Would you follow up on a rejection?

[Mmmkaay]

I’d really appreciate some outside perspective on a recent experience.

I interviewed for a role that I genuinely felt was a great fit for my skills and background. The interviews went well, and I built what felt like a strong rapport with the hiring manager (let’s call him Bob).

Today, after a two week wait (while Bob was away for a few days and then had another couple of interviews to conduct) I received a note via the recruiter saying that after much thought, Bob has decided not to progress with any candidate, as he doesn’t feel he has yet met the “perfect person” for what is a demanding role. I was thanked for my time and wished well.

Here’s the thing: I’m baffled. I don’t think I could have been a better match, and the conversations felt very positive. My gut tells me Bob may have had second thoughts (he seems like an over thinker) or simply got cold feet.

My question is, would it be unprofessional for me to reach out directly to Bob thanking him for the conversations and gently offering to have another informal chat if he’d like? I don’t want to undermine the recruiter or come across as pushy, but I also don’t want to walk away from what felt like a real connection (which may have gone cold since our last meeting as it was a couple of weeks ago.) I did email him directly after our second interview and got a nice, thoughtful response.

Has anyone been in a similar situation? Would you reach out, or is it better to leave the ball entirely in his court?

Thanks in advance for your thoughts.

No, I wouldn't.

I can see why you want to, but if the conversations were as perfect and positive from his perspective, you wouldn't have got the feedback you've had from HR.

He could also have contacted you for a chat, or given you reasons, directly himself, as he's emailed you directly before and has your contact details...

I'm really sorry, because it's clear how much you want the role, and this sucks.

I wouldn’t bother. This sounds like a Bob problem not a you problem (he clearly hasn’t advertised the role properly etc), so I don’t think asking for feedback is going to get you anywhere.

Also sounds like a lucky escape tbh. Look elsewhere!

I would ask the recruiter to request more feedback. It’s not an unreasonable things to ask but it is a bit unprofessional to contact directly if previous contact has been via the recruiter.

No. But maybe add him on LinkedIn?

I'd have said yes, contact him, but then read you already have e mailed him once.
So definitely, no

I think I would reach out to him again. As you’ve already had some communication outside of the recruitment channel.

I wouldn’t ask him for an explanation or try to persuade him, just thank him for his time and consideration and wish him luck in finding the right person.

I don’t think it would get you anywhere, although I suppose you really don’t have anything to lose.

I’d probably email the recruiter saying that you thought it had gone really well and do they have any more specific feedback. But I wouldn’t be surprised if they don’t.

No they didn't have anything useful to add to be honest - just said they were also surprised given previous positive feedback after my second interview and that he 'must have just changed his mind' 🙄

he doesn’t feel he has yet met the “perfect person” for what is a demanding role.

On this basis he sounds like an idiot and I wouldn't engage with him any further. There's no such thing as the perfect candidate and as a recruiter, he should be able to choose the best person available from who he's seen.

Yeah there's a big bit of me agreeing with you there! Bob is the MD rather than a recruiter ..

Not sure I'd reach out to him directly, but I would ask the recruiter to provide more in-depth feedback from him. That is basic common courtesy after one interview, let alone two if I've understood your situation correctly.

I think it's extremely poor form when a candidate invests time and effort into a recruitment process only to be fobbed off like this. If that's the way he and his company operate, then you have probably indeed dodged a bullet. But I definitely push for more clarity.

I would ask the recruiter if Bob could provide feedback so that you can identify where you may have gone wrong and understand how to improve your presentation etc for future interviews

No leave it. His loss. As another poster pointed out, its a Bob problem. A sensible conversation won't solve it.

I've had an issue only 2 weeks ago with the outcome of a recruitment process. The agency involved agreed its ultimately a panel problem not a me problem.

You never know, Bob may reflect further down the line and change his mind when he sees some of the limited options he has.

So your email was after a second interview and then there was a third and final interview? Or was the second interview the final interview? Sorry, I'm not clear.

You can reach out to the recruiter but are only likely to get a bit more “fluff” about not being the perfect fit and Bob taking a pause on recruitment. There could be any number of other underlying reasons which you will never get to know such as the role might have been pulled due to financial constraints , the company might be just about to go through a restructure / take over. They could just be about to make someone else redundant from another part of the company and maybe looking to put them in the role.

I never ask for feedback. If they don't want me then fxxk them and their opinions :)

I had a teams interview followed by an in person. At the end of the in person it felt like he was pretty much going to offer me the job there and then (but had to go through the recruiter.) recruiter then followed up with - he's seen three people and you're the only one he likes BUT he has two more to see. Annoying but ok. I emailed him directly to say thanks etc, (encouraged by the recruiter) and got really nice warm response inferring that he was really stressed. Then long gap where he was away and then had to postpone one of the other interviews. And then finally today - sorry but none of you is a perfect fit! 🙄 I loved the company and what they do, it's a different industry but I'm a fast learner and v adaptable. Just seems such a waste when I know I'd do a great job. Sigh.

I was HR Director for a tech company and did hundreds of interviews and spent a lot of time liaising between the CEO and the recruiters.

My gut feeling is he was either testing the market to see what was out there or they've had second thoughts on what they want for the role. But regardless they don't feel you are the candidate for them.

The fact that it is in a different industry to the one you are experienced in is probably a big factor here. You say that you are a fast learner but that doesn't make any difference to them, you're effectively an unproven risk. You may be a fast learner but they don't know that and the wrong hire is an expensive and time consuming mistake.

Sorry but I think you've probably had your answer. Keep looking and good luck with the job hunting.

I wouldn't and you may seriously piss off the recruiter if you go around them - depends if you want to work with that recruiter again.

I'd ask the recruiter to reach out if you feel you must do something - they are trained in how to play these things and believe you me if there is even a 1% chance Bob will change his mind they'll be all over it.

But it sounds like Bob made his decision. Never assume things have gone well (to the point that you've got it), you just don't know what is going on in the hiring manager's head or what the real story is. Not uncommon for hiring managers to get cold feet at crunch time and it's a big decision to offer someone a job so it has to feel right for both sides. Obviously it didn't for him.

And all this 'it's a bob problem' stuff - well it's obviously not a problem for bob is it. He doesn't want to hire you - accept it graciously.

Sorry I have only just seen this as I had my head down - ironically making a job application of my own, so I do sympathise!

Thanks for clarifying and in which case I wouldn't contact him again. He was clearly impressed by you but I have known of situations in the past where in the process of interviewing people the recruiter (Bob as opposed to the third party service) has recognised that the role as advertised isn't actually what they need.

It sucks, particularly when you have put such an effort into the process. But it does happen. But I wouldn't want to work for someone who is so wishy washy that they essentially have run an important and business critical process in this way - it doesn't bode well for future employees really! I'm sure Bob is lovely, but is it good at recruiting? No, he is not!

Fingers crossed something even better comes along for you soon! 🙌

That sounds like it could be a potential excuse when something else eg financial issues has come up. I doubt going straight to him will have anything other than him thinking "thank goodness I said, 'no'; I really don't need this."

Or it could be that he knows just what he's looking for, or has had a bad experience in the past. Having had a bad experience with taking on someone who I didn't feel was really right, but they seemed keen and eager so thought we'd give them a try, I would rather pass than risk it.
And I have done; in all the interviews I've done since, I have been prepared to walk away from all the candidates if they aren't right.

But as you spotted in just doing interviews that he's an overthinker. I think you're overthinking it. 🤣

Op i literally came on mumsnet to ask a v similar question. I had interview yesterday after for applying for jobs for 2 years and it was the first interview I got. It was what else I felt, a perfect role that wouldnt come up often, and I left feeling positive however it was a no, someone else got it. I couldn't get my words out on the call and I got some good feedback and I also wondered if it was worth emailing them to thank them.

Another recruiter here - no, don't. The fact that you did it once - I assume it was directly to Bob - probably wasn't the best idea. I have certainly had unsuccessful candidates reach out to the employer via me to thank them for their time and keep them in mind for future opportunities and I pass that message on. That sometimes works.

Ultimately as per a PP, if this is an industry swap scenario, then you aren't perfect, you are a risk. Probably a very small one but depending on the organisation - and you can't know the whole story - it might be one they can't accept. Be professional