Bullying

[PerkyOchrePeer]

I an in a demanding job. I am struggling to cope. I can do the job but not at the pace required so I am being moved into another role which is less demanding. I am OK about this because I am so stressed in my current role im working over ¹0 hours a day just to keep up with the workload and I feel exhausted and tired all the time. I am treated as if I am useless and as if I am not pulling my weight. You might say why did I take this role and when I took it on it wasn't so hectic as it is now and it depends on the managers. Some are stricter than others. I had a very nice understanding manager who left and was replaced by someone who just kept criticising all the time

I need to ask if it's acceptable to belittle someone because I do not accept that in my personal life and steer clear from such people, and shouldn't have to encounter it at work. I think some if the demands put on me are unreasonable and someone said to me just leave but it's easier said than done

My mental and physical well being comes first. I used to socialise in the evening after work or attend evening classes but gave had to stop because I'm always stuck working abd work must be completed before I leave. I want out before I end up with a stroke

You sound very out of your depth

Yiu accept you weren’t doing a good job. They could have sacked you but instead tried to accommodate and moved you to another role. You are still struggling. I don’t think this is the job for you

No they can’t “belittle” you

from their perspective though, you were loved on to their terms because you were failing in your previous team

and the nice manager - moved you on!

You misunderstand.i have not been .oved

My current one isn't right for me but if j get moved the. Who knows. I won't know until I. Moved and I haven't been moved tet

but not at the pace required so I am being moved into another role which is less demanding. I

So the situation could improve because you won’t be out of your drpth

Do you have a trade union rep?

Try to stay calm. It will all work out as it should. Try to focus on what is within your control, and that doesn’t include other people’s behaviour.

Be positive about the new job. Give yourself three months to try it out. If it’s still having such a negative impact on your wellbeing then I would start looking for a job elsewhere.

When you are moved, will you be under a different manager?

See the move as a fresh start and go from there.

No, they shouldn’t be belittling you. What are some examples? Are they commenting on the work not being done (fair enough, and being addressed as you are being moved) or is there more to it?

Nothing you've said suggests bullying. What sort of belittling comments have you had?
Regardless it does sound like you are out of your depth and unable to cope with your current role. Nothing wrong with that. You say you are happy to have been offered a different role so what's the problem?

You can’t keep up with current job they could of performance managed u out but they’ve moved you to another role

I’m not seeing where they are bulling you

Is it the move that is making you feel belittled?

Yes

No it's the attitude of managers criticising me in my current position. There are ways of doing it and the way it's being done is very patronising

But they could have performance managed you out

instead they are moving you in to a less pressurised role

give it a chance op!

Unless you give us some examples, we can’t tell if the managers are being belittling and patronising or if you are being naturally sensitive because you know you’re struggling.

You've said you’re struggling. They are moving you. Try and ignore them until you move. Have you got a date for the move?

Can you give examples?

You said the volume of work has gone up?

How many people are doing your role too?
Has everybody gotten the same extra work?
How are they managing the extra volume?
Are they being assessed by the same metric?

There are 18 people and they work long hours. One day I did 9 to 7 and got home at 9. Never again

9-7 is not enough incredibly long as hours go. Many people work much longer for various reasons, some quite happily, some not so. It really depends what the position and associated pay is.

If I was younger and wanted promotion and was very career minded then I would work long hours, but I'm 5 years off retirement and I need to be winding down. Im nit on my 20s or 30s, I'm in my 60s and I want a work life balance and want to be able to go out after work not stuck working so long that I'm too exhausted to do anything except sleep.

Princess anne is 75 and she is one of the hardest working royals. However she get chaufer driven or uses a helicopter. We go on public transport in rush hour which adds to the stress of long working hours

Reading your update I think you need to be honest with your self this job is too much for you
you can’t keep up, thoses aren’t particularly uncommon shifts but there too much for you . You yourself have said your on the wind down to retirement
stop trying to blame anyone or anything but yourself
it’s no failing just not for you given your level of motivation and where you are in your career

tbh I think your going to make it a lot more difficult for yourself by convincing yourself yourself hard done by
fingers crossed new role a better fit

Yes you are right