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Original poster

Work life balance help needed

5 replies

AmberDuckBlue · 01/09/2025 21:17

I started a new job earlier this year, everyone was really nice. A lot of stuff landed on me early on. My to do list is now massive. I am stuck working extra hours and its not sustainable.

I don't mind doing the odd task out of hours but I just have no space for my brain to do any creative thinking and it's making me feel miserable, plus I'm not getting exercise, have put on weight.

There's a fair turnover and I'd be replaceable, but I don't particularly want to leave, I just want to work this out so I'm making some kind of progress and having worklife balance.

Has anyone managed to say I'm not working extra hours and stick to it? How did you get to this when you had a backlog without more backlog?

OP posts:
CarpetKnees · 02/09/2025 00:30

Yes.

You go to your line manager and say this isn't sustainable.
When people give you these extra tasks - if it is a peer, you tell them you don't have the capacity. If it is a manager, you ask them which they would like you to prioritise as you don't have the hours to do both. But it back on others all the time.

Be polite, be clear, clock off when you are supposed to.
Keep a record of where you have reported back that X or Y won't be completed.

FlatFlatEric · 02/09/2025 19:27

No. If that's the company ethos I find it makes no difference.

Friendlygingercat · 02/09/2025 20:30

At one time I was in the position where I was being lumbered with work for colleagues who had gone off sick/on holiday/looking after sick kids etc. I just shunted their work to the bottom of the pile and forgot about it. When anyone wanted any of those things I was supposed to have done I played dumb and said "well I havnt got around to it yet. Was it urgent?" Ive always been a past mistress of being impossible to get hold of outsde work (this was long before smart phones) so things simply did not get done. Or whoever wanted them did it themselves. When asked I said which work do you want me to prioritize (meaning but not saying that anythig else will get shifted to the bttom of the piie). When the colleague returned it was just dumped back on their desk again. I never outright refused to do anything. However the fact that it was not done was a "management" problem and they needed to ask for more resources.

Its not skiving - its sticking to your job description and doing what you were paid to do within your standard hours. Nowadays they call it quiet quitting.

Esthery · 02/09/2025 20:39

I have to let things fail, these days. It's actually quite rare that anyone does point out a missed deadline and (as I am not by any means a slacker, and in the top 4 people in my department of nearly 300) if they do, I can point to the many more urgent things I did get done.

You need to learn to say no, to keep quiet in meetings to avoid collecting actions, to suggest someone else or a later date if someone tries to give you an action, and to consider managing your workload a key part of your job. I could use being better at delegating tasks on, as well!

The only thing that really fixes it for me is that I have to get to nursery pick up, though. As my daughter is then with me all evening, I literally can't work extra hours. Once it's not an option, it's the work that has to drop.

Original poster
AmberDuckBlue · 04/09/2025 23:49

Esthery · 02/09/2025 20:39

I have to let things fail, these days. It's actually quite rare that anyone does point out a missed deadline and (as I am not by any means a slacker, and in the top 4 people in my department of nearly 300) if they do, I can point to the many more urgent things I did get done.

You need to learn to say no, to keep quiet in meetings to avoid collecting actions, to suggest someone else or a later date if someone tries to give you an action, and to consider managing your workload a key part of your job. I could use being better at delegating tasks on, as well!

The only thing that really fixes it for me is that I have to get to nursery pick up, though. As my daughter is then with me all evening, I literally can't work extra hours. Once it's not an option, it's the work that has to drop.

Thanks for this.

No is really hard. My manager has this habit of saying one thing (let's say a deadline) so I work on that basis and then as I start to update her and she sees I'm making progress she'll start to move things to an earlier deadline. It's like negotiation by stealth.

I wonder whether what's going on is that the person up above wanted the earlier deadline. I'm finding it hard to trust anything she says...it's all kind of reputation management.

One of her 'hot things' is also about us contributing and being vocal in meetings (which as you say collects actions!).

I've never mastered the art of delegating- it's not what I think it is (training someone else to do it) but more just handing it over with some guidance.

A later date I can do - but just need to make sure its noted or I forget as I'm not interested in the task.

I do leave 'managing my own workload' to the bottom of the pile, because I'm a natural helper.

Like today someone emailed a query about something and said I think it's X.

In about 20 seconds I can see that's it's Y and Z, and the next steps should all be A, B and C. But to write this all out will take about 25 mins....

I think it's something about assessing the importance of things if I can figure out how to do this - you'd be amazed that I've got to the grand age of mid 40s without cracking that...everything right in front of me is what's got immediate importance.

I think you are right that I need to just have a cut off point as otherwise will go slowly insane.

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