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Original poster

Is this a breach of confidentiality?

18 replies

sowhoknowswhat · 22/10/2025 17:41

I’ve been signed off work with stress & anxiety. My boss was away on holiday at the time so I sent my sick note on email to a colleague who is also a friend, she is aware of the situation. This was a week ago.

Today I got a text from a colleague in my team saying they hoped I was ok, sorry to hear I was off, etc. I’ve not heard anything from my boss since I’ve been off at all, she is now back at work so is fully aware of me being signed off. However the colleague who messaged me today knew the reason as to why I was off & said they had heard it from my boss.

I've had a very turbulent time in my private life the last few years & this is known at work, so may not be a surprise I’ve been signed off, but apart from my colleague/friend I haven’t told anyone else at work except HR as to the reasons why.

I believe it would be classed as a confidentiality breach, but is there anything I can do about it? As all I have at the moment is my colleague’s word that they heard the info from my boss, nothing concrete.

TIA X

OP posts:
Reallyneedsomejustice · 22/10/2025 18:32

Phone your ethics line and have them investigate

Whatatodo79 · 22/10/2025 19:58

well it is a breach of confidence and yes i suppose there are various things one could do to raise that as a concern or complaint, but none of them will make you feel any better or improve your situation. I'd chalk this one up OP and concentrate on getting yourself together as best you can and getting back to work. Drifting into long term time off with MH and social issues combined with workplace grievances is not commonly associated with wellbeing and satisfaction for the employee in question

lljkk · 22/10/2025 20:03

What outcome would you want if you did something about this apparent breach, OP?
An apology from someone -- from your boss?
An assurance that your boss will never gossip about you again?
Are you feeling shame or embarassed about your reasons for being off work?
What harm has happened to you because colleague has this info... will you struggle to look her in the eye in future?

I honestly think that trying to ban gossip is like trying to ban sex...

SunnyViper · 22/10/2025 20:06

Reallyneedsomejustice · 22/10/2025 18:32

Phone your ethics line and have them investigate

What career are you in that needs an ethics line??

NotForTheMoneyandNotForTheApplause · 22/10/2025 20:22

Reallyneedsomejustice · 22/10/2025 18:32

Phone your ethics line and have them investigate

What kind of employer has those, I've never heard of that although obviously can work out what one is

I'm not sure what the best course of action is, probably depends on the factors at your workplace

Original poster
sowhoknowswhat · 22/10/2025 20:27

lljkk · 22/10/2025 20:03

What outcome would you want if you did something about this apparent breach, OP?
An apology from someone -- from your boss?
An assurance that your boss will never gossip about you again?
Are you feeling shame or embarassed about your reasons for being off work?
What harm has happened to you because colleague has this info... will you struggle to look her in the eye in future?

I honestly think that trying to ban gossip is like trying to ban sex...

@lljkkGossip is one thing, of course it’s in the work place, I’m usually a participant of it, however telling everyone the reasons one of their team signed off is different. It’s not professional, it’s not right, & I’d be interested to know if anything can be done post incident if it can be proven to be true. I feel useless enough at the moment, without knowing the whole office knows the reasons I’m not there.

OP posts:
Greenwitchart · 22/10/2025 20:48

I think you first of all need to be certain that your colleague/friend is not the one who gossiped.

I would contact HR and mentioned that you are concerned that the details of your health issues have been shared with your team without your permission. Then they can investigate as to who was responsible.

I have long term mental health issues and I would be livid if that was ever randomly shared with colleagues.

lizzyBennet08 · 22/10/2025 21:59

I think it sounds like you have enough going on without taking in this fight as well. Even if it's proven to be true, hr will tell your boss they shouldn't have said it to anyone and not to do it again and that will be it. When you're well again, you'll have to go back to a very damaged relationship with your boss . Of course you're right and he shouldn't have spoken but I'd focus on your health right now. As you said most people may have guessed or your colleague might have shared your issues with someone :

starballoons · 22/10/2025 22:08

Do they actually know the reason you are off? I wouldn’t think it’s a breach to say that you’re off sick as otherwise it would lead to more speculation to say nothing or refuse to answer

EBearhug · 22/10/2025 22:10

The big organisations I've worked for have had ethics/whistleblowing lines, along with employee assistance programmes and the like. I think it's quite usual in the corporate world these days.

I would contact HR to say you're concerned your medical details have been shared more widely than those who need to know. But I doubt you would get much more response than an apology and an assurance that it won't happen again - but unfortunately, you can't make anyone unknow it now they know.

NellieElephantine · 22/10/2025 22:15

sowhoknowswhat · 22/10/2025 20:27

@lljkkGossip is one thing, of course it’s in the work place, I’m usually a participant of it, however telling everyone the reasons one of their team signed off is different. It’s not professional, it’s not right, & I’d be interested to know if anything can be done post incident if it can be proven to be true. I feel useless enough at the moment, without knowing the whole office knows the reasons I’m not there.

Show quote history

So you're happy to gossip about other staff? How long have you been off for?

Jellycatspyjamas · 23/10/2025 07:19

sowhoknowswhat · 22/10/2025 20:27

@lljkkGossip is one thing, of course it’s in the work place, I’m usually a participant of it, however telling everyone the reasons one of their team signed off is different. It’s not professional, it’s not right, & I’d be interested to know if anything can be done post incident if it can be proven to be true. I feel useless enough at the moment, without knowing the whole office knows the reasons I’m not there.

Show quote history

I’d want to be very sure it wasn’t my friend that had shared why you’re off sick, or that the person hasn’t simply put 2 and 2 together, knowing you r had a rough ride lately. In many workplaces if someone is off sick long term without explanation there’s an assumption it’s MH related, rightly or wrongly. So be sure or your ground, and consider what you want the outcome of any complaint to be.

Nandina · 23/10/2025 11:04

I wouldn't bother reporting your boss for this. Your team are probably all assuming you're off for MH issues so it may not have been a slip by your boss at all. I wouldn't be creating any drama for when you get back.

ICouldHaveCheckedFirst · 23/10/2025 12:05

Technically, yes, it probably is a breach, OP. However, as explained above, your colleagues can't unknow this now.

Try to see her message in a more positive light - she has sent a message of support. That's a good thing, surely?

lljkk · 24/10/2025 09:27

I’d be interested to know if anything can be done post incident if it can be proven to be true

What does "anything" mean in that sentence? Does it mean = to make them forget? Or does it mean = to make them not talk about my current condition.

If they know you made a strong complaint, they will talk A LOT more about your current condition. A very public complaint would not be a reliable damage limitation strategy if stopping them talking about your now condition is your goal.

ArtTheClownIsNotAMime · 24/10/2025 09:48

sowhoknowswhat · 22/10/2025 20:27

@lljkkGossip is one thing, of course it’s in the work place, I’m usually a participant of it, however telling everyone the reasons one of their team signed off is different. It’s not professional, it’s not right, & I’d be interested to know if anything can be done post incident if it can be proven to be true. I feel useless enough at the moment, without knowing the whole office knows the reasons I’m not there.

Show quote history

Is the gossip you often participate in always professional and ethical?

PollyBell · 24/10/2025 09:51

What did you expect people to be told when you weren't at work? Unless you took extended leave to hike the Andes i presume people need to know the basics

Mangledrake · 24/10/2025 09:58

People would almost certainly have worked it out anyway. Unless you want to put a strain on your relationship with your boss, I'd let it go until you can raise it with them directly - and then consider whether it's worthwhile.

I've seen people come back to work from leave related to stress / anxiety / depression. They haven't been stigmatized and they've got on with their careers.

If it would make you feel better, you could contact the original friend or the boss and update, and add that your appreciate if they would keep your circumstances private as far as possible.

Good luck with your recovery. Try not to give work too much headspace. It can loom very large when you're away, just when you want to be focusing on other things.

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