New job: undermined

[Mangetoutmangetouti]

This is long, sorry.

I had a great job, hybrid, lots of WFH, part time with regular weekdays off.
Perfect for me with disability and kids, but I was bored.
No progression, not stimulating. Then a job came up that felt more me , aligned with my skills and experience, interesting, challenging, more hours, less holiday but school hours (not term time only unfortunately).

I enjoy the job and know I’m good at it.
I’m the only one doing my role. My predecessor left before I joined, so I’ve been learning as I go.
I was told to make the job my own, which I’ve done. It’s public facing and relies heavily on volunteers.

There was no clear system for seeing customers, people would wait around for ages, volunteers would call my name while I was with someone else.
It felt chaotic and unfair to customers, so I introduced a simple reception process to manage things better. It’s basic, I tested it with colleagues, one said she really liked it.

Every day I introduce it to the day’s team of volunteers, saying it’s a trial and I’m open to feedback. I’ve tweaked it when needed.

One day I was out at a meeting and my boss sent an email to everyone saying not to follow the new process after I’d not been there to introduce it to the team, honestly it is simple and nothing more than you’d be asked at any appointment anywhere .

I explained I needed some structure, then she agreed I could keep using it.

The next week, while working with customers , I overheard volunteers talking about me , through two appointments. Loudly & negatively, comparing me to my predecessor, saying I don’t understand our clients, that I’m inexperienced. It was humiliating and unprofessional.

One came over afterwards to give their collective “feedback.” I told her I’d heard everything they said whilst I was working. She explained why they didn’t like it , she said she didn’t care one way or the other…
most reasons were spurious but I listened, took notes, said I’d adapt it.
She said she’d bring it to their volunteer team meeting.

I left the room and heard them still talking about me. When I came back, it continued.

While they were gossiping, they missed a key security step that could’ve put us at risk.

At the end of the shift she said she was going upstairs to talk to my manager (apparently not about me). She then left, all smiles. Another volunteer left, saying goodbye to everyone except me.

My manager then came to ask if I was ok , clearly the volunteer had said something.
I explained what happened.
She said the loudest complainer always behaves like that, that new staff often go through this, and shared examples.
I was shocked they were still being allowed to volunteer.

My boss said I should’ve run my new process by her, but I reminded her she’d told me to make the role my own.
She then admitted the volunteer lied , there was never a system before, and my predecessor didn’t have a structured one. She said they actually like my professionalism and ‘modern’ way of working.

Mind blown.

We agreed I’d remove my form temporarily while we create a more basic version.

The next day, without it, I was run off my feet.
Whilst with a customer ,
I again heard volunteers whispering about me , different people this time, saying “she’s still learning” and discussing parts of the service outside my remit as though I was doing something wrong but it’s something legally I’m not allowed to touch.
I couldn’t hear it all as working, but it really upset me.

I thought I was doing well. After years of WFH, this has been a big adjustment with my health, but I was excited to prove myself. Now I just feel crushed and embarrassed .

I’ve thrown what felt like an amazing opportunity for a disabled mum just because I was bored .

My old WFH job isn’t being re-advertised, and I can’t find anything similar.
I feel stupid for leaving a safe role for this , and now I’m stuck in a toxic, undermining environment where I feel exposed, vulnerable, and unprotected.

How do I deal with this?

What are these volunteers doing that they have so much time to gossip? That’s disgusting. I’d be taking notes with their names every single time. They’re not helping, they’re hindering.
you didn’t make a mistake. In my experience, a change brought from my ambition that comes with more struggle actually makes me much stronger and more capable. Just hang in there. It will get better and you will get stronger.

stick with your process that made things better for you. The volunteers … they can just squawk like crows in the corner. There’s a reason they’re not being paid.

Wow! How did you manage four years? Someone else told me similar yesterday about another workplace, I’m absolutely shocked that I’ve been told to basically suck it up, especially as a disabled worker already vulnerable in the workplace due to none of the promised adaptations being in place. Luckily I brought some bits from my last job but I’ve started completely on the back foot. I’ve contacted access to work but they’re a mess at the moment due to subcontractors and I have asked for support from disability employment adviser from DWP (am on if since migration from tax credits)
I hate it all , I feel so trapped now, I just can’t get over what I gave up, thinking it would be better for me

It is disgusting and they have done and said so many things that are not acceptable in any workplace, let alone with our diverse customers.
i have been so careful of treading the line between challenging, grassing, complaining, learning my job and trying to do it well and provide a service as well as look good to my new boss and colleagues.
Honestly I feel so sorry for myself right now and I’m embarrassed because I was so excited and everyone I know was telling me it’d the perfect job for me, I left my old job sad but also excited and I nearly changed my mind so many times but I was desperate for a change especially after my relationship imploded

OP, if they weren't volunteers, I'd think you'd stumbled across the team I managed before I retired, LOL. Some people are, literally, unmanageable. It's no joke.
If you're minded to continue, start compiling a report showing how your new process has brought about improvements - as many as you can think of. Measurable ones are best ( x more clients seen per day, shorter waits by clients, fewer / more repeat clients - whatever is appropriate for your services). Also things like any positive comments from clients, you feeling less stressed etc. Update and send the report to your manager every week. Use it to get your manager on-side and ask them to praise you in front of the volunteers (especially the awkward ones).
Introducing changes is fraught with difficulty, OP (I used to work in this area, and this is bringingback painful memories!) and you've done well in difficult circumstances.

Personally I think there’s too many volunteers per shift and what many of them do is pure hindrance but it’s not my place to say that.
i went out of my way to try and do them a collective favour a couple of weeks ago and had been doing planning to follow it up this week and it was hopefully going to be a surprise but they can go whistle for it now.
im not normally vindictive and I know it sounds petty but I have been crying on and off for days , I feel anxious, I have a knot in my chest all the time, I can’t relax anywhere, I can’t let me kids know what I’m going through, they were so excited for me to get this new job, and i can feel my mental health slipping.

Thank you for sharing your experience. I know it sounds weak but I just scrapped the process yesterday, at least for now. I have to keep presenting it every. Single. Day. to each new team and I just feel too fragile at the moment to deal with further pushback.

I don’t feel able to push it as ‘this is happening’ because my boss has already told me not to use it, backtracked, witnessed the fallout and almost been a bit ‘I told you so’ when saying ‘perhaps I gave you too much freedom’
so I can’t measure anything because I have let them win really, and even with that win , I’m still hearing the same old talking about me like I’m coming in and stealing from them.

theres nothing I do that they actually want to do, they never do it and even though they’re bright people they do seem to act not very bright at times and now I’m starting to wonder if it’s calculated, almost as though they are so angry with me, unimpressed by me? That they’ve decided not only to work to rule, but to also pile work on me AND publicly slate me and my capabilities in front of people who are sitting in front of me with me supposedly supporting them .

I’ve gone well out of my comfort zone to do things I don’t want to do that are in no way my job description because I didn’t think it fair to expect unpaid staff to do it.

Just sending you hugs x

Awww 🥰 thank you. I need it! I feel so alone. Having disabilities and kids with Sen doesn’t leave me much time for friends and fun ,i have no close family and I thought just maybe this new job might help me get out and get some social interaction and it’s been such a shock.
i feel so alone and so scared and i really would love a hug. I don’t know what to do other than keep looking at jobs. None of the ones I’ve seen so far are much cop

Hi op sorry this situation sounds bloody awful. I understand your regret leaving your previous post but this isn’t on you it’s on your management not supporting you the paid employee who they hired they thought you were good enough to be paid for your time there obviously scared of losing free labour. Are there any nice volunteers you can chat to? Keep looking but this isn’t on you. You tried your best to make the service more professional the volunteers are being mean and childish. I would suggest an email to management and say I understand the volunteers don’t like or respect me and I would appreciate if you can ask them to at least be professional when clients are sitting there and if there going to slag you off they do it in in private as people who are coming in for the service won’t like turning up to such a toxic environment and if your there to help people this is even more important to show respect to each other. Good luck it’s horrible working in a shitty job. Make the most of your time off when you get it and hopefully something better will come soon.

Thank you so much for your lovely kind message. I feel powerless except to sit it out and keep jobsearching.
i think there’s a management plan to speak to the main players and there are some lovely ones there too so i will keep on trying, I don’t want to risk being sick as on probation and feel like they’re a law unto themselves there, I don’t feel awfully safe.

Stick it out, OP. People hate change, even if it's for the better. It'll get better as soon as the nasty volunteers realise that they'll have to get on with the new changes or leave. Stay a year at least. I'm sure your predecessor had to put up with loads of disgruntled volunteers when they started too.
You know you're doing a good job so try to block out the hate x

Thank you. Apparently my predecessor didn’t have any of it because the role was brand new then so nothing to rail against. But thank you, realistically I have to give it a year for CV purposes if nothing else.
I like the job, I’m good at the job, lots of people think I’m good at it and there are nice people there. I think my concern is that the undermining might spread throughout the team but I am going to try my best

I'd be tempted to get them all in a room, explain that how they are talking/behaving in front of customers is unacceptable and that it needs to change going forward.

I would also say that you appreciate feedback on your new process, you understand there's been some criticism so it would be good to look into this further but also (and this is what might force the vocal one to pipe down) that you value that a fair few volunteers have approached you privately to explain they like the new process and are happy that something has been implemented. Explain you're always open to feedback on an individual level if anyone has comments they wouldn't like to make publicly.

^ what this does is cause the vocal trouble maker to panic that not everyone she's bitching to actually agrees with her, and even more so that she won't know who agrees and who doesn't, she'll be paranoid that people are just placating her but coming to you with praise. Bullies are only as strong as their perceived "gang" and if she realises that not everyone is on her side she may back down.

I also think your boss is being a poor manager. I'd be straight with her and explain certain volunteers are unhappy, that she either let you manage them or they'll need to be filling multiple positions going forward.

I think you need to learn things here OP. You come across as treating the volunteers as lesser and that your job is more important. Yes you were told to make the job your own, but you should have run things by your boss first before making changes.
Not too late to learn though, I'd suggest a heart to heart with your boss, hold your hand up to your mistakes and work with the volunteers going forward.

This sounds an awful situation to manage, nevermind juggling it with disabilities.
Does the organisation have a code of conduct for volunteers to follow? Or policies for behaviour etc.
If they do, then it maybe worth refreshing everyone's knowledge of them and reinforce that failure to follow them will lead to volunteers being asked to leave. If they don't, they need to put one together fast.
You need to be pushing for the reasonable adjustments to be put in place that were agreed.
You also need to work out with your managers a better way of working. Sometimes it's only when someone new comes in that these changes can happen. As fresh eyes (& a wealth of knowledge from elsewhere) can improve a service. Just because it's a group of volunteers, doesn't mean a slick and professional service can't be provided.
You also need to work with management to remove the difficult volunteer(s). Their behaviour is appalling and should not have been tolerated over the years.
Good luck

I genuinely don’t think less of volunteers. The place would fall apart without them.
i constantly tell them how amazing they are and am ever grateful, without them my job would be so much harder.
I do however think less of people who loudly slate their colleagues in front of them whilst said colleague is working with members of the public who are there for support.

i run everything past my boss as I'm new and several times I’ve been told to use my discretion, make the job my own etc.

the thing i introduced is such a minimal amount of effort or work for anyone, i never expected that reaction and I didn’t get that reaction from the majority of people so far.

i take on board all feedback and criticism but not in that way and of course I’ve learned from it.
I’ve removed the offending process (30 seconds max work and it should have been happening all along)
and I won’t introduce or suggest anything new at all from now on, without the manager’s full knowledge and they can introduce it to the wider team.

I don’t know how to keep pushing. I say something every day.
every day is ‘oh yes I need to chase that up’
ive applied to access to work but the waiting list is huge.
part of the reason i brought in the new process is because ive had to adapt massively to not having the adjustments in place and i need the change in order to get the best out of my time without impacting on my health even more.
i hate it so much, i feel absolutely worthless and like ive sold myself down the river.

Not having the adjustments in place is causing me further physical pain which adds to my anxiety and distress and I feel like I’m becoming a basket case

I’ve lost so much confifence I have no capacity to do anything about it with them now so it’s easier to just let them have their own way

I'm sorry to hear you're having such a tough time getting things in place. (I'm disabled and not able to work, but at least can adapt things at home, so completely sympathise).
It sounds like you may have to walk away - don't know if there are disabled charities that could advise but it does sound like you are not being supported with your disability (despite agreement) and your work place is pretty toxic.
Maybe get you GP to sign you offer with work related stress to give you some breathing space/apply for other jobs.

Thank you for understanding. I would ideally not work at all but mortgage etc. I don’t know what I was thinking giving up my safe boring job with all the adjustments and a decent ish HR. This feels like it will haunt me forevermore!

Then respectfully this isn't the job for you anymore. If you're a manager you need to manage. I'd look for something else before your confidence takes even more of a battering.

the op isn’t the manager her manager is not supporting her these volunteers are nasty & spiteful she can’t just say oh fuck it and leave she has kids to support if the volunteers were nice to her this job would be ideal she enjoys it and is good at it. Not everyone can just leave jobs with nothing to go to especially with a mortgage. Sadly the government pay a landlords mortgage but not the home owner so please be kind to her. She already regrets her decision.

It sounds from the OP that her role is to manage the shop/office/whatever it is, and that these volunteers fall in her remit. Otherwise I've no idea why the OP thinks she could tell them what to do.

I was responding to the fact OP says she's already lost her confidence and won't do anything about the volunteers. Do you think it's more helpful to tell her to stay and get worn down further by these people?

So you give some sort of advice? But you never know who/how many need it? What do the volunteers do? Presumably something different? How can you give advice in an open plan setting? Are you giving advice while other service users and volunteers are listening? That sounds awful.

I dont know how much experience you have of managing people but that’s the role you are in now so if it’s a job that you want to make work you will need to adapt your approach.

You have identified that there is an inefficient process and you know that there is challenge to your attempt to change it, possibly led by a single or small number of disruptive team members.

Look up the basics of Change Management. You can’t just drop a change on a group and expect immediate compliance and agreement. That will never happen, people get comfortable in the way something is done, they find change disconcerting and uncomfortable, they don’t always see the prospective benefits. You need to explain why it’s needed, support people to fully understand the reason and the changes, encourage them to feedback positively and constructively, listen to their concerns and adapt your approach as needed to address those concerns.

I particularly like the PDCA model, I’ve used it successfully for years and it gives a good basic structure to work within. Once you’ve followed it for a while it becomes automatic.

PDCA cycle is a widely used method in change management for implementing continuous improvement and driving organisational change effectively.

Here’s a breakdown of each phase of the PDCA cycle in the context of change management:

• Plan: businesses assess the need for change and establish clear objectives and goals. They develop a detailed change management plan, outlining strategies, resources and timelines while also securing support from stakeholders to ensure alignment and commitment to the proposed changes.
• Do: businesses implement their change management plan, execute activities, communicate with stakeholders and support employees with necessary training. Progress gets closely monitored to ensure adherence to timelines, and regular communication addresses any concerns or questions stakeholders may have.
• Check: businesses evaluate the progress and impact of the change initiative by monitoring key performance indicators and analysing deviations from the planned outcomes to understand their causes. This phase offers valuable insights into the effectiveness of change management strategies and identifies areas for improvement.
• Act: businesses take corrective actions based on findings from the check phase, adjusting the change management plan and integrating successful changes into standard procedures. This phase ensures continuous improvement by addressing issues and updating strategies based on lessons learnt.

The PDCA cycle is a loop. After the Act phase, start again with the Plan phase to keep improving or tackle new problems. This cycle helps organisations stay flexible and make their change management better as things change.