Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Work

Chat with other users about all things related to working life on our Work forum.

Do I stay or do I go?

9 replies

gingerandpeppermint · 23/11/2025 11:26

I'm 32 years old. Unmarried and childless, was formally aiming toward a career in music but moved to London in 2022 which meant long work hours. I love London and dont want to leave (im from the outskirts 1hr away).

I took a job on in Jan 2023 which I thought would last for 5mins. I'd previously lost jobs months earlier due to having kidney issues which are unfortunately still ongoing. However, somehow out of sheer willpower and determination not to lose the job, I have been at the 2023 job for almost 3 years with only 2 sick days. I bonded with my team so closely as we sometimes spent 40hrs a week together. Ultimately i lost my desire to do music and my outside social life and, if I'm honest my mental stability ; The job is mostly telephony with up to 50 plus calls and administrative duties with shifts finishing as late as 7:30pm and we work every two Saturdays up until 6pm. Glassdoor reviews stated the workplace was highly toxic with unfair dismissal and no mental wellbeing support. Im unsure if ive got low standards or extreme patience but I found my managers mostly understanding and empathetic and feel I built a good relationship with my main manager. I was given a very good bonus due to attendance, adherence & ethic this year but unfortunately as of June 2025 things got weird.

The company loses staff frequently due to its lack of wellbeing support, average pay and hours. As a repercussion of this, one week in the summer I was kindly asked to take on another departments work. This meant more stress and more calls but I was informed this temporary. Slowly they put this extra workload on me consistently and, to my horror I began having panic attacks 3 months ago due to mental & physical atrain on my voice and respiratory system.
My manager, though still nice, became less empathetic, not wanting to know if we had to get a doctors appointment, needed a day off etc. Her sister is the "big boss" of our department and, unfortunately, is stone cold with me upon our encounters. Im unsure why this is as we never have any exchanges but other staff believe its a power struggle.

Aside from this, the scheduling department are completely incompetent and, upon requesting just 3 days holiday over Christmas I have been given one chosen day only to be working all new years. I dont want to take it personally but I feel I'm getting barely any leeway for the unnecessary work I'm putting in.

I have been applying to jobs for the last month, not quite out of desperation but instinctively knowing I cant keep on like this.
I had a call 4 days ago from one of the roles I applied for which, though seems more complex is a set 9-5 with no weekends and bank holidays. The pay is higher also. It was a very last minute interview and I just happened to be off that day so went for it slightly underprepared.
I wasnt feeling well on the day of the interview and expected a definite rejection but just one hour after I received a job offer from them. I accepted it but haven't signed their contract/s.

It may seem like a no brainer but I have felt so secure in my role since 2023 and KNOW I'm good at it. I know I'm trusted with responsibilities within my team and, quite honestly as someone with extreme social anxiety, I love the people I work with and feel so supported by them. Its a bit of a "if it ain't broke dont fix it" but quite frankly, I feel my future here is starting to shatter.

If my health issues start up, I fear I'll be dismissed like the last place I worked for.
I'm scared I cant do the job. Im scared I won't be liked. I'm scared I'll regret leaving....

If anyone has ever had to make this decision before, how did you get the courage to walk away?⁷

OP posts:
rose69 · 23/11/2025 11:31

your health comes first. Your present post is taking advantage of you. Accept the new job and think what you can do to mentally prepare for the change. Any change is hard but it will be better in the long run.

JassyRadlett · 23/11/2025 11:31

Ok here's what you know: It is broke. It needs fixing.

This job is intense and burning you out mentally and physically. They've demonstrated they don't care about staff wellbeing, so you know that if/when you do get ill, you're screwed.

I think you underestimate yourself. You've been offered a lifeline in a really crappy job market - that indicates that you're probably better than you give yourself credit for.

WeightLossGoal2024 · 24/11/2025 03:24

Leave and take the new role. Your health is so important and you are under appreciated as Huygens in a toxic environment. Consider annual leave or even some sick days and support from your GP to help with your mental health before you start the new role.

congratulations

FictionalCharacter · 24/11/2025 03:39

Grab the new role with both hands!

ByQuaintAzureWasp · 24/11/2025 03:57

Go

Bestmoonlove · 24/11/2025 08:20

Move on; you need to face your fears, change your mindset to a more positive one. Practice mindfulness; time to improve your life. You don’t want to move out of your comfort zone.

strongermummy · 24/11/2025 08:25

Go. Grab it with both hands.
better to go somewhere that might be better than where you. Otherwise you’ll end up sick and then it will be harder to find a new role.

haveaword · 24/11/2025 08:31

You’ve proved you can keep a stable job and develop those relationships and you CAN do it again and in BETTER conditions by the sounds of it

Don’t stay there you will get ill/worse and me utterly miserable

Back yourself and put you first

Jellycatspyjamas · 24/11/2025 08:33

If you make the move and don’t like it you can always find something else. In some ways a new job is a big move, but in other ways it really isn’t - you’re clearly employable so if it doesn’t work out someone else will employ you. It’s easy to stay in something that feels familiar, even when it’s objectively not good but there are other opportunities out there so go and see how you get on.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page