Page 14 | New employee (Gen Z} doesn’t want to meet in person

outofofficeon · 2025-09-01T21:14:31+00:00

I took on a graduate for a new position, she’d been job hunting for a few years, I felt good about giving her a hand up into a great career. She lives about an hour away so works remotely. She bright and polite and reliable and a good member of the team. The problem I have is that she doesn’t want to visit the office in person or meet her colleagues in person, I offered to put her up in a nice hotel and pay travel costs so that she could spend a few days with us in person. She declined. My latest issue is that she doesn’t put her camera on when we are communicating at work as part of daily work or chats. I understand she might not be very confident but I think that you have to get out of the house / your comfort zone if you want a career. im not sure what to do- any advice oh wise ladies.

Cherrytree86 · 02/09/2025 14:42

TrickyD · 02/09/2025 13:29

As she has only been employed for a short time with few rights, can you not simply sack her and start again with a more specific contract and a new employee?

Yeah, I think I’d be inclined to do this too OP

Cherrytree86 · 02/09/2025 14:47

At the end of the day it’s not hard - you press a button and that switches your camera on. Op isn’t asking for something outrageous. She should put her camera on for meetings etc. end of.

ChanelBoucle · 02/09/2025 14:59

Jeez, stop tiptoeing around and show her who’s boss, op. I have two Gen Z daughters and they would know this behaviour is unprofessional and rude. We all have to do things we don’t want to from time to time, it’s life.

Speak to her first, obviously, to find out what the issue is. But hold your ground and be the adult here.

HarrietBond · 02/09/2025 15:23

tomatoestartary · 02/09/2025 14:40

They're not entitled to accommodations unless they have a disability, and even then they have to be reasonable. No one is (legally) entitled to work. There's nothing to suggest that the OP's employee has a disability and it's not on OP to sort out the UK's unemployment problem. The employee may have a personal preference to not have her camera on/never come to the office at all, but that's only the OP's problem to the extent that it will take time and money to hire someone new.

Of course if the employee has a legal right to reasonable accommodations, then never coming to the office might be one of those, but it would not be easy to establish absent accessibility issues or a severe mental health condition. I can't see what disability might justify never having to turn your camera on, but I'm sure it's possible.

I say this as someone who does have an accommodation to work remotely due to a disability. I only take advantage of it when I feel I genuinely need it, partly because I don't want to take the piss, but more significantly because I recognize that making connections in person is fundamentally important to my ability to develop in my role, and for me to develop others.

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Totally agree. People need to be in the right job - it sounds like she is not doing the job in the way it needs to be done. Most of us need to be flexible and push ourselves out of our comfort zones sometimes, and those of us who genuinely need accommodations do our very best to use them in the right way.

HarrietBond · 02/09/2025 15:24

factor50fan · 02/09/2025 13:46

I agree with this - but as a normal person who is neither strongly extrovert or introvert - its not just extroverts who get 'energy' from being around other people. As a social mammal species this is vital for all but a tiny minority of people. Social isolation has worse health outcomes than smoking and is correlated with dementia - and you need more than one strong social connection to reduce your risk of dementia due to isolation.

But as someone who does have a level of social anxiety (though most people would not realise it), going into the office helps me to manage this. By being around people and having positive interactions, my more paranoid or anxious thoughts about how others may perceive me are held at bay. By being able to deal with any unpleasant interactions in person, I stop the discomfort I feel from the unpleasant interaction ( as I have resolved it instead of it festering).

We are social mammals. Being able to hide away at home does not help people with social anxiety. Anxiety requires managing positively by facing up to the thing you are anxious about, rather than by opting out of normal life situations so as to never have to learn how to manage and live alongside your anxiety.

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This is so, so true. We're not always doing right by ourselves by leaning into what feels easiest.

MidnightMeltdown · 02/09/2025 15:37

If her contract says 100% remote working then I don’t think that you can expect her to come in for teams days and to meet people in person. You should have specified hybrid if that was what you wanted.

However it’s perfectly reasonable to tell her that she is expected to have the camera on for meetings.

hhtddbkoygv · 02/09/2025 16:13

Sellenis · 02/09/2025 06:32

I think it's relevant because most older people understand the conventions of the workplace, and if they're not doing things like putting their camera on, it's because they've got some issue themselves.

But young people are told at school and uni that anything they want is ok as the point is their learning, and so often they misunderstand the deal at work at first. They don't fully grasp that they are selling their labour to a business, and that the deal is they do what the business wants (within reason). In this generation this is expressed by lots of absenteeism and non participation, probably because that's what we set them up for with Covid. In previous generations it expressed differently.

So it's not really fair or helpful to read in a lot of individual meaning into her behaviour. I've had lots of young people behave in similar ways over the last few years. It's reasonably easy to get them up to speed. You need to tell them, kindly and firmly, what to do. Nobody has told them what to do! They're not broken, just unready.

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Do you have evidence of your claim or is it just more ageism?

MathiasBroucek · 02/09/2025 16:38

MidnightMeltdown · 02/09/2025 15:37

If her contract says 100% remote working then I don’t think that you can expect her to come in for teams days and to meet people in person. You should have specified hybrid if that was what you wanted.

However it’s perfectly reasonable to tell her that she is expected to have the camera on for meetings.

With respect, this is incorrect. As someone noted a few messages ago, it's perfectly normal for people to have to travel from time to time (e.g. for training or a meeting not at their normal place of work). Things like that don't need to be included in a contract.

BruFord · 02/09/2025 16:38

hhtddbkoygv · 02/09/2025 16:13

Do you have evidence of your claim or is it just more ageism?

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@hhtddbkoygv I assumed that the OP mentioned that the employee was Gen Z to emphasize their lack of experiences in other workplaces, I.e., this is literally their first job.
Nothing to do with ageism.

I’m Gen X and children are Gen Z, I have no problem with those terms tbh. 🤷

Although Gen X is often ignored so don’t listen to me. 🤣

toxicjobrec · 02/09/2025 16:43

MyLittleNest · 02/09/2025 12:24

Contract details aside, she is being insubordinate. You are her boss, not her mother. She can't just say no to requests you have made, let alone multiple ones without facing consequences. What if you repeatedly refused to do things your boss asked you do? There is your answer.

I honestly think you'd be doing her a huge favor in the long run by letting her go and citing why. She is clearly very, very immature and doesn't understand how the real world works.

Completely unacceptable behavior on her part, let alone deeply unprofessional. I would not tolerate this.

If she wants to sit in her room, cameras off, turn down requests to be a team player or show up to meetings (on camera or in person) then she needs to find a new job. And good luck with that!

Edited

I agree wholeheartedly with this. Presumably, this employee signed a contract that detailed 'other duties as assigned' or words to that effect. What the OP is asking for in terms of attendance at meetings - not to mention being made significantly more comfortable by the generous (imo) offer of bed and board being covered - is reasonable. The contract is a red herring.

I recently managed a group of relatively young people (30 and under) who demonstrated similar levels of entitlement. One objected to 12 pm meetings as they clashed with her hot yoga class. Another used to push back on any team bonding experiences that were arranged by SMT (think department coffee mornings etc,). I don't work there anymore.😂

There is a subset of people within certain cultures/orgs who don't realise that behaviour and conduct also make up the picrture of their job performance. You can deliver results, but refusing reasonable requests should contribute to the overall assessment of their suitability - especially in a probationary period. As I discovered, some cultures/orgs allow this type of entitlement to flourish. Regardless of whether their age/Covid etc has influenced their attitude to work, I come from a generation where we were deferential - possibly to a fault. But if we were asked to come in to work by our employer, we'd bl0ody well do it. I have also been in fully remote positions post-pandemic, where the expectation was to travel in for certain F2F meetings. If this is clear at the outset, I fail to see how this colleague can justify their refusal. If company policies are on your side, OP, I would clamp this behaviour and explain your rationale. If this isn't well received - or if there isn't a good reason for their refusal to engage - I would performance manage, as clearly the role might not be a good fit for them long term.

newchapternewday · 02/09/2025 16:47

My partner had a colleague who never came to the office and never put their camera on - turned out they had more than one job. Sacked from my partners firm.

GonnaeNoDaeThatJustGonnaeNo · 02/09/2025 16:53

Most of our staff work remotely but our remote working policy requires in-person attendance for staff meetings, team meetings and 121s. We also require cameras on.

we’ve implemented a final interview stage that is in-person as that flushes out any problems before appointment.

It’s worth reviewing your policies.

remote working is brilliant for our organisation but you have to be intentional about culture.

nongnangning · 02/09/2025 16:54

@newchapternewday Yes, now you have said that ... my DH had someone a bit like this at his work.

Daygloboo · 02/09/2025 17:37

BoredZelda · 02/09/2025 10:22

A jobseeker or employee has no obligation either legally or morally to share their medical history with a prospective employer.

There are any number of reasons a person has been looking for a job for a couple of years, especially a graduate. That doesn’t mean they have been rejected dozens of times. I’ve just taken someone on who graduated 3 years ago. She lives with her parents so doesn’t need to work to pay for a roof over her head. She has travelled extensively, funding that by taking on freelance tutoring work. She applied to a few places on graduation but didn’t want something too corporate. By that time most places taking graduates had filled their positions so she did something different for a while until she found the type of place she wanted to work. She heard we were hiring and as she had known me from some lectures I gave in her 3rd year at Uni, approached me for a graduate position.

I know from the learning profile she had at uni that she is autistic, we have access to this information as lecturers so we can make sure they have the right accommodations. My bosses have no idea, she never raised it with them. I haven’t spoken to her about it either because as her team leader it is none of my damned business. She isn’t brilliant at communicating in large group settings like meetings, so I don’t put her in that position. If it were necessary for her to do that right now, we’d work on getting her there. That she hasn’t felt it necessary to share her diagnosis with us doesn’t mean she is stubborn. It means she has spent her life understanding what it means to share it, and working out her own strategies to deal with it. Given how many people you see on here, and elsewhere deciding there is no such thing as autism and that people are using it to excuse their own shortcomings, I can quite understand why someone wouldn’t share it. My daughter is autistic and I would encourage her not to share it with potential employers either.

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Well I would class freelance tutoring as proper work.

MidnightMeltdown · 02/09/2025 18:19

MathiasBroucek · 02/09/2025 16:38

With respect, this is incorrect. As someone noted a few messages ago, it's perfectly normal for people to have to travel from time to time (e.g. for training or a meeting not at their normal place of work). Things like that don't need to be included in a contract.

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She’s not being asked to go in for training, she’s expected to go in simply to ‘meet people’. That’s unreasonable if someone is on a fully remote contract. Remote working contracts are legally binding. Often there is a flexibility clause, but we don’t know whether that is the case here. Even if there is a clause, there should be a good reason for her to be expected to go in.

Daygloboo · 02/09/2025 18:35

MidnightMeltdown · 02/09/2025 18:19

She’s not being asked to go in for training, she’s expected to go in simply to ‘meet people’. That’s unreasonable if someone is on a fully remote contract. Remote working contracts are legally binding. Often there is a flexibility clause, but we don’t know whether that is the case here. Even if there is a clause, there should be a good reason for her to be expected to go in.

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Technically maybe this person doesn t EVER have to come face to face with another person in the workforce but seriously.......it's about the spirit of it....its just off I think..part of life is about interaction . It's just disingenuous to pretend absolute lack of face to face communication in the workplace is s viable option.

party4you · 02/09/2025 18:39

Daygloboo · 02/09/2025 18:35

Technically maybe this person doesn t EVER have to come face to face with another person in the workforce but seriously.......it's about the spirit of it....its just off I think..part of life is about interaction . It's just disingenuous to pretend absolute lack of face to face communication in the workplace is s viable option.

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But come on, what is the point of her meeting a few people in person for a few hours if there’s no real other reason to be there. OP need to make it a workshop or an away day that adds value. Everyone knows this. Otherwise it’s just presenteeism and the workforce is changing. Unlike the older generations, gen z don’t feel a loyalty to any workforce so they’ll give the minimum they can for the wage they get. Boohoo.

DramaLlamacchiato · 02/09/2025 18:41

MidnightMeltdown · 02/09/2025 18:19

She’s not being asked to go in for training, she’s expected to go in simply to ‘meet people’. That’s unreasonable if someone is on a fully remote contract. Remote working contracts are legally binding. Often there is a flexibility clause, but we don’t know whether that is the case here. Even if there is a clause, there should be a good reason for her to be expected to go in.

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So what do you actually think the employee can do even if the remote working is “”legally binding”? Sue her? For what exactly?

(I’ll give you a clue - fuck all)

DramaLlamacchiato · 02/09/2025 18:44

SunonField · 02/09/2025 11:48

Cameras off is a reasonable adjustment.

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Only if an employee has a disability and it’s needed to remove the disadvantage caused by that so she can do their role.

These threads are always interesting as they bring out the people you can tell are workshy piss takers in their own place of employment

Daygloboo · 02/09/2025 19:22

party4you · 02/09/2025 18:39

But come on, what is the point of her meeting a few people in person for a few hours if there’s no real other reason to be there. OP need to make it a workshop or an away day that adds value. Everyone knows this. Otherwise it’s just presenteeism and the workforce is changing. Unlike the older generations, gen z don’t feel a loyalty to any workforce so they’ll give the minimum they can for the wage they get. Boohoo.

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What is the point? Um.....because meeting face to face and talking with another human being is ....um......normal ? Isnt this new generation supposed to be plagued by mental health issues.......um sitting behind a screen never talking face to face with anyone....hm....I wonder what caused that...duh!

Oscarsmom71 · 02/09/2025 19:42

I’d insist on cameras on.
Also set expectations for office attendance once every so often as team building.

Widower2014 · 02/09/2025 20:05

What does her contract say

CeeCeeEss · 02/09/2025 20:22

Maybe she's a polygamous worker and got another contract on the go...

Daygloboo · 02/09/2025 20:31

CeeCeeEss · 02/09/2025 20:22

Maybe she's a polygamous worker and got another contract on the go...

I said that a while back. It's a possibility , isnt it.

SerendipityJane · 02/09/2025 20:49

Oscarsmom71 · 02/09/2025 19:42

I’d insist on cameras on.
Also set expectations for office attendance once every so often as team building.

I'm wondering if the contract says anything at all about attending the office ?

Where is this employees registered place of work ? The office ? Or their address ?

If your place of work is the office, you aren't really a homeworker - whatever you may think. (If it's your home, then you claim expenses to go in which is a nice bonus if you're 140 miles from the office 😀)