I need to Just Get Out of Here Don't I?

[crunchybiscuitandtea]

Still Fizzing from the latest this morning when boss basically gas lit me that they had never seen a document before, and that I had despite being asked numerous times not shared it with them! this was despite my protestations of "I did and we made changes before forwarding to the Board" we ended with them saying "Too busy to discuss and I have not seen this document when I am back from holiday we need to look at a better way forward"

I sent them an email headed "FYI Emails Regarding Review of Documents and Actions from the September meetings and responses" along with 21 attachments of the emails that I had sent them, their responses, confirmations to them of changes made, emails to the Meeting Chair's which they were copied into and emails to people with Actions which they were again copied into as well as their own actions.

My DH stopped me from adding and here is 3 months notice as its not my fault you can't deal with pressure or manage your inbox.

Its not the first time we have had "I haven't had this" and I have have forwarded on something I sent weeks ago but this is the first time we have had sheer objectionable rudeness.

I have been in this role for 6 months and realise it was a mistake it but fear my CV will look like hell with such a short tenure
arrrrrrrrrgh

What a wanker OP. Book a meeting with him and spell it out to him. He can’t blame you for his own incompetency. Ask him what you can do better for him. Read his emails out to him🤣🤣

People don't leave companies, they leave managers.

Mine is out of his depth and tries to blame me too, but then what could I possibly know as a middle aged woman with reams of qualifications?!

Sadly I am sad to say this is a woman

Yep middle aged woman here with over 30 years experience in the sector and used to working at a much higher level (took this job as a start to step back to retiring) big mistake, huge.
I think it was the sheer attempt at gas lighting that got me, no response to my email and the 21 attachments 😉

Agree with them you need a better way forward as they are obviously not able to keep up with their inbox and what would work for them? A regular meeting with minutes witnessed by other people? A daily break down of what you are waiting for? Or you to keep emailing them and storing all the emails they appear to lose? Play them at their own game but get people above them involved as necessary

Can you go to HR? I feel like the threat of ‘we need to find a better way forward’ implies he’s going to discipline you or punish you in some way.

He’s a complete prick and hopefully he goes so you don’t have to.

I’d ignore the rudeness and try an empathetic meeting, worrying if she’s under a lot of stress, because she seems to be struggling with memory quite a bit recently.

IE very very clearly that you’re right and she is wrong, but done supportively. If she disagrees with facts, say to her, in a very gentle sympathetic voice “I think that you’re struggling to remember this”. If she gets cross with you or rude I’d say “I understand this is an emotive subject, but I think it’s important for your health that you understand that this is something that you’ve forgotten”.

The benefit of this approach is that next time she does it you can go for “actually, this is like last time, when you forgot that you had seen that document. Do you remember?” And it’s work-acceptable enough that you can use it in front of people or in board meetings because it’s completely non combative.

If she’s being a dick, it’ll stop the behaviour. If she is genuinely forgetting it’ll prompt her to check before sending you shitty messages.

Omg I was so expecting that to be a man! My bad, well the same advice applies.