I'm 32 years old. Unmarried and childless, was formally aiming toward a career in music but moved to London in 2022 which meant long work hours. I love London and dont want to leave (im from the outskirts 1hr away).
I took a job on in Jan 2023 which I thought would last for 5mins. I'd previously lost jobs months earlier due to having kidney issues which are unfortunately still ongoing. However, somehow out of sheer willpower and determination not to lose the job, I have been at the 2023 job for almost 3 years with only 2 sick days. I bonded with my team so closely as we sometimes spent 40hrs a week together. Ultimately i lost my desire to do music and my outside social life and, if I'm honest my mental stability ; The job is mostly telephony with up to 50 plus calls and administrative duties with shifts finishing as late as 7:30pm and we work every two Saturdays up until 6pm. Glassdoor reviews stated the workplace was highly toxic with unfair dismissal and no mental wellbeing support. Im unsure if ive got low standards or extreme patience but I found my managers mostly understanding and empathetic and feel I built a good relationship with my main manager. I was given a very good bonus due to attendance, adherence & ethic this year but unfortunately as of June 2025 things got weird.
The company loses staff frequently due to its lack of wellbeing support, average pay and hours. As a repercussion of this, one week in the summer I was kindly asked to take on another departments work. This meant more stress and more calls but I was informed this temporary. Slowly they put this extra workload on me consistently and, to my horror I began having panic attacks 3 months ago due to mental & physical atrain on my voice and respiratory system.
My manager, though still nice, became less empathetic, not wanting to know if we had to get a doctors appointment, needed a day off etc. Her sister is the "big boss" of our department and, unfortunately, is stone cold with me upon our encounters. Im unsure why this is as we never have any exchanges but other staff believe its a power struggle.
Aside from this, the scheduling department are completely incompetent and, upon requesting just 3 days holiday over Christmas I have been given one chosen day only to be working all new years. I dont want to take it personally but I feel I'm getting barely any leeway for the unnecessary work I'm putting in.
I have been applying to jobs for the last month, not quite out of desperation but instinctively knowing I cant keep on like this.
I had a call 4 days ago from one of the roles I applied for which, though seems more complex is a set 9-5 with no weekends and bank holidays. The pay is higher also. It was a very last minute interview and I just happened to be off that day so went for it slightly underprepared.
I wasnt feeling well on the day of the interview and expected a definite rejection but just one hour after I received a job offer from them. I accepted it but haven't signed their contract/s.
It may seem like a no brainer but I have felt so secure in my role since 2023 and KNOW I'm good at it. I know I'm trusted with responsibilities within my team and, quite honestly as someone with extreme social anxiety, I love the people I work with and feel so supported by them. Its a bit of a "if it ain't broke dont fix it" but quite frankly, I feel my future here is starting to shatter.
If my health issues start up, I fear I'll be dismissed like the last place I worked for.
I'm scared I cant do the job. Im scared I won't be liked. I'm scared I'll regret leaving....
If anyone has ever had to make this decision before, how did you get the courage to walk away?⁷