Struggling 8 months after return to work

[smldnlove]

I don’t really know what I’m looking for here. Maybe just some mums/dads who have gone through the same or are in the same phase of returning to work, so I feel less like the problem!!

I had my wonderful DS in December 2023 and had just over a year off on maternity leave, returning fully in Jan this year. I have absolutely no idea what I’m doing with my career, having completely lost my confidence.

Ive always had quite a clear idea of my career, working initially in Marketing and in the non profit sector, and now in Communications within financial services. I assumed I’d return to work and pick up where I left off but my passion and motivation for work is currently at rock bottom and I also have very little career direction in my current role. I’m not enjoying my current job and looking elsewhere but I have no clue what I’m good at anymore or what to apply for. It all looks far too complicated and pressurised.

My son is now in nursery 3 days a week and we have family support with childcare 1 day a week so I feel I have time to dedicate to work but mentally, I feel so disconnected and quite hopeless about it.

It’s all making me feel as though my life is going nowhere and quite miserable to be honest. Has anyone felt similar?? Is it just a part of returning to work and losing the mum identity?? Any reassurance or perspectives welcome!!

Yes, I do think it's part of returning to work, especially as you had quite a long time off work. Especially if you're planning to have another DC relatively soon. I struggled massively when I went back after DC2 - not helped by my department structure changing during my maternity leave so that I essentially went back to a completely different team/ context at my organisation. In all honesty, I don't think I ever got my mojo back, and I took voluntary redundancy 8 years later and I'm currently in the process of a career change. I kind of wish I'd done it sooner, but I coudn't have done it without the safety net of a decent redudancy payment...

Having little career direction in your current role won't help (by that do you mean no guidance from line manager(s)? Or no room for growth?). Do you have a mentor at work? If not, can you get one (either within or without your organisation)? I think if I'd had more mentorship/ guidance and felt like there was someone rooting for me, that would have really helped me reconnect with work. As it was, I always felt a bit adrift and on the outside of things in my dept...

Thanks for your message @redundancyregrets - good to hear you have been through something similar. Definitely feel like women returning to work often fall through the cracks especially in big companies. My issue with my current role is that there is no real progression track and no clarity from management of where to go from here. I also don’t want to progress in comms tbh!!

Your suggestion on a mentor or coach is a good one, my mum also suggested this to me and I am going to look into this! I almost feel like I just need someone to tell me what to do with my life 😂

good luck on your career change - this sounds positive and brave to take the plunge. I may end up doing the same!