About to resign through stress

[sunnyday2025]

Really need some advice as I can’t think straight through stress and exhaustion.

Last year I got divorced after a very traumatic 5 years and quickly realised my part time retail job wasn’t going to pay the bills. I managed to get a full time admin job with our local council. Low pay but good perks.

I knew I should really ditch the retail job but for lots of reasons something in me told me to cling on.

18 months later and I am on the brink of going off with stress for the 2nd time from the council job. The role was originally covered by 3 people but it was amalgamated and it’s now just me.

I am on the brink of resigning as cannot continue under this level of stress. I have voiced my concerns to my manager several times but nothing changes. There’s a culture of blame and negativity. Support is woefully lacking.

I literally have had enough and can’t cope with much more. I am also mindful I have been there less than 2 years so don’t have any rights.

Thinking about options I could leave and do overtime in my retail job whilst I looked around.

Is this madness? I’m mid 50s and there are obvious perks to working for a council but at what cost? I own my own home and don’t have a mortgage.

I have been looking to try and move to a new role internally but there is nothing and I can’t continue like this.
i spoke to the EAP yesterday but not approached HR as yet.

This is really tempting right now!

I think this. If you can change your mindset then this is the way forward. You can't control the amount of work they give you. You can however control how you react to it. Can you make a 'can't possibly do without an assistant' pile? And one something is in that pile it isn't your problem.

Don't try and do everything.

Speak with your manager , have a list of tasks required. Tell them you dont have the resources (time) to do them all, and can they help you prioritise.

Move the pressure to the manager.

Local gov? What does your union rep say?

You’ve got your home and no mortgage, so you’re in a stronger position than many. Perks just aren’t worth your health.

I would prioritize tasks for the day. Then record what you've done daily.

I wouldn’t leave but I would fight tooth and nail to pass the two year mark and stick it out for 6 more months. Then I would be going to HR and management with a meeting request. Jobs in the council will have longstanding benefits that retail doesn’t have and once you have been there two years you are protected in a way you are not now.

I would leave the retail job as it is easier to pick that back up again but maybe you would be a lot less stressed if you were not doing it too. If you can afford to resign from retail and see how that helps you manage the stress of the council job then you could get Christmas shifts back in retail and breath a bit in between to figure out which job you want to keep on

It is a lot easier to move sideways in the Council than it is to secure the job in the first place too

sorry it is so hard

I would say don’t leave until you have something else lined up, if you can manage it.

I would also agree with PP about not putting it on yourself to get excessive work done.

Many companies also have the same issue with old systems and not enough staff. I had this at my previous company and with a shit manager.

I had a meeting with her to take her through my workload, each individual task, explained why it wasn’t possible for me to do everything, asked her what she would like me to prioritise and we agreed i should not taken on any further projects that week.

The next day she tried to give me another project during a team call so i had no issue telling her we had agreed i should not be given any further work. ‘Fine, i’ll do it then’ was her response.

Sounds like a management issue. Your manager needs to step up.

Are you in a Trade Union? If not join and speak to them before HR. HR are on the employer's side. The Union should represent you.

So are you working full time in the admin job then doing retail at weekends?

If you're going to resign you don't really need by rights. Just resign and do something else. Some jobs just don't suit some people.

No job is more worth than your health. I rather rent a room somewhere with my health intact than have my health ruined due to stress

Will you really be able to manage retail when you're 60+? Very physical and demanding roles i think you need to think long term. If it was me I'd get signed with stress for a month and look for admin jobs at universities or nhs which offer similar perks.

OP I would start by raising the issues in N email to your manager and copy HR into it. Make it clear your workload is not manageable and is affecting your health.

Also stop trying to do everything and every time remind your manager that you are only able to complete a specific number of tasks each week and stick to your boundaries.

Long term I would leave though. A chaotic and toxic workplace is just going to destroy your health and self confidence.I would use your current experience to apply for jobs in the civil service.

I would also book some time off to recover and start your job search

That could be a plan. Or even sign up with a tempting agency which might give you access to new employers.

On the retail, lots of people working in e.g. M and S seem to be 60 plus. Maybe it depends where you work, but don't think I would rule it out after 60.

Hi OP, I’m not in HR or law but I’ve supported a few colleagues in similar situations to you and a few managers who haven’t done a great job supporting their team.

I think you have quite a bit of power here - even if it doesn’t feel like you do. Your manager will not want you to go off on work related stress - LA HR departments usually get very twitchy when someone says this. I know you mention not being there for two years but in LAs it’s very hard to dismiss someone on performance after they have passed their probation. They won’t be able to do it if you’re doing a job previously done by three people.

You are thinking of leaving anyway so you really don’t have anything to lose by talking to them.

In my experience managers do better when they realise someone has some knowledge around employment law so it might be helpful to talk to ACAS or your union to get some wording and ask for a meeting or put your concerns in an email. If you go for a meeting make notes and follow it up with an email confirming your notes with them.

Have a look at your job description - are you doing anything beyond your job description? LA jds are notoriously vague so probably not - but if you are point this out if you are.

If any policies or procedures have not been followed e.g. you haven’t had an annual appraisal and you should have one or you had an agreement to have regular support meetings and you haven’t had them this doesn’t look good for your manager.

Are you working for social workers or ex teachers by any chance? In my experience when people haven’t worked in an admin role they have unrealistic expectations about what you can achieve. In some departments there’s also a ‘let the admin do it’ culture which is disrespectful and not teamwork - if you have organisational values and they include teamwork and respect use these.

My last point is you are possibly the only person not saying no. See it as part of your job to say no if it’s not realistic.

Sorry for my thought dump - I’m on a train and it possible is full of typos, but hope it helps.

Tbh, I’d stick with the council job. A pension of 10k a year is really good for a job you won’t have been doing that long. But only work your set hours, and if things don’t fit in the schedule, then they’ll have to wait. Log everything.

she just said no dc!

Oh dear

You need to reread 😆

This. I was in HR and it is exactly the advice I would have given.

Thank you…I did have a look over my job description yesterday and it appears I am being expected to do several tasks above my pay band. specific finance tasks from a higher band are where most of my stress comes from.

My job description says I am required to just to raise purchase orders and pay invoices.
However there is a general expectation that I manage and chase outstanding debt, also raise invoices for cusotners, most of which are hideously complicated and too easy to make serious mistakes with. Most of the time I work through it on a wing and prayer but when it goes wrong it goes REALLY WRONG! I have had basic training but it no way relates to the complexity of this work. All of this work is part of a higher band job description.

i never get any encouragement or support, made to feel stupid when I have to repeat questions and just get criticised when I raise concerns

Just a quick update. Finally spoke to HR who made the right noises but alluded to it probably ending up with the job being re banded to a higher grade.
They see these tasks as needing to be done and pretty much I should welcome a potential promotion.
i don’t feel that would solve the situation and realistically the expectations would just increase.