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Is my colleague jealous of me?

1 reply

Habesha91 · 03/09/2025 07:00

I have been working with my colleague for about 5 years now. From the moment we met, she started talking a lot of personal stuff about her like her whole relationship drama and I was overwhelmed. She then tried to be my friend straightaway and asked for my contact. I agreed as I didn't think anything of it. After then, she would call and text me all the time and we went into a habit of almost talking on the phone everyday.

Fast forward, I tried to keep a distance and she got the idea and backed off for a bit. We then kept our friendship let's say in a good way without being too much as we see each other at work. After few years I told her I'm getting marrie when I told her she seemed happy. After 2 or 3 months of announcing my wedding she told me she's getting married as well and her wedding would be a month before mine. I was taken back because when I asked if she wanted to get married she told me she's not bothered and she's ok just living with her partner.

After couple of months of being married, I took off my engagement ring as it was getting damaged when doing housework and left only the wedding bang. After like couple of weeks, she took off her engagement ring as well saying she's got skin reaction and can't wear it anymore!! She's now even planning to go to the same holiday destination I've been two months ago and the other one she was going to was also the place where my husband is originally from.

She also have some fertility issues as she older and she hates this other colleague who is currently pregnant. When the other colleague announced her pregnancy, she couldn't hold her anger and was and still jealous. Made me realise would she be jealous if happen to be pregnant too? Not that I want but makes me concerned.
At this point, I felt like she was copying things I do and didn't like it at all. The other thing I don't like is that she's always gossiping about people and telling me stuff about other colleagues in the office. She's close to this lady yet she talks about her to me. Makes me think that maybe she does it about me too?

I really don't know how to keep a distance and not deal with her anymore. At this point it is getting too much. She's also the type who drains your energy with all the stuff happening in her life. For example,if her mum or husband gets ill or if something bad happens she calls to moan about it. I know it might be too late to keep boundaries at this point but I can't deal with her anymore. I'm now considering looking for another role so that I can get away from her.

OP posts:
AncientHarpy · 03/09/2025 11:19

I don't think the question is whether your odd colleague is jealous, but why you befriended someone you don't appear to like or respect for five years.

Surely common sense will tell you that you don't exchange contacts with a new colleague you've just met before getting to know them and deciding whether they're someone you want to be friends with or not. Your entire dilemma is bound up with your own original poor decision.

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