Work demanding OH gives up holidays to go work -

[Donury236]

I am looking for advise on a situation. I am going to try and give some back story as It might be relevant.

OH works in job that requires AHDOC offshore - it is not scheduled as such. In the last 13 years I have been very very lenient in that if he gets called at 5pm to say offshore the next day I am fine with it. He has made this company a lot of profit, and currently he is the only on there that can do this job. He has been away doing this job solo on numerous occasions - it is and should be a 2 man job! They do sort of have someone now - however he is more of an 'office' guy...if you get my drift.

In July he was away for 1 month when it was meant to be 2 in order to get work approvals etc. Then the next trip we had something booked months before that he missed (first time that we had planned to go somewhere as a family since 2019).

Fine, he was getting paid so no biggy. When the client rep found out that he had misssed his holiday they literalyl said to him that they would never expect someone to miss a pre-arranged holiday.
They have then done 1 other trip away - this last trip the other guy did SFA manual labour and my partner spent 16hrs in the worksite in UAE heat without a break for food (he loo and liquid breaks). He then also got 4-5 hrs sleep before he had to get up and pack all the kit up as again, the other guys did SFA.

This is an ongoing contract...has a schedule etc. Well, as is usual in the OG industry, the clients schedule slipped, so when he was required changed. He wasn't well so the other guy went out last week. The other guy is NOT happy being out there alone - mainly as it would mean he has to work, and also it shows that he has done sod all to help the last few trips and thus cannot do the task. The only other employee cannot go as females are not permitted to work in this worksite in this country - and they have also never been offshore to actually physically do the job, so no real hands on experience.

They want him out there NOW.

However, He has something booked with our eldest and their friend on Friday. Something that to attend would mean going to the USA (or OZ next year) if they miss this one. He has the day booked as a holiday before they said they needed him and it was approved.
Also, his dad is over from OZ. He comes back to the UK/EU for like 4-5 months every other year. We as a family cannot afford to go over there (and I cannot fly that far due to medical issues).
We are meeting them as they are here for a wedding this weekend. He has not seen his dad in over a year.

He has said to them that he can go on Sunday or Monday, but NOT this week.

He has a day off today and is spending it with out kids in town. 2 people from his work asked to meet him for coffee to discuss the situation - in which they were pointing out how much money the company would lose if he doesn't go (I mean ok he loses day rate, but they lose 92% more as he only gets 8% of what they charge the client). He has told them he needs to speak to me....I have final say.

What I have said is they can have him next Monday or they can have him in November when he is signed fit to work as he actually now has anxiety over this as they keep trying to get him to change his holidays, they say they will compensate him for what he misses - completely missing the fact you cannot reimburse time with your children which is what he wants. He is terrified of letting our eldest down.
He has been in tears every day for the last week and I have been up at night with him whilst he is restless. So this is affecting me as well as him. But also not to mention that his father actually has a genetic heart condition that can be made worse by stress apparently - so he is also freaking out that freaking out is going to make him really really ill.

I have been very forgiving for the last 13 years, but now that's the eldest in S5 and the youngest in S1, he has had an epiphany and realizes that time with them is limited.

My thinking is that what can they do if he says no?

Fire him - no as none of them can do the job!
Discipline him - no as he has proof that its affecting his health.

This is also after his boss has been trying the softly softly approach saying he appreciate him, they do value him (aye, but don't pay him market wages for his position!).

Am I being unreasonable expecting them to honour his holidays and just wait 6 or 7 days??

I mean, its not HIS fault that the other guy refused to learn how to do the job.

I think the more they push, the shorter and more to the point the message back should be. He has explained it to them. He has told them his reasons. Next time, I would be shorter - I am available this day or that day, I have been in the same situation this person is in and was expected to manage it and I am happy to be there on xx day. Then I would be going to - I can be there on this day. And keep repeating. Dont give them room to argue.

I’d definitely be angling for the ‘it’s clear this other engineer does not have the skills required that I do….I’ll need to be senior engineer….’
with the title and pay rise to go with it.
then use that inflated pay/job to get his next new role elsewhere.

Everyone quoting the law and the rules - this is the O&G industry and higly likely OPs husband is employed by an international company. Uk rules won’t apply.

Get him back to the doctors and get him signed off. They can't sack him. This level of pressure is making him ill and if if continues he should look for other work, even if it pays less.

Nobody ever said on their deathbed that they wished they’d spent more time at work.

It sounds like he is actually in a very strong position here. They need him. He can use that to negotiate not only a higher salary but his time off too.

You say he isn't being paid market rate for doing the job. Why on earth not? I think now is the time to say No, quote back that he gave up a booked holiday previously, that his colleague needs to up his game and oh BTW I expect a pay rise to £x.

Sounds like his colleague is being exploited and put in dangerous positions, he’s been employed in a desk-based position. He’s not useless he’s just trying to be forced to do tasks he’s not trained for from what you say.

sounds like a shady operation.

Sounds like the company are a bunch of greedy bastards employing too few staff at too low wages and not caring about their wellbeing, not to mention going back on their word.

Id refuse to meet them for coffee. there is no point as he’s not fit to work as he is sick.

id look for a new job asap.

id enjoy family time in the meantime.

Id you keep being the nice guy they will use and abuse you. Happened to my friend, an airline pilot. They kept asking him to do extra. More and more. It was too much and broke him. No job is worth your health or your sanity. What if he collapses out there or that other guy does when he’s alone. It’s not right. They are at it. Fuck them.

Renew the mortgage asap while Hes still employed if any fears he might not gwt another job soon.

I wouldn’t be

He needs to be able to take holiday. It's a legal entitlement.

I think this is the answer if his skills are so much in demand.
Also, despite the technicalities about the holiday cancellation, it sounds like really he holds all the cards and there’s not a lot they can do if he insists on having his holiday.
The more serious thing is his health and whether he might be heading for a breakdown.

OP the thing that stuck out to me was the fact you can’t afford to go to OZ for a family holiday. So he’s doing all this for what? He doesn’t even seem to be getting paid well for it?

New job needed asap.

Assuming he had leave booked for the whole of this week, and he is employed in the UK, it’s too late for them to cancel Friday’s leave, as they need to give twice the number of days’ notice than the number booked. If I’ve read this right he was already on leave today so if this is a continuous block they don’t have a legal leg to stand on.

He needs to stand up for himself, tell them that the chocolate teapot colleague needs training or sacking, and that since they aren’t even meeting the minimum paid leave requirements at present due to their inability to manage in his absence, he wants a pay raise and for them to sit down together and come up with some workable rules around what he can do where and at what notice, as well as addressing the skills gap within the company.

His employer is fucked without him, and so he needs to use the position of relative strength he’s in to get better working conditions while he looks for another job.

There are several parts to this:
This trip
Anxiety
Holiday use in general.

I think I'd start with

Dear Boss, as you acknowledged in your message of X, I have frequently put plans in hold for the business. Unfortunately this block of Holiday I have attempted to book has 2 unmovable events happening, and as previously stated I will be unable to travel until Y.

On my return from my pre booked and approved leave, I would like to have a discussion with you about enabling me to use my annual leave allowance each year.

And get him back to the GP

I'd play this different and actually go.
But at the same time gathering evidence of contact from colleagues during his time off and the incompetence of the other engineer. Then have a meeting afterwards when things have calmed down a bit. Dress the other engineer up as needing more training and luck of experience and looking at a more senior role & pay for supporting him.
As for booked time off, he needs to discuss how important rest periods are especially in an ad hock fast paced environment. Try and find a solution where he should book leave say 4-8 weeks in advance and the same applies to cancel this for the employer.

I know, this can be tricky and comes with its own issues but at least you are able to plan family time.

Also, he is entitled to emergency care for DC ... time to have a re think!

Obviously, the end goal is another job but it's worth seeking a solution for the current employment.

Agree.

OP stated the other person isn’t an engineer and hasn’t been employed as such, they’ve been employed to do a desk based role alongside the engineer.

I often end up working a bit on holiday, but that goes with the territory for client facing work. But nothing like this - employer is being incredibly unreasonable.

Assuming your DH is employed in the UK then I would say he should stand his ground. He sounds unwell - all those tears, problems sleeping etc suggest a LOT of anxiety. He needs to be able to take his holiday. It is a statutory entitlement. Call the Acas helpline if you need to understand what the law is on this. Plus he needs a proper payrise PRONTO!

I am not sure I have fully understood this.
He is working off shore oil and gas in the Emirates? The job is so important that only he can do it. Someone else has been em

the crux is yes they can do this as do many other employers police for example

ether accept it or leave

Just say 'no'.

You say that the company would not survive if your DP left, so there's your/his answer..." you either let me have my holiday or I walk away, which would you prefer?".

they were pointing out how much money the company would lose if he doesn't go (I mean ok he loses day rate, but they lose 92% more as he only gets 8% of what they charge the client

Look at that the other way round,. Why should he ruin his relationships and his life for something where they will take 92% of the profits? If they're so dependent on him, they should be paying him 50% and honouring his holidays into the bargain.

He needs to set strong boundaries and stick to them. Starting with only going on Monday.

It sounds like he deserves a massive pay rise!