Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Work

Chat with other users about all things related to working life on our Work forum.

Work Place Grievance

7 replies

Kingsleysmum123 · 22/09/2025 13:00

Right all, so have been having issues at work for a while. A lot has been going on with my personal life/family situation.

Just to bring people into the picture, I was away due to sickness for 6 months and returned back to work. Sorry this is a slightly more involved one, a longer read.

To return to the event, I asked if we could resolve the dates regarding my return, with the idea to simply enable me to have three full days where I can adapt to the new personnel & restructuring of my colleagues dropping to permanent part-time. During my asking he began to raise his voice, I was situated across the table in the middle of the room.

He proceeded to pick up a large box, whilst swearing openly at me & then threw the item across the room. During this he said 'I am on the same f*ing medication as your', referring to medication that I mentioned initially during my period on sick leave.

I mentioned this in full confidence that it would not be brought up & or especially in this instance wherein my line-manager would attempt to both verbally attack my person whilst appearing to refer to my medication.

He also inferred that I was attempting to intimidate him (????), despite all my efforts to get some resolution of my phased return. Again, I was situated across the table, having only stated that my emails of Tuesday needed to be deal with promptly today, otherwise I would have no clarity going into the next week.

He proceeded to get closer to me, carrying on swearing and referring to the fact that he was going to 'leave now' & return home, whilst all the while attempting to suggest I had caused this serious outburst.

During this, he also suggested that I should 'f**k myself'. He additionally raised my height and size, noting that 'I am much bigger than him' implying that I was somehow using this to leverage my position (i am a tall, slightly larger woman). I was pretty shocked by inferring my physical person needlessly again whilst all I wanted to discuss was my RTW.

Not only am I shocked he raised this, but I was got the implication he was referring to my size negatively which does not help my already longstanding issue with body dysmorphia.

He also referred to my messaging him outside of work hours, I was given this phone number under the impression it was a work phone.

Again, the stress of not knowing my dates of return, the general confusion of my phased return beginning and what appeared to be incompetence was the prompt for the message.

He mentioned one message I sent which included me thanking him for the meeting of 6/01/25 and mentioning my work shoes that him himself requested that I send him.

There was no mention of anything else. Further messages referred to mentioning an informal meeting with a Unison rep & missing uniform.

Whilst referring to these events he proceeded to swear, said that I was 'harassing him' & referred to me being 'smart, very smart & manipulative' & that I had ensure that this had happened, in fact had known 'how to press (his) buttons'.

Again, from wavering between suggestions of harassing him (all my communications above board and reasonable), implying that was 'manipulative' was again deeply concerning considering the length of time & the responsibility that he holds.

I was beyond deeply shocked by the whole situation, I did not immediately leave until ensuring that speak to my partner over the phone.

I believe this is a serious form of grievance against my person. Involving a total abuse of power, implying serious accusations which are unsubstantiated & amount to an attempt to instigate conflict on a worker whom is returning due to stress & work-related issues.

What are peoples opinions and what are the next steps do you think?

OP posts:
Wobblestick · 22/09/2025 13:04

If you raise a grievance you need to know what outcome you want. So start there. The formal grievance is for if you can't achieve that informally.

Also, you need to be very objective about his complaints about you because the most likely initial outcome is that he'll also raise a grievance.

TallulahLikesHoola · 22/09/2025 13:06

Where do you work that you need to message about your shoes?

Thelonelydonkey · 22/09/2025 13:09

Swearing and throwing things his not acceptable work place behaviour, so yes I would escalate. Assume he's your line manager? Who's the next person up

ThirdStorm · 22/09/2025 13:25

I think I'd be making a complaint to his manager in writing about the way he conducted the meeting. Explain it was a simple to return to work planning meeting but he swore, didn't attempt to discuss what you needed or how that would be facilitated (in fact made it about himself) and you will need assistance to resolve and ideally wouldn't be alone with him at a future meeting until things improve.

Kingsleysmum123 · 22/09/2025 16:42

TallulahLikesHoola · 22/09/2025 13:06

Where do you work that you need to message about your shoes?

I work in a mailroom, so I have to have complaint shoes for the job due to H&S. They have seriously underfunded the whole department for so long, causing many disruptions. One of the few (what i believed to be) simple processes was the purchasing of new shoes but turns out not tobe.

OP posts:
WeightLossGoal2024 · 22/09/2025 20:48

He sounds unhinged! Any witnesses?

Kingsleysmum123 · 22/09/2025 23:51

WeightLossGoal2024 · 22/09/2025 20:48

He sounds unhinged! Any witnesses?

So no, no witnesses. I was really taken aback by it all. I didn’t know what to do, responded almost to ensure he didn’t violently go off. I had no clue what his next move was. I immediately reported it to a union member subsequently, as one of the MN noted as penning it as soon as possible. Although it doesn’t substantiate witness certainly puts it in a time/date/context.

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page