Job offer - what on earth do I do?

[monkeynutter]

I’m currently a senior manager at a large multi national company covering two offices which are both about 2 hours from home. On the days I don’t travel I work from home (2 or three days a week) Safe to say I’ve been disliking my job for a while. The travel and toxic behaviors of one of the teams have sucked any joy that I did have for the job away. To top it off my manager generally wants to be involved in everything but hints he is expecting me to step up to his role when he retires in maybe five years.
I’ve been at the company for over ten years and know the industry inside and out but it’s also quite technical where I usually have to get involved directly with complex demanding clients. Potential for progression is high although would burn bridges if I went for anything outside of my division. Although the rest of the company is more an old boys club and you progress if your face fits. My face is currently fitting but not sure if I’d want to sell my soul to keep making it fit just to progress.

A few months ago I applied for a job at a local company which is part of a bigger group (nowhere near the size of my current company). I never thought I’d be offered the role but somehow I seem to have impressed them and they’ve offered. The role is a step up I’d have greater responsibility but aware there is also an element of taking on another team with its own set of problems. It’s local, I can manage my time but would need and want to be in the office most days meaning I’d rarely be working from home. It’s also far less technical and there would be less client interaction. There is not much opportunity for progression but they are offering a huge increase in salary.
Perks such as private medical, pension, holiday etc pretty similar.

I am so torn as what to do! I need to make a decision this week. My gut was telling me to take the new role but now it’s come to it I’m not sure if that is the right choice. I’m dreading having to have a conversation with my manager and feeling hugely guilty about leaving my teams but I feel exhausted. The thought of going back to it tomorrow is filling me with dread.
What if it’s exactly the same at the new company? What if I fail?

Any words of wisdom wise mumsnetters? I need to sleep well!

I think you should totally discount any guilt for leaving your boss and/or team, they would fire you and/or leave if they wanted to.
So ignoring that what is best for you?

@Hoppinggreenthat is very true! Probably at this point in my life it would be easier for family life to be closer to home with a bigger salary. It’s the long term that’s I’m questioning. In ten years when kids have left school will it be enough? If I leave my current company it would be tough to get back to that level of large scale corporate

New job. At least you'll have more money and less travel, hopefully at worst just different issues (change is a good as a rest right?!)

Would it be hard? You have the brand name big corporate on your CV and together with the seniority at the new job you’ll have a good blend???

Thanks @Mt563and @mathsquestions. Both very good points. Possibly having imposter syndrome and thinking the worst if it doesn’t work out

Listen to your gut, it's telling you what to do. You're exhausted, dreading tomorrow, there's toxicity... Get out of there, go for the new start, new challenge. Don't worry about ten years' time; that'll work itself out. Best of luck!

Go for it and good luck.

new job. Sounds much better for now and who knows what will happen in 10 years. Like someone said - you’d have it all on your CV. You don’t want to be dreading going to work for 10 years either. The whole face fitting sounds very unreliable too. What if someone else comes along with a face they prefer and push you out? The old men’s club reference would suggest that men may be preferred too? Too risky.

go with your gut and enjoy it.

Put yourself first and your family first; noone is indispensable; you can be replaced in the blink of an eye.

Current job is all based on ifs and buts. Waiting to step into dead man’s shoes is never a good option. By the time your boss retires the higher-ups might have a different plan for his role.

Take the new job and find your zest again!

The new job sounds perfect - as far as the future, the assumption in staying with your current company is that internal hires are preferred, which may or may not be the case in another 10 years.

New job.

It doesn't mean you can't apply for another job in the future, so it doesn't need to be forever.

Thank you so much to all who have replied. I am pretty certain my gut is saying new job but need to give my head a good talking to. Knew I could rely on mums net to talk some sense

It sounds like the fear of change speaking to you, however everything you have written about the new job indicates it would be a good move.

If nothing else, it sounds like you will save at least 3.5-4 hours a day commuting, as well as increasing your salary, which are great outcomes of changing jobs.

Good luck!

OMG take it!! Local, and away from a job you don’t like? It’s a no brained surely. Your current employer won’t have any loyalty to you if they needed to cut back.

As you get older, you'll really appreciate the lack of commute. I've worked from home since 2020, and at 55, I thank my lucky stars that I don't have to travel to the office every day, as it could take up to 4 hours out of my day. Twice a month is more than enough now.

Take out the guilt - it’s certainly nothing to do with you if other people made your current job unbearable. It’s all imposter syndrome here (I know it well!) as you sound like you can’t believe your luck.

if you were my friend I’d tell you to go for it - you hate your current job and maybe this one will be fabulous. Maybe not but at least you’ll have tried. Worrying about 10 years from now doesn’t make sense either as there are a million possibilities in life and probably something else altogether will be in your future.

(I wouldn’t place any stock in someone maaaybe retiring and maaaaybe wanting you to step up. The company could go in a lot of different directions and 5 years might as well be 100.)

Toss a coin. If you decide you want to go "best out of 3" when you see what it lands on, you have your answer.

Definitely go with your gut! One question - does the lack of WFH cause any issues?

Easy one my friend, go for it!

It’s fear of the new/unknown, but the benefits far outweigh that. Take the new job in a heartbeat.

Definitely new job, the improvement of commute alone will make a huge difference.
dont feel misplaced loyalty to the current job. I’ve been there and was left reeling when they made me redundant. Remember, this is not family, you are a commodity to the company.

If you’re at the stage where you’re dreading work, then it’s time to leave. Life is too short.

Take the new job! New people, new challenges and more money.
I am assuming your current company will advertise your boss's job when he retires? Could you not apply, if and, when this happens? You already have the skills to do it and an additional 5 years experience of a different company and role might be seen as an advantage when the time comes.