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Advice would be appreciated please

1 reply

Luce2025 · 10/08/2025 21:49

My mum has terminal cancer and has undergone radiotherapy/chemo/immunotherapy. She has been in hospital for 3 weeks with an infection and has suffered some complications. Unfortunately treatment has been stopped and there is nothing else they can offer.

I work full time as a nurse 3 long shifts a week. I've had to leave work early on at least 2 occasions last week/week before due to getting updates from family about my mums health becoming worse.

Work have advised me to take some time off as we genuinely thought the worse was going go happen over the weekend and they can see I'm going through a lot (they've been really understanding)

My mum has slightly perked up and they are planning to get her home for palliative care. Before this she was really unwell and they didn't think she would get home.

I'm stuck as do I stay off work now without knowing when i'll be back as I have no clue what will happen. They have said less than 3 months typical life expectancy without treatment. I obviously want to be able to visit her whenever I can without the worry of being in work, especially as I work in a stressful job also.

Or am I just worrying over nothing and I should definitely stay off and not even worry about work?? I think I'm panicking as well as I have a holiday booked for the end of this month which has been planned for ages. After a lot of debating and conversations with family/my mum I have decided to go. But then I feel really bad being off work but going on holiday even though my workplace know this information and understand. They said being off for stress is different and you can still go on holidays etc. Am I just overthinking !!

OP posts:
LadyLolaRuben · 11/08/2025 02:30

Nhs director here, you're overthinking it.

Sadly this situation happens a lot. Your employer is giving good advice. Take it. With everything you've got going on, you could end up being distracted in work and making a fatal error. Its not worth the risk. Also, you'll never get this time again with your mum, use it.

So long as your employer knows about the holiday, thats fine too. Just agree with them how it'll be processed, as part of sick leave or deducted from annual leave which they sometimes do. Keep open and honest communication with employer and you'll be fine. Very best of luck x

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