Feeling guilty - for a different reason to most posters on MN

[Gateau]

I feel guilty for ENJOYING being at work when my poor wee 13 month old DS is in nursery - even when that means having a bit of a skive on MN. Does that mean I want to be away from him?
I work three days and DS spends two of those in nursery. DH looks after him one day.

It sounds to me like you have a nice balance between home and work and that's nothing to feel guilty over.

Is your ds liking his nursery?

Thank you so much for assuring me Kay. I'm really beating myself about this, and to coin an over-used phrase - feel like a really bad, unfit mother. I do that a lot anyway.
I don;t think DS likes nursery that much really. He never looks that happy when I pick him up. Let's say I think he ENDURES it.

I loved going back to work after my maternity leave - it was great to be my own person again - I was miserable leaving DD but it was nice to have adult company again.

I lurved going back to work after DS2, I worked evenings and I loved the feeling that no matter what disaster was about to happen, I had to be out the door at 5.30 and that was not negotiable.
Gateau if you were a bad Mum you wouldn't worry

Thank thank you, all of you lovely people.
Like I said, I have been torturing myself about this for quite a while and was too ashamed to post this on here. I finally worked up the courage.
No dount I will continue to torture myself - that's me.

And secondly, another thing that made me feel really guilty was the fact that I didn't go through the misery, guilt thing when I first put him in nursery. So the non-guilt made me feel guilty. Does that make sense?
In fact I couldn't wait and was really excited about coming back to work.
There - it's out there now.

I think of my two work days as 'time off' . I loved being able to feel in control - people do what I tell them by at large at work plus I get to go to the loo on my own, have a WHOLE cup of tea etc etc etc

Great that your ds has a chance to have time alone with dh too - I think that's a really good thing.

well I think your a normal intelligent Mum. I accepted long ago that guilt is all part and parcel of motherhood. However DSs are 10 and 8 and whilst they don't always like me going to work, they know why I do it.
Also you DS is having the opportunity of a closer relationship with your DH than many kids have. That can only be good

I'm really glad I posted on here now. Thank you.
Maybe what you say funnypeculiar about the control thing has hit the nail on the head. Nothing is fixed when you're at home with the children, is it? Well, in my experience anyway. Nothing ever seems to get DONE - only half-baked attempts. I find that frustrating.
Gosh - I've justfound out I'm a control freak - HELP!!!

The other thing for me (building on your 'getting done' point) is that at work I can do a project, and it's done. End of. Sense of completion & satisfaction. I'm not saying the kids don't give me satisfaction, course they do, but they're never 'done' - I don't ever get that closure feeling (not saying I want to, but, oh ykwim)

I went back to my nice desk job when ds2 was 7m old, with a 16m gap between two very lively demanding boys...

I made no secret of the fact that I had come back to work for a rest A hot cup of tea A chance to prioritise work and get it done in the order I want to do it and with no interruptions.

The children have always loved going to nursery, grandma comes and does baking etc with them once a day and daddy has them to do outdoorsy things on a Friday.

Did I feel guilty? No! If I am not working I have absolutely no other time 'off duty' from the children so I look on it as me time. I am still mummy - they just don't need me in their faces all the time

Grandma comes once a week for a day.... not once a day!

dd3 doesnt like nursery

I love coming into work for a quiet cup of tea and a surf

I dont feel guilty particularly - only when I really SHOUL d be working...

I'm similiar to you flibberty: I don't get - or don't want "me time", ie time away from DS apart from being at work. A lot of others Mums like to go and do shopping or get pampered their without DCs - that's what they want, so fine. I have never wanted to do that - so maybe work is my "me time" more than anything else.
Thanks for making me see things more clearly - and relieving some of the guilt.

BTW: does anyone else spend (probably way too much!!) time on MN when they're at work? It makes me feel bad that I'm "not working" in the literal sense when DS is in nursery.

Opps; have just seen your post Enid.

I guess I am also disappointed in myself that I'm not the earth mother I thought I was going to be - ie I thought I would NEVER want to return to work, use disposable nappies and BF successfully.And that's just the tip of the iceberg.
Ding ding... my humble pie's ready.

Yup, I always fancied myself as an earth mother and then found out that I just bumble about and hope for the best most of the time.
IMHO my kids are happy, I'm happy, DH is happy, we all love each other, so what if its chaotic at times, we sort of get there in the end