Work bully gets star of the week, again

[IDontHateRainbows]

Someone at work has been subtly bullying and undermining me for months. This person seems to be able to say what they want, when they want with no consequence eg they were supposed to attend a meeting I had organised, but decided that they didn't want to and rather than go through their manager or speak to me just started declining meeting invites and saying they didn't think they should attend.

All came to a head a couple of weeks ago, when they publicly spoke down to me on a group email (not sure if it matters but we are a similar grade, both managers, but part of my job is to ensure their team provides a good service to another department which I business partner, and they often don't, so it gets taken out on me in a literal case of shoot the messenger)

Anyway something in my snapped and I made a complaint about the way I had been spoken to, we share a boss but she's a bit rubbish, she invited us in to a meeting where they were invited to speak first and ripped me to shreds on unrelated and insignificant matters so it felt like I was the one being told off, I managed to hold my own and give as good as I got, eventually boss was a bit like now let's move on and work together nicely, don't want to see this happen again... it didn't feel genuinely resolved but both of us have agreed to wipe the slate clean and for significant work issues I will go to the boss now but for minor issues they are still involved.

Anyway I was ok until today when they publish this 'star of the week' employee recognition thing in the group chat channel on a friday afternoon and I saw they were star of the week, again, and it's really got to me. There are over 50 people in the department who could get 'star of the week' but it has been this person around 4 times in the last 2 months (there can be more than one star to be fair, usually 2-3). I just feel like I'm completely vulnerable now and they are untouchable. For context, I have never had star of the week nor do I really want to, I just get the rage seeing this person get the public approval when they are privately (and not so privately) treating me like shit

Can anyone relate or give advice.

Your boss likes this person

Does the star of the week actually mean something? Or is it just a tickbox exercise?

Your boss is dealing with it appallingly. She should have kept to the issue at hand in the meeting.

I'm sorry you're goig through that. I've seen my boss's true colours this week too, and had a veiled threat made against me by her. I think she must have been reflecting on what she said (I could actually put a complaint in and take it to my union I think if I could be bothered), because now she's going way over the top being nice, and giving me a weird little hug to say thanks in front of a room full of others (witnesses, I assume, so that if I were to try to bring a case against her that she would have people saying they'd only ever seen her being nice to me and me acting cold towards HER).

Trust no-one in the workplace. People's true colours come out eventually. Never be loyal towards your employers either, always put yourself first when eg thinking of favourable times to move jobs.

I hope you get it sorted out to your satisfaction (and for fairness's sake).

Star of the week doesn't actually mean anything no, and certain people seem to always get it and others not, for the more junior members of the team i feel sorry as they can get sidelined. Honestly whatever the original intentions of it were its completely counter productive.

I just had a massive emotional reaction (internally) when it was published today.

This individual is absolutely vile to not only me but the department i work with who their team provides a service for, and has i think been trying to intimidate me into not raising any issues that they want fixing. I feel like my role has a conflict of interest if I can't be the voice of the end customer for fear of getting treated badly by the manager of the team providing the service. Maybe if this continues I go up the chain and portray it more that way, than saying i have an issue with X's behavior?

The only way with this stuff is to rise above it and concentrate on your own strengths, with perhpas a bit of subtle promotion of those strengths. And remember you owe an employer like this no loyalty.

Your boss likes this person, if its really effecting you is it possible to look for a new job? (Understand if you cant)

Boss and Bully are friends. You won’t win this. It sucks and it’s not fair and I’m sorry.

Options: ignore and probably get passed over for promotion and things like that in favour of bully or leave. I’d be inclined to do the latter unless a promotion meant Bully would be out of your daily orbit.

Thanks all, boss is actually leaving in the near future so there's no point me leaving and its not really an option anyway, plus bully is not that big a part of my job to ruin the good parts. Reckon I let it play out with the new one.

There is a reason manager turnover is high!

Hard message - you might think you’re being effective, and you may well be being so, but it only counts if your superior agrees. Bias exists and we all have to deal with it, like it or not.

Work recognition has often seemed illogical to me. I've bust a gut over things and it's not been noticed, and other times I have been recognised for little more than doing my job. I don't think you should pay any attention to the 'star of the week' nonsense.

If your manager is leaving soon, I think you're right to let it play out - but it would do no harm to start looking at other options, get your CV polished up etc. as the atmosphere where you are doesn't sound great and if the change of manager doesn't improve things, you might want to move on from it.

Gosh it sounds like a school rather than a place of work with star of the week.
Try to let it rise over you and start looking for a new job as your workplace sounds toxic.

I honestly think the recognition thing causes more problems than it solves. In a big department, if youre recognizing say 3 people a week out of 50 or so, that's 47 people potentially thinking 'what about me'. If you do what my kids primary school did wirh the after school art club and praise a different person every time on rotation, to include everyone, it gets a bit meaningless and tokenistic.

Ultimately I know if I've done a good job for my internal customers if its improved something, or created something new that's of benefit and I can see its helped. If I get a genuine, meaningful thanks from the end user that's way more significant than a star thing.

Star of the week as a way to do employee recognition is really odd. Ours is a once a year thing and company not department/branch led. The title star of the week reminds me of primary school.

It is odd particularly with more senior roles where its more project work with longer times to see outcomes. Other places I've worked have done an annual awards ceremony for outstanding achievements in line with company values etc plus an actual thing of reward like a voucher.