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Realising you dont like your team after returning from maternity leave??

2 replies

Chuchi94 · 21/08/2025 22:36

Hey all I hope this will make sense and I wonder if anyone has felt the same way..

I've just returned back to work from having 9 months maternity leave for my second beautiful baby (elder son is 5), and of course felt very nervous and anxious beforehand as there has been so many changes (new systems, new manager, more team members etc) . However along that, sitting in the office and hearing all my team mates chat (all women, in their early - mid twenties and I'm 31) i really just zone out and cannot connect in anyway. The level of bitchiness that maybe had always been there has been such a shocker, and basically I just no longer feel any sort of want to be a part of the 'morning gossip' which lasts all day, plus every little thing even as going toilet or making a coffee or going for lunch or a snack break is a group effort..

I just wonder if anyone else has felt like they have completely detached themselves from others once they have returned, and found they don't know who they are / were after coming back?? For me, I just think it's very child like the behaviour after being gone for so long, and I don't know what my identity is. Im always labelled as the silly funny one and after returning, ive gone quiet and dont want to join in on anything as it doesn't entertain me at all - they just aren't my cup of team tea anymore!

hope this makes sense, massive one ha!

OP posts:
Dryshampoofordays · 21/08/2025 22:39

Yep. I knew we were trying for another baby soonish so I stuck it out. Now due back after my second mat leave and dreading it. You’ve outgrown them, motherhood changes you as a person and they sound very immature and irritating!

VikingLady · 21/08/2025 22:47

Yep, normal. You’ve had a lens shift due to a life change/experienced something more important. I had much the same intolerance of unimportant bullshit after I had my kids as I did when my dad died suddenly, weirdly.

FWIW, as an employer I liked staff with this attitude. They did their work efficiently and didn’t foment discord.

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