3 full days or 5 half days? - any thoughts?

[rachelgreen]

I've been back at work 6 months, working 3 full days. DS is in nursery for those 3 days. At the moment I'm starting to feel as if I'm not doing very well on either camp - at work I feel like I'm trying to cram a full time job into 3 days, at home, I'm trying to cram in house work and keeping DS occupied in 2 days, and yet another 2 different days on the weekend with DH home too.

I'm starting to wonder if i might be better off doing 5 mornings a week instead, so that both me and DS might start to feel like there was more of a pattern to the week, and then I'd have all afternoon with him, - also, he's 16 months and happy to play whilst i do a job or two, so I could spread the housework over 5 days instead of trying to cram it into 2 (in theory anyway - never my strong point housework, so it might not happen that way ). It would also mean I could get tea ready for a decent hour when DH gets home and we could all 3 of us eat together.

Also, DS is used to all the bustle of nursery now, so whilst i hate to admit it, I sometimes think he gets bored of just me if I don't manage to get us out to see people on our days at home, so if he's at nursery in the mornings, he's had company of other babies.

We don't have a strict routine, but on the 2 days I'm off with DS we do things roughly in the same order, which is a pattern that has evolved since being back at work and seeing him fall into a similar pattern at nursery. Now that he's walking, he'll go into the toddler room at nursery, and they totally change his routine now, basically swapping nap and lunch around, so his food is an hour earlier and his nap an hour later. - There's no way at home I can keep him awake until 12.30, so he'd have a different routine and they also give them tea at 3pm, so I'd be having to feed him myself again at tea time anyway.

Just wondering if anybody has been through a similar decision to this? I don't want to end up feeling like I'm working full-time and would be interested to hear if anybody works 5 half days and how they find it, TIA.

5 half days will be better in the long run when your DS is at school because you will be at work while he is at school.
But you will have five days of getting out of the house for a deadline.

Can't really help, but I gave up a full time job for a 2 full days a week job once ds turned 2, because I didn't want him to have to go to nursery every day. I love the fact that I don't work Mondays (so Sunday evenings don't have that flat feeling) and that by the end of Wednesday, it's over for another week.

Have you considered the extra cost of travelling - you'll have to travel to work / nursery 5 times a week instead of 3 - how will your income change if you change to 5 mornings?

Three full days is much better while they're pre-school age. That way, you can go out for a full day, or away for a long weekend if you pick your days right, without having to take any holiday. It's also better for coping with childhood illness as, if your childcare is flexible, you could just work a different day to make it up.

Also, you should not be cramming a fulltime job into three days a week. If you have chosen to go back fulltime, then they should be reducing your workload or employing a jobshare person to cover the other two days.

I have the same pattern as you at the moment - 3 full days at work. DS has just turned two and funnily enough, a few months ago I was wondering about doing 5 half days for the same reasons you have put forward - however it wouldn't work for me (I found I can't do the same number of hours at work and manage to pick up ds by 1pm every day, which is the end of the morning session).

As time has gone on I have found I appreciate the fact that Wed evening means the end of the working week, and I get out and about a lot more with ds on the other days now - wouldn't be able to go so far afield on trips out if it were afternoons only with him. I think I would end up just doing housework/cooking every pm.

Should have mentioned I used to do 2.5 days (2 full days and a half day) - the half day was a nightmare, I really did try to cram a full days work into a morning - total nightmare. Also I hated handing over half way through the day - never seemed to complete anything on that day. You really do need a very compatible job-share partner if you do half days or it is very hard (assuming you job share..)

thanks all, - income wouldn't really change as i only live 10mins away from work, but there would be a slight increase in nursery costs.

yes, perhaps the first port of call should be to sit down with my manager and discuss the other elements of my role - it's a new job since returning from mat leave and the chap I've replaced did do 5 days.

perhaps I just need to make more of my 2 days off, but gradually work towards DS having meal and nap times closer to the new ones in nursery eventually.

thanks

Just remembered something else - sorry, my kids are at school now, so I've got to drag it out of the memory banks! You need to make sure your nursery will accept your hours if you do five mornings. Most nurseries will have a magic time (e.g. 1pm) after which they will charge you for the whole day anyway. This is because their afternoon session runs from 1pm to 5pm (or whatever) and they cannot fill it if your child is still there. I had this problem when I accepted a job with hours of 9am to 1pm each day. I had to change my hours to 8.30 to 12.30pm because I had to collect ds before 1pm or face being charged for the full day.

the nursery is actually fairly flexible about timings - it's up to 1.30 for a half day, or up to 3.30 for a 3/4 day, so that's not so much of a problem, but it is about £10 more expensive having the half days.

thanks so much for all the replies. lots of think about, but I'm already edging towards not changing.

3 full days