Drunk kiss with older coworker — should I bring it up or let it go? (20s F, 40s F)

YourCosyPino · 2025-11-26T21:53:04+00:00

Last week something happened that I can’t stop thinking about, and I’d love some outside perspectives. I (20s F) have become close friends with a coworker (40s F, single). We get along incredibly well — we’ve traveled together, go out for drinks, party together, all very fun and friendly. At a colleague’s leaving party on Friday, we both got ^very^ drunk. We ended up being the last two in our group, went to another bar, danced, hugged, the usual drunk friendliness… but then things escalated. While we were dancing, she hugged me from behind and kissed my cheek for the first time. Then she was touching my waist/arms and kissed my neck. I didn’t pull away, and honestly didn’t feel uncomfortable in the moment. I ended up hugging her from behind as well, kissing her neck, shoulder and lips then, we full-on made out for about 10 minutes before heading home separately. She was heavily drunk, I was heavily drunk, and at the time it all just felt like part of the fun night. Now she’s away this week, and the more I think about it, the more ^embarrassed^ and unsure I feel. I don’t regret it exactly, but I didn’t see it coming, and I don’t know if I should acknowledge it when she’s back or just act normal and move on. Would appreciate any thoughts!

Sillysoggyspaniel · 26/11/2025 21:57

Nope. I wouldn't mention it. I'd be breezy and confident and carry on without any embarrassment. If it becomes a regular thing then I'd ask what was going on.

QPZM · 26/11/2025 21:59

My thoughts are that the pair of you should drink less alcohol.

As for the kiss, you'd be less confused had you both been sober.

SkaneTos · 26/11/2025 21:59

Do you want to be in a relationship with her?

Is she your boss?

Soonenough · 26/11/2025 22:02

Are you gay and want a relationship? Otherwise wait and see what she says . Both could dismiss it as drunken antics or could develop into something more . If you are both single why not ? Sounds like you really enjoy each other's company and now there is physical attraction.

Only problem would be if there is an issue with your work situation like if one of you were manager .

Original poster

YourCosyPino · 26/11/2025 22:23

No, she is not my boss

OP posts:

Original poster

YourCosyPino · 26/11/2025 22:25

SkaneTos · 26/11/2025 21:59

Do you want to be in a relationship with her?

Is she your boss?

No, she is not my boss.
Just co-worker working in the different team.

OP posts:

Original poster

YourCosyPino · 26/11/2025 22:26

Soonenough · 26/11/2025 22:02

Are you gay and want a relationship? Otherwise wait and see what she says . Both could dismiss it as drunken antics or could develop into something more . If you are both single why not ? Sounds like you really enjoy each other's company and now there is physical attraction.

Only problem would be if there is an issue with your work situation like if one of you were manager .

Nope. Straight single.
I have not had a kiss with any other woman before so, it was my first time.

OP posts:

SconehengeRevenge · 26/11/2025 22:33

If every detail of this post was the same except the female older person was male, you'd get very different responses on here.

Given the 20 yr age gap, this is an abuse of power.
You've been sexually assaulted and this is not ok.
Regardless of whether you enjoyed it, and regardless of whether this is a side of yourself you might want to explore, this is sexual assault, and my advice is you treat it as this

Brentinger · 26/11/2025 22:36

You have two options: either ignore it or work out if you want it to go further. She may bring it up too.
Drunken kisses happen - and no, it's not sexual assault unless it was against your will but sounds like you reciprocated?

Sometimeswinning · 26/11/2025 22:41

SconehengeRevenge · 26/11/2025 22:33

If every detail of this post was the same except the female older person was male, you'd get very different responses on here.

Given the 20 yr age gap, this is an abuse of power.
You've been sexually assaulted and this is not ok.
Regardless of whether you enjoyed it, and regardless of whether this is a side of yourself you might want to explore, this is sexual assault, and my advice is you treat it as this

Edited

How is it sexual assault? She’s 20 not 12. Don’t be silly.

LiveToTell · 26/11/2025 22:45

SconehengeRevenge · 26/11/2025 22:33

If every detail of this post was the same except the female older person was male, you'd get very different responses on here.

Given the 20 yr age gap, this is an abuse of power.
You've been sexually assaulted and this is not ok.
Regardless of whether you enjoyed it, and regardless of whether this is a side of yourself you might want to explore, this is sexual assault, and my advice is you treat it as this

Edited

No it’s not. An age gap doesn’t mean you’ve been assaulted.

Original poster

YourCosyPino · 26/11/2025 22:50

Brentinger · 26/11/2025 22:36

You have two options: either ignore it or work out if you want it to go further. She may bring it up too.
Drunken kisses happen - and no, it's not sexual assault unless it was against your will but sounds like you reciprocated?

yep, that is right.
I kissed her back before making out each other.

OP posts:

Original poster

YourCosyPino · 26/11/2025 22:50

SconehengeRevenge · 26/11/2025 22:33

If every detail of this post was the same except the female older person was male, you'd get very different responses on here.

Given the 20 yr age gap, this is an abuse of power.
You've been sexually assaulted and this is not ok.
Regardless of whether you enjoyed it, and regardless of whether this is a side of yourself you might want to explore, this is sexual assault, and my advice is you treat it as this

Edited

I don't see it as assault.

OP posts:

trainkeepsgoing · 26/11/2025 22:56

SconehengeRevenge · 26/11/2025 22:33

If every detail of this post was the same except the female older person was male, you'd get very different responses on here.

Given the 20 yr age gap, this is an abuse of power.
You've been sexually assaulted and this is not ok.
Regardless of whether you enjoyed it, and regardless of whether this is a side of yourself you might want to explore, this is sexual assault, and my advice is you treat it as this

Edited

Can’t see any evidence in the post to suggest assault

ShakyWakey · 26/11/2025 23:02

SconehengeRevenge · 26/11/2025 22:33

If every detail of this post was the same except the female older person was male, you'd get very different responses on here.

Given the 20 yr age gap, this is an abuse of power.
You've been sexually assaulted and this is not ok.
Regardless of whether you enjoyed it, and regardless of whether this is a side of yourself you might want to explore, this is sexual assault, and my advice is you treat it as this

Edited

What on earth!

RubyMentor · 27/11/2025 00:14

SconehengeRevenge · 26/11/2025 22:33

If every detail of this post was the same except the female older person was male, you'd get very different responses on here.

Given the 20 yr age gap, this is an abuse of power.
You've been sexually assaulted and this is not ok.
Regardless of whether you enjoyed it, and regardless of whether this is a side of yourself you might want to explore, this is sexual assault, and my advice is you treat it as this

Edited

FFS piss off it wasn’t her manager

IndigoIsMyFavouriteColour · 27/11/2025 00:17

I don’t think this was assault(!) I would ignore the entire thing unless she brings it up first. You were both very drunk, things happen, try not to over think it.

Sillysoggyspaniel · 27/11/2025 12:37

Of course it wasn't assault 😂 how utterly ridiculous @SconehengeRevenge . It was a drunken kiss between two consenting adults.

ErlingHaalandsManBun · 27/11/2025 12:44

SconehengeRevenge · 26/11/2025 22:33

If every detail of this post was the same except the female older person was male, you'd get very different responses on here.

Given the 20 yr age gap, this is an abuse of power.
You've been sexually assaulted and this is not ok.
Regardless of whether you enjoyed it, and regardless of whether this is a side of yourself you might want to explore, this is sexual assault, and my advice is you treat it as this

Edited

Oh give over.

She made a move which was positively received by the OP and they made out. It was fully consensual. Not everything has to be assault.

I take it you have never in your life had a drunken snog before 🙄

BretonStripe · 27/11/2025 19:22

SconehengeRevenge · 26/11/2025 22:33

If every detail of this post was the same except the female older person was male, you'd get very different responses on here.

Given the 20 yr age gap, this is an abuse of power.
You've been sexually assaulted and this is not ok.
Regardless of whether you enjoyed it, and regardless of whether this is a side of yourself you might want to explore, this is sexual assault, and my advice is you treat it as this

Edited

How ridiculous! And it says "20s" and "40s" so OP could be 29 and co-worker 41, so only a 12yr age gap. Though personally I wouldn't find it a problem if OP was early 20s and co-worker late 40s. Healthy age gap relationships exist you know.

OP I'd just forget all about it...and drink a lot less when with her. Unless you've developed feelings for her, in which case a (sober) conversation needs to be had...

SconehengeRevenge · 27/11/2025 22:35

Omg, I've rarely been so hated on a thread! 🤣

Sorry, everyone, but I stand by my comment.

And, yes, i have done inappropriate snogging myself.

However much OP was fine with it (and fab for op), I still think this is a sexual assault. And I hate the age imbalance.
And I've been married to my DH for 30 years and we have a massive age gap.

I still find it wrong, and I think everyone lambasting me is missing something.

#OwnIt

CarterBeatsTheDevil · 27/11/2025 23:15

SconehengeRevenge · 27/11/2025 22:35

Omg, I've rarely been so hated on a thread! 🤣

Sorry, everyone, but I stand by my comment.

And, yes, i have done inappropriate snogging myself.

However much OP was fine with it (and fab for op), I still think this is a sexual assault. And I hate the age imbalance.
And I've been married to my DH for 30 years and we have a massive age gap.

I still find it wrong, and I think everyone lambasting me is missing something.

#OwnIt

OP's of age and consenting. There is no assault. You just disapprove.

BreakfastClubBlues · 27/11/2025 23:27

SconehengeRevenge · 27/11/2025 22:35

Omg, I've rarely been so hated on a thread! 🤣

Sorry, everyone, but I stand by my comment.

And, yes, i have done inappropriate snogging myself.

However much OP was fine with it (and fab for op), I still think this is a sexual assault. And I hate the age imbalance.
And I've been married to my DH for 30 years and we have a massive age gap.

I still find it wrong, and I think everyone lambasting me is missing something.

#OwnIt

I don't understand why you think it's assault?

Are you saying that willingly kissing someone older than you is illegal?

Just because you don't agree with the age gap doesn't make it a crime.

Puskiesauce · 29/11/2025 11:13

You're both single, enjoy each other's company, are attracted to each other and have built up a good friendship.

So now it's either keep things as is if you don't want a repeat, or see if it happens again if you both do.

BillieWiper · 29/11/2025 11:17

It depends if you want to do it again or not. Obviously if not I'd just not mention it. There's no need to be embarrassed either way.

Don't let it spoil your friendship.