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Find networking at conferences incredibly difficult

28 replies

Corall · 04/10/2025 08:57

I sometimes get the opportunity to attend conferences through work as a delegate. I think I have undiagnosed asd. Often I don’t know anyone at the conferences and I dread the breaks and networking times so much. I often queue for refreshments then drink/eat alone. Sometimes I hide in the toilets, and wait till the sessions start. I just find initiating conversations with strangers so hard

OP posts:
itsmeafterall · 04/10/2025 12:17

I'm NT and a veteran conference attendee and networker.

The key I think to networking is for it to have a purpose, a goal so it's related to your work.

Before events I'd look to see who was attending or which organisations were represented that might be useful for me to get connections into it. That can help you to focus on seeking out specific people , which can be a time
Consuming game in itself. I've even been cheeky when talking to someone by saying things like 'I'd really like to find someone form x to talk to, do you know anyone? ' Asking people for help is a really effective ice breaker as people like to be asked for their expertise.

That allows You to prep on a 'professional' level- to be ready with open questions (eg tell me about what your co / you think about xx') . Also be ready with a mini 'elevator pitch' about who you are and what you're interested in at this event. That way you're ready to reply if they ask you as part of the introduction process.

And if it's replay painful you can exit with a simple 'you really must excuse me as I need to go find x, grab a drink, make my way to the plenary session '.

In terms of follow up use LinkedIn and email. Usually just a breezy

Hi x
It was lovely to chat with you at the x event last week. I really enjoyed our chat about xxxxx (so they remember who you are!).
Than say something about any follow up that might be appropriate eg
I mentioned x paper and thought it might be helpful to share a link to it.
Or
Our discussion on x was fascinating; If you have any more information on y then I'd be really grateful if you could point me in the right direction, it would be much appreciated.
Or
You kindly agreed to introduce me
To z person If you're able to forward on my details with a warm into that would be so helpful and much appreciated.

Have a lovely day

I always think of these professional type things a being a stage and you are acting / performing in your area of expertise. That way you can detach your personal self and feelings a bit.

Good luck !

ThreePears · 04/10/2025 12:46

I feel much the same. Usually though, there are one or two other people around the edges who also look like a fish out of water and sometimes I'll go over to them and say how hard I find all this networking business. They'll usually go "Oh thank God it's not just me, it's awful isn't it?!" and you find a partner in crime to share how dreadful it all is and how much you hate conferences.

YorkshireGoldDrinker · 04/10/2025 12:55

Might you be an introvert? Networking and socialising are highly extroverted activities. Do you find you feel completely wiped out?

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