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Just need some friendly advice

1 reply

Bubbles9 · 16/10/2025 06:02

Hello,
I started a job a few months ago in a manager role. I dropped down a few levels to learn more about a new area. Started the job under one boss and really enjoyed it. Now a new director has come in and she is really unhappy with the department I have started work in. It’s hard to know what she wants as she is not my line manager, so I hear things second hand. She wants impossible things like projects that could not be fulfilled because of non moveable variables plus a department that has been depleted of resource. My new boss is barely around, and has now put us one to one weekly meetings in. I have felt completely treated like dirt by this new director since she arrived. I don’t know what has happened to make her be the way she is, could be pressure. The staff across the organisation don’t like her, but I’m in my probation so need to do well and please her. Any advice. I feel confused, fed-up and like giving up and I can’t afford to do that without another job. This job could be a great job if I could understand what she wants and when in realistic timescales. She has booked us all in for a meeting next week and wants us to come to that meeting with greater info and so we can put smart objectives onto everything. Which there are, she just hasn’t had time to look at them. God it’s been horrendous. The restructure has been hard. The new middle boss says nothing. He is a gossip and I don’t trust him - I asked him yesterday if I should give up - and was I the right person and he said let’s take it step by step and we’ll get through it. So I’m left feeling like I’m terrible, no idea what she wants from a department depleted by resource, and even when we have projects lined up she is still not happy. Half the organisation has gone off on stress. I’m not surprised. Ok how do I pick myself off and give this one more try.

OP posts:
Defiantlynot41 · 16/10/2025 14:18

Can you have a 1:1 with her and ask her what she needs to see from you/your team in order to understand where you are with projects? Could be a difference in styles (preference for data or narrative etc) or expectations. How would she feel supported by your team?

I also suspect she feels under pressure to perform, knows she is not liked and most people default to the defensive in that position. Might be worth a bit of love-bombing - I want this team to succeed and I want you to succeed so let’s align our objectives to make sure we get there, kind of thing.

the other thing is when talking about SMART, get lots of details on the measures. They should be like VAR in football, there should be no doubt on the evidence that they have or have not been achieved. No “grow”, no “improve” no “get better at” without crystal clear measures of how that would be evidenced, and what the milestones or stages look like how would you know if you are on track?

a really good book is Radical Candor (American spelling) by Kim Scott - she also has YouTube, website and podcasts but the book is great and has practical steps to achieve, not just improving your knowledge of what to do/how to

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