Struggling to move on from leaving toxic job

[TipsyEagle]

Hi everyone, I'm 32F. I was working in a different field for almost 8 years but left for a new industry a few months ago for better long-term prospects. It started off well in the first two weeks but ever since it went downhill and unfortunately, both my managers were incredibly toxic, micro-managing, condescending, the workload was unmanageable and whenever I tried to bring any of this up (I've had a few breakdowns with my boss too due to the sheer stress and pressure) it was always deflected to be my fault.

My last resort was to go to the Senior Leadership Team but that made things worse and the bullying got worse and I quit 2 days after this. Physical symptoms of feeling sick in the morning, insomnia, couldn't exercise due to tiredness, anxiety, eczema flaring and my digestion was messed up as I was in a nervous state all the time. As soon as I resigned, all symptoms shifted and I couldn't stop smiling. I left just under 3 months in my probation period and I found the work fine, it wasn't hard or anything but the emotional baggage was too much and the volume they give to new starters was a lot and we weren't trained how to keep up or deal with it - I spoke to a friend who also quit a few months in but she wasn't bullied, she couldn't cope with the workload intensity, I left more due to the bullying. I wouldn't typically resign until I have something lined up but the treatment was unbearable.

It's been a week since I left and I'm struggling, luckily financially I am fine but I've always had a job. Now I'm in relaxed state, I keep repeating things over and was regretting I left too soon but I knew being in that state with things never being good enough, criticised for any little thing and making everything a big deal etc. was wearing me down. I have talked to friends and people at the place have been supportive but how can I move on? Does anyone have any ideas of using the unemployment time to rebuild? I want to get back to exercise, cooking healthy meals, sleeping. I've been applying to jobs in the same industry but looking at Glassdoor a lot more and also my old career to give me options, talking to recruiters etc. I just feel down as the career path had a lot of opportunity for the future and feeling stuck.

Hello, I don't have practical advice but just wanted to say a week really isn't a long time so please be kind to yourself. I also quit without anything lined up earlier this year after 10 years with the same company. It was 100% the right decision and I'm sooooo glad I did it, but it is a big step and it took me a good month to stop feeling a bit off and very stressed about the whole thing! Exercise always makes me feel better and helps clear my head so would encourage you to start with that (not sure what you're into but for me running, biking, walking are all the best - anything that gets me outside in the fresh air!)

Good luck - life is too short to be stuck in a job that makes you miserable so you've done the right thing. New opportunities will come round - I've just landed a new role and really excited about it. I'm sure the same will happen for you too x

It sounds like you made the absolute right decision to leave. Sometimes things just don’t work out. This was one of those times. You could do the job it was the toxic environment that was the problem.

You’ve only been out of the place for 1 week! That’s no time at all. Enjoy some downtime and slowly get back to exercise, healthy eating and sleeping properly.

Take Glassdoor with a pinch of salt, there are a lot of angry people on there! The reviews are often from a small percentage of the people who actually work there and don’t necessarily give the full picture.

Get yourself onto LinkedIn and show that you’re open to work, the recruiters will find you. You can still stay on the career path you want, you just need to find a company with the same values as you. Take this time to do more research into the type of company you want to work for so you can work somewhere that is better suited to you.

I was sacked earlier this year from what I thought was a good job. (public sector). The thing to let go of is the bitterness. It is hard. Six months on I don't think about it too much.

I took an (enforced) step down into a duller job, but the stress is absolutely zero.

Trying to concentrate on life outside work. At the end of the day most of us are stuck in an office for 8 hours each day regardless of what we actually do while we are there, so does it really matter?

I will be impressing on DD (just at Uni) not to make her whole life her job, or to expect it to meet all her needs.

Best of luck. Work can be shite sometimes.

A month ago I left a toxic workplace after three years. I ended up making a formal grievance and agreeing to a financial settlement

The difference to my physical and mental health is already visible and I am sleeping so much better.

The first couple of weeks I was completely exhausted though so I think it does take some time to start feeling better. This job also really affected my self esteem and belief in my skills and experience and I think that takes some time to rebuild that as well.

Leaving was definitely the right decision for me.

I don't want to jump straight back into permanent employment for now and risk another dodgy employer so I am freelancing instead.