And I feel utterly sick at the prospect.
It's not the first time. It will be the third time leading a process in my current role, and I have been involved in processes in other companies, although I didn't lead them back then. I know what to do. I know how to do it. And I know I have to do it.
But I feel heartbroken. No one is doing a bad job (and if they were that would be easier as performance management is much less emotionally harrowing, as a manager). It's a team of brilliant hard working people. But the ongoing weak economy has hit the business hard and the size we are at isn't sustainable.
It's a small business so I know everyone very well. I know all about their illnesses, their husbands' career struggles, the problems their kids are having, their mental health struggles. Absolutely none of this can be factored in. Of course it can't. But it makes it so difficult to put people through a process.
I know how to break the news, I know how to run the meetings.
What I was hoping for is advice from people that have to do it - how do you reconcile it? I keep saying to myself that it's for the good of everyone else, that there needs to be a viable business to support some of us, but it's not cutting much mustard third time around.
And people who have been made redundant - what helped? What didn't?
I'll pull on my big girl pants and get through, but right now, I'm just gutted.