Keep wanting to leave every role i do, please advise

[Lookingforward9764]

I work in an office. I was a sahm for 14 years and have been back working for 2 years. I am on my 3rd job in these 2 years and want to leave the current one now too.
I think I have undiagnosed autism or adhd, there is definitely something going on but I've been able to cope with my normal daily life as not too much pressure but work just tips me over the edge.
I am a nice person, a good communicator, a people person. But I seem to get overwhelmed very easily with work load . This then starts to build up and then I get an overwhelming urge that I want to leave.
I know if I stayed and stuck it out I would get better at the job and more confident. But i can't get passed the urge to leave. It's so bad that when I'm there my head is telling me to get up and walk out over the smallest of things,.
I already work part time, really good hours. So a good work life balance. I have recently become disabled with a mobility problem that also effects what type of work I can do. I'm very limited.
What i want is to either not work at all (wishful thinking), work from home but I have no skills, be self employed (again I have no skills but one thing I've found is I hate being told what to do and be managed by someone ) or I want something that is easy to do..
I applied to work in Tesco but again by disability is holding me back and is only going to get worse because it's degenerative. I feel so downhearted about it all.i worry about it when I'm not in work and it effects my sleep.
Going into an actual work place just does not suit me at all.
Can anyone recommend anything else to try instead of office work?

Unfortunately there isn't a job where you don't have a boss, you're not told what to do or you do what you want and at your own pace only. Even self employed people have work pressures and deadline and annoying customers.

You might consider speaking to a therapist to find strategies in dealing with those feelings and overwhelm that comes from workload and pressure.

With a generative illness, your best best is an office based job where you can sit or stand during the day. If you stick it out and gain skills and experience and can work unsupervised, you then might be able to ask to work from home or find a job that is WFH.

You need to stick it out - 14 years is a long time to be out of the workplace so it's going to take time to get used to it again. If your work life balance is good then that's worth persevering for. As the PP suggested it would be worth exploring coping strategies with a therapist. If you stick with your current employer they will be able to make reasonable adjustments as your disability progresses (I'm sorry you have to deal with that too) whereas a potential new employer will wonder why you keep changing jobs and might not even interview you. Good luck.

I know it's just life and we have to go to work and just get on with it but it is destroying my mental health. Every morning I wake anxious and I'm dreading going in- every evening I'm dreading the next day.
Every weekend I'm upset as it's going too quick.and even Sunday afternoon I'm anxious and dreading the week ahead.
I can't do this for another 25 years!! I need money- I need to earn at least 1200 a month but I need to find an alternative way of doing it

Sure, I get that but you also need to be realistic and think long term. You could try childminding as a short term whilst your health is not too bad but long term you need to be active and in good physical health to run after kids all day
How about after school childcare? The kids would require less active involvement from you, more keeping them safe and fed? But again, that brings pressure and customers to keep satisfied.

Could you do that plus train in something that could become a work from home business later on? Customer service? Programming? Tutoring kids online?

Also, what are you doing to support with the anxiety? Have you spoken to a GP?

I don't have anxiety regarding anything else other than work.
When I'm off work I am great, I sleep well and feel well. When I'm at work I don't sleep and feel ill all the time.
I can't even manage a few months let alone years. I know i sound ridiculous.
I'm just looking for ideas where I could manage my own time, be my own boss rather than working for companies.
I've thought about selling on vinted as a business but don't think I would reach 1k a month that I need

Op i am very similar. Please don't do anything rash until you have sought counselling. You need to work and you need the cash. Please speak to somebody.

do you think you might have PDA? Might be a place to start to at least understand why you feel as you do?

Most people have daily annoyances in their jobs. Just tell yourself you are there for the money and buy yourself a small reward each week.

I would give up on office work. I used to manage around 2 years most of which was spent randomly bursting into tears at my desk for no apparent reason other than I was bored to tears .
I still remember thinking several times per day that I could just walk out and looking back I wish I had.
Always at around the 2 years mark I had a complete breakdown and was off work for a year.
I had in total 3 jobs like this and after the 3rd I swore I would never go back and that was 40 years ago.

It sounded so stupid that I couldn’t do this type of work. It was like Groundhog Day without being able to do the fun stuff without the consequences
Found out in my very late 50s that I have raging ADHD 9/9 in all areas

I would definitely get yourself tested for ADHD. And if you can take the medication (there are different types and strengths to try) it does help in a variety of ways. Equally unmedicated ADHD can lead to all sorts of issues

I mean, I also hate working and being told what to do and being managed. Have certainly been to the edge of burnout but
managed to make changes just in time. I just view it as tough tits as what's the alternative? If you think it's something more going on, I suppose you could speak to the GP but I wouldn't say "Hi I'm here because I don't want to work"! Obviously you wouldn't 😝 but was just imagining it.

Running a serious, profitable, small business is usually more stressful than having a job, so don't make any rash choices.

Thete aren't many jobs that are easy and don't involve being managed. One that comes to mind - in some of the roles - is office building reception. Get a quiet office block with your only responsibility being letting visitors in and out for the organisations based there, is boring but a doddle. One I visit regularly, the person on the reception sits and reads or plays games on her PC as she literally has nothing to do a lot of the time. Boring, but easy at the right location.

My dd is like this. Gets overwhelmed with work, can’t stand being told what to do.

She’sADHD.

I can relate. I am currently sticking out a job I absolutely hate and I am deeply unsuited to, I've been there 3 years. I am waiting for an ASD assessment, probably ADHD too tbh. My job is so basic, but I am too unfirt and fat to do it to the required speed, so my self-esteem is at rock bottom as I'm now a failed shelf-stacker(!)

This time of year seasonal jobs are popping up, I've seen a couple of work from home ones doing customer service. Have a look at the work from home hub UK website. But would you feel able to mange yourself effectively? As in would you get distracted by being at home. Would working for an agency doing short-term work suit you better? To reduce the trapped feeling?

I am neurodivergent OP and I have other health issues.

I have had a lot of problems in the workplace. The latest was to be sidelined and bullied when I disclosed my health issues and needed time off after a complete breakdown.

People who tell you to "stick to your job" simply don't understand how people with autism, ADHD and so on struggle in a work environment.

My way to cope is working part-time so I can also manage my conditions. A remote or hybrid job also helps and making sure you take any medication ( I am on antidepressant s) that might help. I also am no longer going to commit to permanent employment and will instead do freelance/short term contracts because I have lost faith in the idea that companies know how to support employees with disabilities or long term health conditions.

I would first see about getting an ND diagnosis and see if you are. Secondly, I would google any and every working from home job I could find. Thirdly, google ND suited jobs just in case you are.

Have you spoken to your GP about how you feel? Perhaps you do have ADHD and need help? They may be able to refer you.

OP are you me?? 👀
I could have written this. SAHM also for 14 years with a high earning husband but I have been back in the workforce for six years and am in my fourth job 😵‍💫 current job is a FTC in the NHS, a hideous reception role cannot wait to leave when my contract ends in March…literally counting down the weeks and stalking job websites daily. Nothing appeals. Have realised too late I have a peopley job when really can’t stand the general public but reception work is all I know.

Having said this am also dreading my contract coming to an end and not securing something else 🙁 I agree with PP short term contracts might be the way forwards to avoid feeling trapped.

Am in awe of folk who’ve built up successful careers/remained loyal to one employer for decades but it’s not for me.