I just want to rant as I don’t think there’s anything I can do personally. I’ve been back from maternity leave for 2 ish month and I feel like death.
I made the decision to return at 9 months because 3 months off unpaid was a scary thought for me. My partner has been working throughout my maternity leave and I’ve been happy during that time doing most/all of the housework and baby care, because I wasn’t doing anything else. It was agreed and expected that when I return to work, we’d split the share. My partner is usually amazing, and up until this point used to be helpful.
Well I’m sat up writing this at 5:30am and I’ve been awake since 2am. My now 11 month old is a very erratic sleeper, and will wake up every 30-40 minutes, usually just wanting his dummy and going straight back to sleep, but occasionally staying awake for longer. It’s me getting up with him. Every single day. My work shifts are long, very physical, and I start at 6am. I’m consistently having around 2-3 hours sleep a night.
We’re now on month two and I can’t carry on. I am exhausted. I can hardly hold a conversation, I can’t remember things, everyone at work likely thinks I’m incompetent. I’m falling asleep on public transport to and from work, on the sofa when I get home, at any point I sit down. I’m missing meals because I’m getting up as late as I can and falling asleep when I get home, and feel nauseous constantly. My partner still WILL NOT help. He snores away, or pretends he can’t hear the baby crying (or me whacking him.)
My house is a mess because I’m at work and he doesn’t clean while I’m out. Laundry hasn’t been done in days and won’t be until I’m off work. He claims the baby is too attention demanding to do chores which just isn’t true, I’ve done it for the past 11 months why can’t he? Again my job is absolutely the more physically demanding which he’s acknowledged.
Sat here getting ready to start work and wanting nothing more than to quit, but I can’t because my partner is so unreliable I don’t want to be left without money :(