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Look for another grad job or deal with a dysfunctional team?

38 replies

Sadrice · 20/11/2025 09:44

Ds is very stressed at work...he's just started training in one of the big four in Audit. He's finding his team very difficult. He has a good people manager who has been supportive but the team/project he is working on is separate to his people manager. The project is 4 months behind and his team are stressed, snappy, don't have time to answer questions, train him etc. They are blaming him for missing deadlines and being slow when no one would explain to him what to do, no one shows up in the office but he has been told he has to go in every day and every day he sits in the office alone.
He's probably only worked 4 full weeks the rest of the time has been in college.

He's working all his spare hours after work on his exams and is doing well with them. But his "in work" days are brutal - he was crying last night at the way two of team spoke to him.
He has so little experience in dealing with this kind of situation - his confidence is starting to crumble - I'm not really sure what to advise but he's not having a great big 4 experience, he's trying to hang in there in the hope he'll move projects - I think that's unlikely given the project is so behind.

Can anyone help me advise him?

OP posts:
Biggles27 · 22/11/2025 09:47

Dd is starting year 3 as an audit grad trainee. She’s studying with bpp. It’s brutal - she’s done all 14 exams - just waiting for results of final exam. Long hours, study and pass the exams or lose your job. Pay is excellent but they expect their money’s worth. No time off, holiday used for study, on top of study leave. Studying all evening, weekends

I think that you just need to be there for him. It’s tough - really tough and not for everyone. He needs to speak up for himself

on top of being expected to work on audits, and study like mad, they’re expected to do extra curricular things like arrange social events, sustainability projects etc

Is it right - no but is it the way it is, yes

Summertimegladness · 22/11/2025 12:32

Sadrice · 20/11/2025 09:44

Ds is very stressed at work...he's just started training in one of the big four in Audit. He's finding his team very difficult. He has a good people manager who has been supportive but the team/project he is working on is separate to his people manager. The project is 4 months behind and his team are stressed, snappy, don't have time to answer questions, train him etc. They are blaming him for missing deadlines and being slow when no one would explain to him what to do, no one shows up in the office but he has been told he has to go in every day and every day he sits in the office alone.
He's probably only worked 4 full weeks the rest of the time has been in college.

He's working all his spare hours after work on his exams and is doing well with them. But his "in work" days are brutal - he was crying last night at the way two of team spoke to him.
He has so little experience in dealing with this kind of situation - his confidence is starting to crumble - I'm not really sure what to advise but he's not having a great big 4 experience, he's trying to hang in there in the hope he'll move projects - I think that's unlikely given the project is so behind.

Can anyone help me advise him?

Hi, I trained with one of the Big Four…it sounds like his managers are not following the companies “values” and he could have a word with his mentor (if they’re still doing that!) Equally, if he can just get through at least the first year, get some exams under his belt, he could always transfer before his contract ends. It is good to have them on his CV. Audit itself is brutal and (IMO) a boring and necessary evil to get to do something more interesting in Finance, Like FP&A 😊.

Also bear in mind that the projects are generally quite short and he’ll be passed around from team to team. I hated it, if I’m honest, but have no regrets as I’m now a head of, working remotely as much as I like and earning a very decent 6 figure salary. Hope it all works out for him!

Logistria · 22/11/2025 18:47

That kind of is the Big 4 experience and that's not a secret so I am not sure what he thought it would be like unless he took their marketing spin at face value? If he did then that's an important lesson for the future. Otherwise, lots of this sounds like the normal shock of entering the workplace and it is probably helpful for him to keep that in mind. This stage was never going to be easy or as comfortable as the recruitment fairs or internships painted it to be.

If this is audit testing, is there not the previous year's file for him to refer to? Some of the lack of training is likely because they are expecting him to use that as his guide. That's totally normal and workplace training in practice does mean being chucked in at the deep end and being expected to take a decent run at the work and learn by doing. Even in a smaller firm he would still be given a file and expected to use last year's as his reference without hand holding all the way through every task. He doesn't need to fully understand every aspect of what he is doing - nobody does at this stage - he just needs to put his head down and get it done. Treat it like a puzzle.

I don't really understand your explanation of why he thought he couldn't do the testing that he was tasked with. It sounds like he could, he just needed to extend the sample. If so, he would be better to crack on with things rather than meekly waiting for assistance or trying to argue the toss about errors he thinks there are (even though he is saying he doesn't fully understand what he's looking at? That would rile people up). He only has 4 weeks experience and his contribution to the team at this stage is to churn through things.

That doesn't mean it's ok for people to be unpleasant or impolite but it does sound like his expectations are unrealistic and he is putting pressure on himself to be perfect or to understand more than is realistic, as well as being quite sensitive. I also think he is taking the comments about work life balance too literally. If he doesn't hit his client deliverables he will be cut.

He does need to tough it out longer than this. The value of big 4 on his CV will be more about his ability to tough out that environment and build a network, so it will raise concerns in potential employers if he quit so soon.

Parts of training are crap, but as others have said he needs to focus on the end goal rather than getting bogged down in minutiae about a stressed person snapping at him. Keep it in perspective and give it more time. It's not worth packing in a training contract over one crap assignment.

If he was training at a smaller firm, he wouldn't get the extended stretches at college studying and he wouldn't be on a single client for a protracted stretch - college would be broken up into smaller blocks (with people from other firms ) and he would be managing a larger number of client assignments around college. Not necessarily better or worse, but different pressures. My point being that the first year of a training contract is always a steep learning curve and can be a big adjustment, even in more forgiving workplaces than the Big 4.

lizzyBennet08 · 23/11/2025 10:29

Honestly this is pretty typical of the big 4, loads of perks and great on your cv if you can stick it out but they do absolutely expect their pound of flesh.
Regardless of what the official policy might say , the culture is pretty brutal and the preference with first years in particular is that they plough though grunt work ( knowing that there will be errors) rather than someone being paralysed waiting for feedback or instruction to get work 100% correct and being very slow. he would absolutely be expected to spend Christmas studying

Bluntly if first year students are talking about 'work life balance' then the big 4 probably isn't for them. I think I'd encourage him to look elsewhere .

Oblomov25 · 23/11/2025 10:59

Hmm. Lots to address here.

  1. Big 4 isn't for everyone, but even in any team, in any business, do not unique to big 4, one has to learn some coping strategies, as this really is important. Growing a thicker skin and dealing with the job in hand is importantly, ignoring the personal, but at The same time setting strong personal boundaries for how much you will tolerate and what you won't.

2)Talking to his Manager, getting it recorded as to a filtered version of how he feels, so it's documented, and support need to be offered.

  1. I'm puzzled by all the comments re auditing that show no basic level of understanding.

Auditing is very simple. You pick a sample, if there is a problem, further testing will be required. No audit test is 'pointless' , in fact he should be pleased he's found an issue, it's rare, change perspective!

The whole viewpoint of him taking too long and others have the skills to skim is worth discussing with manager.

Hmm. The exasperation from others could actually be an issue. He's not at the sane level others are, why?
Although, He does indeed need to work on standing up for himself, and explaining why his actions are justified.

Ds1 had a very tough manager on one placement but just rode the storm. Tell him to hang on in there, this will so be worth it in the end.

Sadrice · 26/11/2025 18:43

Quick update: he's had a better week - he spoke to his line manager, who had a chat with his team and he seems to have worked some magic. The team have been back in the office, some of them hadn't realised he was completely new, they are responding to his questions and he even got compliment on his work today.
He has much to learn both in terms of audit and toughening up but his easy smile, his energy and his sense of humour have returned and he's up for the challenge again.
Thanks again everyone - even the tough love crew! We needed the hive mind to work through the dip.

OP posts:
ScaryM0nster · 26/11/2025 18:54

Realistically - Big 4 grad schemes are a big deal because they offer massive opportunities to learn and progress fast.

Downside being they are very demanding on people.

As another angle to help get through the dips - aim to get a relationship of some kind with someone a few years ahead, and use them for introductions to expand his own network.
Use employee assistance program when needed as a sounding board / somewhere to vent.

Schedule time rigorously.

24 hours in a day. Work 8, sleep 8, still leaves 8 to do other stuff with plus two 24 hour days at weekend.
Work 10, study 3, commute 2, sleep 7 and there's still 2 left.
There’s more there to work with than people tend to think. Just a huge amount of time disappears without that structure. To work through these schemes he’s going to need to plan time use properly.

Logistria · 26/11/2025 19:01

That's good to hear, hopefully he'll get into his stride now.

Newmoonday · 26/11/2025 19:47

Sadrice · 26/11/2025 18:43

Quick update: he's had a better week - he spoke to his line manager, who had a chat with his team and he seems to have worked some magic. The team have been back in the office, some of them hadn't realised he was completely new, they are responding to his questions and he even got compliment on his work today.
He has much to learn both in terms of audit and toughening up but his easy smile, his energy and his sense of humour have returned and he's up for the challenge again.
Thanks again everyone - even the tough love crew! We needed the hive mind to work through the dip.

Glad to hear. So much politics in these big 4s and disorganisation too. But is all part of the experience,

I also had to speak to my people leader in various occasions when my partner was being unreasonable. I lasted 4 years as Manager; ended in burnout due to politics and unfairness. Not everything was bad and I enjoyed the first two years mostly but wished I would have got out earlier.

Good luck to your son learning to navigate all the corporate stuff

Comtesse · 27/11/2025 12:49

Glad it’s settling down. It’s just one project - ride it out and say “it’s just a phase” to yourself 100 times a day. It won’t all be like this.

Schoolchoicesucks · 27/11/2025 13:50

HundredMilesAnHour · 21/11/2025 22:30

I’ll try and say this gently @Sadrice but I find your reply (or rather, the feedback from your DS) a little concerning.

He seems to be prioritising studying for his exams over his actual project work?? If this is what he’s doing, he’s making a horrible mistake. He’s not at uni now. Client / project work comes first, before all else! Not getting his client work done (regardless of reason) doesn’t just impact him. It impacts his team, potentially the client and most importantly the reputation of the firm he’s working for. Reputation comes before everything! This is non-negotiable.

He needs to balance his exam study requirements with his client work rather than the other way round. Yes it’s hard and yes it means he will be working AND studying long hours with very few breaks (if any!) That’s the nature of what he signed up for. If he can’t cope already then maybe this really isn’t the right job for him. The first year is the easiest. Second and third years are much much harder as the exams intensify at the same time as he will be given more responsibility on client work. If he is already struggling, he absolutely should not be taking 2 weeks off over Christmas but he should be using some of this time to study instead.

I appreciate that you may think this sounds harsh but this is the reality of being a grad in Audit in the Big Four. You work long hours (unless you’re lucky) AND you study long hours. You don’t get to pick and choose which you prefer.

I disagree with this. If he fails the exams he may well be out. If he doesn't perform well on a shitshow of a job where the whole team isn't performing that's not on the most junior team member and it's unlikely he wouldn't get given an opportunity to prove himself.

If he's not booked on client projects for those 2 weeks and doesn't have imminent exams he can take the time off.

He should show that he's taking initiative to act on feedback. So speaking up to the level above him or the team manager to say that he needs more guidance on how to do x, y and z and ask how they prefer him to escalate issues that are causing a blocker for him. If he thinks it would help him having other team members sat with him in the office then say that as well.

It's a shitty job and I imagine remote with a shit unsupportive team will be even worse. But he is unlikely to work with exactly the same team again (unless they request him - which seems unlikely!). One of the good things about a Big 4 is the range of people.

Schoolchoicesucks · 27/11/2025 13:51

Sadrice · 26/11/2025 18:43

Quick update: he's had a better week - he spoke to his line manager, who had a chat with his team and he seems to have worked some magic. The team have been back in the office, some of them hadn't realised he was completely new, they are responding to his questions and he even got compliment on his work today.
He has much to learn both in terms of audit and toughening up but his easy smile, his energy and his sense of humour have returned and he's up for the challenge again.
Thanks again everyone - even the tough love crew! We needed the hive mind to work through the dip.

This is good to hear.

Oblomov25 · 27/11/2025 17:42

So glad to read update.

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