I feel rubbish at my job

Lamontaine · 2025-10-01T20:31:45+00:00

I worked for ten years within a role that worked mainly well for me, I had good results, was appreciated by my team and manager. 3 years ago I decided to leave for a new opportunity however it didn’t work out for me. I kept in contact with my previous manager who jumped at the chance to rehire me and I was happy to go back to a job and company that I loved. One year in and it’s not going well. I lost all my clients and am struggling to rebuild a client base. My results are catastrophic. I have a senior role in the company but junior colleagues are managing better than me. I am starting to dread going into work and have lost all of my confidence. It’s really tough going and I don’t know what to do. I applied for a new role internally but it’s unlikely I’ll get it as I just found out I am up against a more qualified colleague. I am considering withdrawing the application but worry that will be seen as giving up. I could just leave as I don’t need to work but I’d feel like such a failure. Work is part of my identity and it’s so hard not being successful when I am used to it. if anyone has any advice I’d be grateful 🥲 thank you

Goldpanther · 01/10/2025 22:48

Sorry you are feeling this way.

Does your work have any mentoring opportunities, or work coaching you could becomes involved with?

I find mentoring (as a member for) helps boost my work confidence, I can talk junior colleagues through scenarios/problems they are having and it helps remind me of the wealth of experience I have, and then I can apply that same process of reflection and improvement planning on myself.

Original poster

Lamontaine · 02/10/2025 06:19

Thank you. That could be an idea yes.

OP posts:

CrowMate · 02/10/2025 06:26

It sounds really draining. I’m sorry.

How would a new starter build a client base? Are there opportunities you’re not accessing as you’re not seen as a new starter?

If you want the new role, I wouldn’t withdraw. I find even when you don’t get roles, it can open doors. You also never know what can happen on interview day.

Have you talked with your manager? They know what you’re capable of, can they help you?

Hurumphh · 02/10/2025 06:34

Have you heard of the idea of a ‘growth mindset’?

Rather than seeing failures or challenges as a problem, see them as an opportunity.

By going for the interview, you’re gaining valuable experience in writing an application, going through the interview process etc. There’s bravery in putting yourself out there and you’re learning so much about yourself in the process. There’s value in the journey. It’s not all about the outcome - that’s only a tiny bit of it. If you don’t get this one, next time you’ll be so much better prepared, and that’s a win in itself. (Even if you don’t get the next one either! They’re all building blocks).

By becoming aware of the more qualified colleague going for it, you could see that as an opportunity - what qualities have they got that you’re feeling worried about or jealous of? Are those qualities you’d like to develop yourself? How could you go about getting them? Perhaps ask a manager or mentor for some exposure or job shadowing in those areas? Are there any professional qualifications you could do to fill any knowledge gaps and build your sense of confidence and authority in your subject?

It’s really tough when work is part of your identity. Have you heard of the idea of thinking of it as ‘the work’ rather than ‘my work’? Take the focus off yourself and see work as a collective endeavour that you and your colleagues are all contributing to through your lives to move it forward. The work will never be done - new generations will come along and further it even more, develop ideas and better methods etc. it’s exciting to be part of something bigger in that sense, and it’s not about you. It’s like you’re all rolling a snowball along to make it bigger and better.

Antimimisti · 02/10/2025 06:59

applied for a new role internally but it’s unlikely I’ll get it as I just found out I am up against a more qualified colleague.

Don't let that put you off - I know countless occasions where internal roles have gone to a less qualified candidate. You have nothing to lose. At worst, if you don't get it, you can ask for feedback and it's practice for other roles you might apply for.

Original poster

Lamontaine · 02/10/2025 11:55

Thank you everyone, really useful comments here.
I had to follow up with my application today and decided to take the opportunity to go for it - although I do think it’s unlikely I’ll get it as I know the company and what they’re looking for - I agree that it’s a really valuable exercise. Whatever the outcome I’ll show internally that I’m willing to take the risk
to change roles.

OP posts:

Original poster

Lamontaine · 02/10/2025 21:34

Update: my boss rang me to tell me that my application for the new role had been dismissed by our director - he ‘didn’t want me
to spend time preparing for the next interview when they know they will offer the role to someone else’.

I am delighted for my colleague as she is worthy of the role and I know she’s the right choice. But not even being offered the chance to explain my motivations feels like a very big slap in the face.

OP posts:

Original poster

Lamontaine · 02/10/2025 21:38

Hurumphh · 02/10/2025 06:34

Have you heard of the idea of a ‘growth mindset’?

Rather than seeing failures or challenges as a problem, see them as an opportunity.

By going for the interview, you’re gaining valuable experience in writing an application, going through the interview process etc. There’s bravery in putting yourself out there and you’re learning so much about yourself in the process. There’s value in the journey. It’s not all about the outcome - that’s only a tiny bit of it. If you don’t get this one, next time you’ll be so much better prepared, and that’s a win in itself. (Even if you don’t get the next one either! They’re all building blocks).

By becoming aware of the more qualified colleague going for it, you could see that as an opportunity - what qualities have they got that you’re feeling worried about or jealous of? Are those qualities you’d like to develop yourself? How could you go about getting them? Perhaps ask a manager or mentor for some exposure or job shadowing in those areas? Are there any professional qualifications you could do to fill any knowledge gaps and build your sense of confidence and authority in your subject?

It’s really tough when work is part of your identity. Have you heard of the idea of thinking of it as ‘the work’ rather than ‘my work’? Take the focus off yourself and see work as a collective endeavour that you and your colleagues are all contributing to through your lives to move it forward. The work will never be done - new generations will come along and further it even more, develop ideas and better methods etc. it’s exciting to be part of something bigger in that sense, and it’s not about you. It’s like you’re all rolling a snowball along to make it bigger and better.

Edited

This is a real challenge in growth mindset, thank you @Hurumphh

OP posts:

Antimimisti · 03/10/2025 06:56

Lamontaine · 02/10/2025 21:34

Update: my boss rang me to tell me that my application for the new role had been dismissed by our director - he ‘didn’t want me
to spend time preparing for the next interview when they know they will offer the role to someone else’.

I am delighted for my colleague as she is worthy of the role and I know she’s the right choice. But not even being offered the chance to explain my motivations feels like a very big slap in the face.

How disappointing - bad luck, OP.

Take the small positive that at least they were open and upfront with you - it shows they respect you and value your time. They didn't mess you about or keep you hanging for a decision, which is all too common, and they cared enough not to want you wasting time for nothing.

When the dust has settled, perhaps you could have a development conversation with your boss in which you can make sure you're getting the right opportunities to build your skills for the next step. Use your application as basis to identify weaker points.