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Extract myself from difficult manager at work

3 replies

CopeNorth · 23/08/2025 15:24

I work in a senior position in compliance and have purposely chosen not to run a team as an enjoy the substantive work more than people management.

Unfortunately this meant that about 2 years ago I got a terrible new manager as I did not want to manage. A role then came up at my company doing the same thing just in a different part of the business working for someone I really like and respect, that manager was very keen to have me and I’m set to move.

Problem is my outgoing manager is clearly disappointed and making things difficult, by trying to set the terms of when and how I move, in particular saying I must keep some of my current accounts and take them with me.

I’ve tried to stay out of the politics of it and say - that’s a conversation for you to have with ‘new manager’. But should I just say “no” firmly.

Outgoing matter has said I should be flattered and that the reason I have to stay on the accounts is because I’m so valued. But I just want out from under them completely and a fresh start. They are a rude and abrasive, plus (even though they are more senior in years and position) they appear to simply not be up to the role and rely on me for anything technical or difficult generally, and on their accounts. This is exhausting and infuriating. I’m happy to do this for peers or junior colleagues but feel they should know how to do their job and not just take credit for my work - it also diverts me from my own work which I am under considerable pressure to do. Other colleagues will also just bypass them and treat me as the manager as they are very difficult to deal with. I feel like I’m doing two jobs.

I would be really grateful for any advice on how to get away! I’ve lost so much confidence in the last two years working for them.

OP posts:
HelplessSoul · 23/08/2025 16:59

Stay quiet and get your move first. Agree to nothing.

When you move to your new role and your old cunty manager wants you to do some work - you simply tell them that thats no longer your job and you cant help.

Make your new manager aware that you only report to them and that you want no part of any work with the old one, which is precisely why you moved.

PermanentTemporary · 23/08/2025 17:03

I think your gut instinct to avoid a blunt no is probably a good one. Brief new manager and say that you want to be able to commit fully to the new role and not have blurred edges following the move, and you’d be grateful if they’d back you up with the old one. Then tell your old manager that you don’t think it will work, but that they could talk to the new manager if they really want to.

rwalker · 23/08/2025 17:08

As you rightly said it between your old and new manger
speak to your new manager telling them your being expected to bring some accounts with u

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