Finding full time work hard

[TidyPearlViewer]

I went back to work full time after maternity leave, I am a primary school teacher. I used to love my job but I am very burnt out. I am missing my daughter hugely. She goes to nursery and my husband works from home. I always collect her and am back at 5 for tea, bath and bed and keep weekends and holidays for her. I wish I had asked to do part time but I haven’t as I thought I could manage it. Is this guilt a feeling we all have, as mothers? I know that lots of people say working part time has its own issues - less money and also having to work on the days they aren’t meant to. I am considering requesting part time after Christmas due to mental wellbeing and also so I can have one day with my daughter a week but I’m a bit worried/nervous etc!! Please help. Should I ask GP for a letter to support? Recently had a diagnosis of CPTSD and severe anxiety. On Prozac to support

Is this only since the start of term, so three weeks? Those feelings are normal. I think most people miss their dc when they first go back to work. It should pass fairly quickly.

See how you feel at Christmas.

They are only little for such a short time.

I think it’s terrible woman have to choose.

I went back 4 days a week with the first and those days together were amazing.

I did the housework when she slept and we had such nicer weekends.

I was a stay at home mum when the twins arrived as childcare was in affordable.

We have a great relationship.

Its surprising how little you can live on when you try.

The guilty feelings are normal. I was a teacher and went back full time when my son was 6 months. It takes time. I’d give it a bit longer.

I would lap say, being a teacher, you look after other people’s kids far longer than your own- it’s a hard feeling.

I'm also a primary school teacher. I went back full time after 7 months of maternity leave.

I think that working full time and trying to be a good mum is very tiring (I left work earlier than I do now so that I could have time with my dd but then did a lot of work after she'd gone to bed) but there's absolutely no need for mum guilt.

The weekends and school holidays give you a lot of time with your dc.

My dd is now 23 and we're very close. There are things about my parenting that she's moaned about growing up (many of which she's changed her mind about as she's got older) but one thing that she has never said that she disliked was that I went out to work.

I don’t think you’re being unreasonable at all. I went back P/T after children, which was a few years ago, but even now none of my colleagues with children work full-time. They do two or three days a week. Some do 2 days in their plus an afternoon of PPA cover in another class.

You have options. Don’t feel pressured into working F/T if you can afford not to - particularly not as a teacher, as it’s bloody hard at the best of times!

I don't know how anyone works as a primary school teacher full time with young kids.
The planning/prep nearly killed me working full time without kids, never mind with.

2/3 days a week was my limit. I'm lucky my husband could support us financially. I really, really feel for anyone who is forced to work full time for the money, especially if it's affecting mental health.

The holidays are lovely, if you can get through the terms.

Some people are able to teach full time and have a young family, but I’m not one of them. I’d definitely recommend going part time.

I went back part time but became full time after a year and then picked up HOF role. (I never applied for it was kind of shoe horned in). A couple of years in and the money was great but both DP and I were exhausted.

Some people/teachers can manage to go back FT and make it work but, especially when the DC are young, it’s very hard and I think most mums do drop a day or even 2.

It’s OK to go back to work and ask to drop a day, if they say no then I suggest you look at out sourcing as much housework as you can - pay for a cleaner, gardener, buy some Cook ready meals as they’re pretty healthy, get someone to do your ironing.

It’s a massive shock going back to the chalk face after a maternity leave so don’t be hard on yourself.

I am a teacher and don’t think u could manage full time right now let along when my children were young. It’s an incredibly full on job which I don’t think people can fully understand unless they have done it. I wasn’t allowed breaks to express milk or given a place to do so (I had to eat, mark books and express with a foot against the door) . There is no flexibility and the hours are exhausting. I went back 3 days per week then 2 days after my second child. Haven’t gone full time again and they’re almost at secondary 😂

YANBU as teaching is very full on. I went PT but in secondary so was in over 4 days but different times over the 2 weeks. I think in primary it would be much easier to sort out & honestly you are better doing 0.6 and doing a good job than them forcing you to stay FT when you might end up getting ill & not being able to keep up with all the planning involved. My pension has taken a big hit - it’s quite low tbh. But I had time when they were little.

If it’s possible to go pt I definitely would.
Some people manage well ft, others don’t - it’s entirely individual. But if it’s something you can get and you want then it’s certainly better financially and career wise, than soldiering on then giving up entirely through burn out. I kept my 4 day a week even when DS was a teen as I liked the balance.

I don’t know how any mother can pull off full time work and enjoy motherhood when their children are so young. If you can afford to take the extra day off, do it. Your mental health sounds like it is suffering for one, and you sound overwhelmed. Trust your gut. Good luck.

I am not a teacher, my job is very different to that but I wanted to post that I can really relate to this. I went from 4 days to 5 (working shifts) when my exH left. My children were actually young teenagers by then but I found that first year grueling (I do not exaggerate when I use that word! I developed a much better understanding of how hard it must be for single parents. Massive respect to them all). Gradually, though, it did get easier. The house wasn't as tidy as I like it to be and I found that hard but I did slowly adjust to it.

Five years on from that, I now work 37 hours a week (as opposed to 40) in a 9-5 job and this makes such a difference to finish mid afternoon a couple of days a week.

I hope things settle down for you or you can find the right balance.

If you can afford to work less then work less, I can't imagine you'll ever regret it!

I would go part time with a view to going full time in a few years.

they are little for a very short time! It is precious time that you won’t get back.

I’m not a teacher but childcare is easier in nursery than it is when kids go to school I found. I stayed full time until DD went to school then rearranged my hours so that I still worked 5 days but finished early 2 days per week and could do pick up. It worked well for me.

i do think there’s a danger if the woman goes part time that she’s expected to take on the lion’s share of domestic drudgery without the compensation of pay and pension that full time work provides.

Is your husband doing his half of everything?