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Original poster

Can’t find a return to work job

38 replies

FeckedInFrance · 16/09/2025 14:18

Simply that really. Had a “high profile” job in the media, left to live abroad for DH’s career and raise DCs. Managed a few part time roles along the way, nothing in my industry, PA, teaching English etc just to keep my brain ticking over rather than more money. But now I’m in a position where DH has been made redundant and I need to go back to work for money. Only I cannot secure a job. I am applying for everything. Just been refused for a job as a dinner lady, grateful to receive an actual reply as I have applied to so many positions and received nothing more than an automated ‘thanks for applying’ response. We’re London based, I’m almost 50. I have no more energy to cry. Any help or support is welcome.

OP posts:
XelaM · 17/09/2025 11:26

AI training jobs. I've seen people on Mumsnet mention those

roses2 · 17/09/2025 11:32

Lafufufu · 17/09/2025 03:14

I dont know if this helps or not but even for people who have stayed in work the market is pretty brutal. I last interviewed in 2019 and was unpleasantly shocked!!!

Media and advertising is tough right now there are jobs but huge competition you need to be a fairly perfect match to land roles.

You are also an an age demo that is discriminated against / disliked. Very very crudely you're viewed as expensive but out of touch. (Recruiters have directly said this - its their words not mine)

Your dh has a much better chance of getting an equivalent role so should be applying aggressively. He needs to be at it morning noon and night and he should use AI to check his ATS score vs the Job descriptions before applying and optimising his CV (sensibly). Any expectation by either of you that you'll walk back into a job paying X after over a decade as a trailing spouse is unfair and unrealistic.

Back to you....
In your shoes I'd be having coffees with people I used to work with as peers or a subordinate and seeing if I can get hired in under them as part of their team. Eg Someone newish (under 18m) in role as global head of blah will want "trusted people" they've worked with before in the team not just 25 "strangers". You might be able to make yourself useful.

You wont get anywhere with cold applications of your cv imo, the market is too competitive right now so id be "leveraging my network" I know it feels cringe but you just have to lean into it.

Edited

My husband got made redundant in April 2024. He is doing exactly as you suggest but is still unemployed.

So whilst it is good advice, the fact remains the market is shit for the unemployed.

Itisabeautifulday · 17/09/2025 11:33

FeckedInFrance · 17/09/2025 11:14

Already applied to EasyJet and they are recruiting for next summer but not yet active so currently waiting. Also tried BA but nothing at the moment.

I’ve tried dog walking. It was a short lived career, just one week. One trip to A&E and a tetanus vaccination later I decided not to continue.

Thanks for your help, thanks everyone I feel so much better having shared my dilemma. I’ll get there, will keep you posted, Police jobs require loooooooong applications so working on that today

Show quote history

Thanks for the information reg Easyjet.

It seems you are trying everything. I hope something comes up soon.

I am also job hunting, trying to keep my spirits up; there is not a lot I can do apart from keep trying and trying to stay positive.

A friend moved to Qatar as her husband couldn’t find a well paid job in the UK. He was finding it quite depressing. Another one moved to Und Arab Emirates.

Are you both claiming job seekers?

Lafufufu · 17/09/2025 11:54

roses2 · 17/09/2025 11:32

My husband got made redundant in April 2024. He is doing exactly as you suggest but is still unemployed.

So whilst it is good advice, the fact remains the market is shit for the unemployed.

Show quote history

Completely agree, the market is very tough
... I have never seen anything like it.

My personal theory is its a combo of the new layer of AI in recruiting combined with the heavy layoffs. Managers and Directors are scared.
most have very little job security and know they are one bad hire away from them or their team being labelled "below expectations". As a result (anecdotally) a lot of new hires are people who are either first or second degree contacts and are "known quantities".

I also found i can only get interviews to do the exact same ultra niche job I currently do - any kind of deviation and its an autoreject...

As an a side... mid or senior hires generally have 3 months notice in my industry... I've been on 3 months notice periods for over a decade.... but pretty much anyone in know who is moving is going onto new contracts with 1 month notice only!!!!
I think this is sign of things to come job security is going to become i thing of the past and instability will become the norm.

Original poster
FeckedInFrance · 17/09/2025 12:41

Itisabeautifulday · 17/09/2025 11:33

Thanks for the information reg Easyjet.

It seems you are trying everything. I hope something comes up soon.

I am also job hunting, trying to keep my spirits up; there is not a lot I can do apart from keep trying and trying to stay positive.

A friend moved to Qatar as her husband couldn’t find a well paid job in the UK. He was finding it quite depressing. Another one moved to Und Arab Emirates.

Are you both claiming job seekers?

Show quote history

No not claiming job seekers. We have assets, I don’t think we qualify. Will run it by DH though. One thing we are doing is not continually updating each other, so DH is upstairs and I am downstairs and we avoid each other until the end of the afternoon so as not to distract etc

OP posts:
EasternStandard · 17/09/2025 12:42

So hard. The climate is terrible which doesn’t help. Some sectors have returnships which sound good but if the one you used to be in doesn’t it’s really tough.

Itisabeautifulday · 17/09/2025 13:12

FeckedInFrance · 17/09/2025 12:41

No not claiming job seekers. We have assets, I don’t think we qualify. Will run it by DH though. One thing we are doing is not continually updating each other, so DH is upstairs and I am downstairs and we avoid each other until the end of the afternoon so as not to distract etc

Show quote history

I don’t think job seekers is means tested.

Try to get out of the house, go for walks, read, self training, etc so job hunting is not so consuming. I appreciate it must be hard with both of you unemployed. Best of luck for you both, hopefully something will come up soon.

notatinydancer · 17/09/2025 13:30

Have you looked on local NHS site ? Your local ambulance trust will be a different site.
eg mine is South Central.
It’s worth getting in touch as they may not always advertise jobs.

Octaviathethird · 17/09/2025 14:24

You can claim jobseekers for 6 months regardless of assets but you do have to sign a claimant commitment, attend the job centre and search for jobs for 35 hours a week. My husband is about to be made redundant, which is difficult as he is 63 so not easily employable, but we don't quite have enough for retirement, it's really stressful trying to figure out how we will stretch our income. Hope you manage to find something soon.

Gardendiary · 17/09/2025 14:52

Lafufufu · 17/09/2025 11:54

Completely agree, the market is very tough
... I have never seen anything like it.

My personal theory is its a combo of the new layer of AI in recruiting combined with the heavy layoffs. Managers and Directors are scared.
most have very little job security and know they are one bad hire away from them or their team being labelled "below expectations". As a result (anecdotally) a lot of new hires are people who are either first or second degree contacts and are "known quantities".

I also found i can only get interviews to do the exact same ultra niche job I currently do - any kind of deviation and its an autoreject...

As an a side... mid or senior hires generally have 3 months notice in my industry... I've been on 3 months notice periods for over a decade.... but pretty much anyone in know who is moving is going onto new contracts with 1 month notice only!!!!
I think this is sign of things to come job security is going to become i thing of the past and instability will become the norm.

Show quote history

I’ve found this too. It’s interesting that no-one will take the slightest chance that you might be capable of doing something with a similar skill set. I’ve found that I can only get interviews for my exact same job somewhere else. Another friend has found the same, he just couldn’t break into a new field and had to return to the area he was trying to leave. I don’t think this was always the case, it just seems particularly tough now.

3oldladiesstuckinalavatory · 17/09/2025 15:07

I'm in a similar position and have just left HE after 4 years working in a university, teaching my now redundant TV skills. That industry is also on its knees, and with teenage kids myself, I found it just too depressing to continue in a zero hours contract, whilst all the support was cut and a now nine year pay freeze continued. I don't recommend a pivot to lecturing. 😣

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