
I saw a post on Facebook - where it mentioned you still get same pay check for doing 80% of the work…..I’m trying to think of that the odd time and let things wait/build up & do the work for those who shout the loudest.

I thought feel like you often - fluctuate between taking sick leave or limping to holidays. If I take sick leave I won’t be able to face going back….but it might be worthwhile for you to get things rolling with your employer and occupational health considering you want to remain there.

Viviennemary · 10/12/2025 23:05

loveawineloveacrisp · 10/12/2025 15:56

It sounds like you don't have the appropriate workload for someone who only works 3 days. Could you maybe increase to 4? Appreciate you didn't want to go full time.

I agree. Because it sounds like the workload in your job is far too heavy for somebody to manage on three days a week. Could you talk either to HR or your boss. Sounds like its the job and not you.

Tollington · 10/12/2025 23:46

I think you need to speak to your manager and then if nothing improves or changes go to see your GP

I was really suprised when you described your job and then quite far in to the post you said that you’re p/t! It didn’t sound like a p/t job

I was signed off through stress and anxiety this time last year. I was off work for four weeks and then returned on reduced hours for four weeks. I’m also taking Setraline and going for a walk at lunchtime which helps me detach

Your MH has to come before your job. I was in a very dark place twelve months ago. I always struggle at this time of year as I have SAD. Luckily my manager was let go in Spring, he was a huge part of my problems and now work is a much nicer place

If you need time away then see the GP and get signed off. Don’t worry about what other’s may think. Stress and anxiety is horrible. I couldn’t sleep. Try and make a plan as you can’t go on like this. Look after number one

DarkForces · 10/12/2025 23:52

Ive gone from part time to full time and been surprised that it's less stressful. I miss my days off but part time is less money, more stress and there's no time to catch up if you have an off day. I can pace my week much better now I'm full time and pick the days I have the most energy for the tricky stuff.

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