Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Work

Chat with other users about all things related to working life on our Work forum.

In a bad situation

3 replies

lostperson1774 · 01/08/2025 18:15

Hello, I have just started a new job in the UK and I am in quite a bad and also peculiar situation. I have an adopted son, who is 10 and he is my partner´s son, he died years ago. To me, he is my own son. I am Portuguese, also my partner was, but before meeting him I lived 10 years in UK and I have a British passport.

I lived in Spain for a few years after moving out of the UK and I was suddenly made redundant on 1rst of July, unexpectedly. Ever since that happened my life has been a living hell as a single parent. I started panicking because there were no jobs in Spain and I started looking in the UK and found one. This job is way below my 13 years of experience (it is the role I was working 10 years ago) which also makes depressed after a decade in the business.

I came to the UK with my son and we have been here 3 weeks and things are getting worse. He doesn´t speak English, only Spanish and Portuguese and he is already 10 and he started initially by asking me when he would see his friends again. Now he is refusing to eat until I take him back to Madrid. I had to take him to the hospital last night because he refused to drink and was dehydrated. Honestly my instinct is to get on a plane and go back because I can´t see him like this. I cannot sleep, I am constantly worried I am driving myself insane. However, I would be jobless in Madrid and would be hard to secure a job. I am responsible for buy son´s mental but also financial well being and we don´t have anybody. My parents died 16 years ago and my partner was forested.

The people at the company I now work for know me because I worked with them years ago. Shall I speak to them? Do you think they would be willing to help or do you think I will just need to resign? I don´t know what to do and how they would take it, which also terrifies me.

OP posts:
LittleHangleton · 01/08/2025 20:37

In your situation, I would return to Spain.

I think that suggesting there is no work in Madrid is catastrophising. There will be, maybe not work that is ideal for you but there will be something.

You already had a small support network in Spain, following the death of your son's father and that your parents died a while ago. To then move counties, to where you have no support network, would be hard for anyone, even without a child to consider.

If we consider your son, the move you made is so massive for him that I'm not surprised he's struggling to cope. It also sounds like he wasn't adequately prepared for the substantial move, because he's asking about seeing friends. I moved with my children, only 20 miles away but even for that we had a year-long preparation getting the children used to the idea and what to expect. I can't imagine how they'd cope moving to a different country, especially without enough preparation.

Children are resilient, your son will cope. But I don't think it's understating what is happening hereby saying he will be traumatised by this. If you can, I'd move back.

Amoonimus · 01/08/2025 20:47

Would your company allow you to work from abroad? Is it a job where you could work from home?

lostperson1774 · 02/08/2025 14:38

Amoonimus · 01/08/2025 20:47

Would your company allow you to work from abroad? Is it a job where you could work from home?

No you would need a whole need contract in Spain

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page