Probationary Period

[Midl88]

Hi all

Wondering if anyone has advice / been in a similar situation.

I’m nearly 3 months into a 6 month probationary period and I found out I am pregnant - I am 7 weeks. I’ve got severe morning sickness, which started a week and a half ago, and I physically cannot keep anything down. It’s horrendous. I didn’t have this in my previous pregnancy.

The pregnancy was a complete surprise and for health reasons I didn’t think I could have another child. That is a separate conversation and discussion to be had with midwife etc.

Anyway, my supervisor is something else, incredibly rude to me all of the time, never has more than 2 mins to talk to me about a task, so I never get any proper instructions and I’m left to figure things out as I go along. The area of work I do is incredibly technical and a stressful industry.

I don’t know what to do, I’m completely miserable and spend most days crying and now I am pregnant and really ill.

Any advice would be appreciated. I’m terrified to say anything but always terrified I won’t pass my probationary period and all the financial implications of that.

Oh I feel for you, some people should just not be managers. Absolutely tell them/ HR you're pregnant. They have a duty of care towards you, but alongside this you should also raise how your manager is making you feel.

The only thing is that you may not be entitled to maternity pay dependent on their policy as you won't qualify for SMP but you can get an allowance from the government.

Make sure you to put yourself first and best of luck with the pregnancy x

Thanks so much for replying. It’s been an incredibly tough time and I am actually a pretty hardy person but this manager is on the verge of breaking me. Although I’m in the same industry it’s a new area for me which everyone knew and said I’d get loads of support on and training, it’s been the complete opposite. Coupled with pregnancy and I’m just a ball of sickness and anxiety.

Is there someone at your workplace who is more senior than your manager/supervisor, OP?

My manager was notorious for sexism, rudeness, bullying people out of their jobs (and then wonders why we can't keep staff...), shouting at people, and being the main well-being issue in our department (to the point that there is a long list of ex-employees, and there are current members of staff on long-term anti-depressants, largely because of the manager). I was pulled into a meeting by someone more senior. It turned out that nobody on my team had spoken to them about the manager's attitude, hence why it had gone unchecked for so long. Fortunately, I'd written everything down, with dates, and agreed to put forward a grievance. HR were brought in, my manager threatened with being sacked (but stayed, because nobody else was brave enough to back me up), and the manager has been forced to be MUCH nicer to us all since (even if you do get death stares sometimes). They leave me alone most of the time, as I have no fear of reporting further issues with their behaviour.

The person more senior was admiring of the fact that I (tiny female, and new to the company) was the only one who had 'the balls' to stand up to my manager 😁

If you've been to see a GP about the stress and anxiety, mention that to senior members/HR. A GP may also advise time off work. If you choose to leave your job, make it known as to why. Others might have done the same before you... but please get the supervisor's behaviour sorted.

Oh, and if it cheers you up, nobody in my department has ever passed their probation, despite working there for years!

Good luck with your predicament, and also your pregnancy. I hope that it all goes well for you!

Thank you for replying @TheeNotoriousPIG I honestly don’t know how people can think it’s ok to behave like that. I’m always so conscious of the way I talk and behave to people at work especially people more junior than me. I get stressed too but never take it out on others at work. Good for you for speaking up!

There is a head of the team who I’ve had a previous catch up with saying that I felt a bit unsupported and that I actually needed people to teach me the job properly as I want to do well and progress. We’re due for another catch up soon so I may have to say something, as my manager was awful to me last week and basically told me not to ask questions and get on with it and then proceeded to have a go at me for being to slow on things, when I had two competing deadlines and just can’t do two things at once. Being ill with pregnancy now has just tipped me over the edge!

I’d stick it out until you’ve passed your probation. Don’t tell them now, just use annual leave to take days off.

@Jk987 thanks for the reply, why would you not tell them now?

@Midl88i disagree with pp, if you're struggling absolutely tell them. They could unknowingly just think you're not coping with the role/ put undue pressure on you as they don't know the full circumstances. It means they have to support you and make reasonable adjustments x

Please do say something about your manager to the head of the team... and throw in the fact that your manager was awful (and why, in detail), you've been told not to ask questions, to get on with it, and that you're being screamed at for being slow... when you're still learning and having to figure it out for yourself. I imagine that your manager's pressure is on the others on your team to do their own work at a feverish pace, which leaves no time at all for them to train you up. If you can, write things down, with dates and (where possible) times. Show them up to be an inadequate manager and, hopefully, they will be dealt with accordingly!

After I spoke up, the manager's sudden personality transplant was questioned by many in the company... and it gave others in my department the courage to speak up. You won't be the only one suffering under their management.

@Midl88 Being pg, you have protection under the Equlity Act (2010) from Day 1. You have no need to "hold out until the end of your probationary period" why do that? Probation is completely irrelevant in your circumstances. there is no legal basis to probation, it's just there as an internal check step no more than that,

They cannot be accused of discriminatory behaviour if they don't know you're pg. the minute you tell them, it takes you onto a different legal basis.

Anyway, my supervisor is something else, incredibly rude to me all of the time, never has more than 2 mins to talk to me about a task, so I never get any proper instructions and I’m left to figure things out as I go along. The area of work I do is incredibly technical and a stressful industry.

Not saying your boss won't continue to be an arse, but it does give you a better change of them backing off you, especially if you also involve HR. Let them know how you're being treated and give them the news that you're pg, so they give you support, and undertake a risk assessment of your environment, if your manager is harassing you (legal term for bullying if you have a protected characteristic which being pg is), that could have implications for you being out under stress like that.

Thanks very much everyone, I really appreciate it. I spent the weekend and this morning being sick and ended up logging on last night to do some work and was met with a very abrupt email from my manager after confirming some work on a Sunday evening.

I’ve emailed the head of our team for a catch up today and will tell him I’m pregnant and how sick I have been and I’ll mention my manager.

I feel like it’s an almost impossible situation, if I wasn’t pregnant I would have left. But I will just get on as best I can. It’s a real shame as I joined the team with high hopes and have given it my all, worked late / weekends etc with a young family.