In BIG trouble

[Catfoodpouch]

NC for this. I'm in big trouble at work. For context, I am a HCP with a very responsible job. I have been experiencing some stress in my personal life which has led to me not sleeping, this has been going on for weeks. Becuase of this I have been making more mistakes at work (no harm has come to anyone yet). Things have come to a bit of a head where I have had approx 8 hours sleep in 5 days and yesterday I kept making stupid mistakes. My immediate line manager spoke with me about another mistake I had made when I just said I've had enough, that I was stressed and walked out. I have taken sick leave for a couple of days and am due back next week. My question is how do I handle the fallout? All I need is some bloody sleep in order to function properly and insomnia is no excuse not to go to work. I am going to be in deep shit when I go back.

It sounds like you need to get yourself signed off so you can sort whatever it is that's stopping you from sleeping.

Insomnia is absolutely an excuse to not go to work, if your a HCP and could be putting others at risk.

Have you spoken to your union rep? They can usually help in this situation. You need to stay off and sort yourself out, or you might make a mistake that nobody can extricate you from.

If you are so sleep deprived that you're making mistakes at work, then it's not safe for you to be in work. Not safe for patients. It seems entirely sensible to take time off; I'd advise seeing your GP to discuss. Maybe ask your manager for an Occupational Health referral when you go back.

I'm a manager and had one of my reports go through a sleep disorder phase. We discussed it, they told me the plan from their doctor and I made accommodations at work for them (for a set few weeks). We then discussed again to see if the situation had resolved. If they hadn't told me then I couldn't have helped, and might have been looking at their work performance instead.

I would firstly focus on getting the medical care you need so that you can recover. It might be that you need more time off.

When you return you can explain that you were unwell, that the mistakes for which you’re very sorry, were due to the illness. You’ve sought medical treatment and are now recovered. You don’t expect such mistakes again. You could also discuss ways in which you could avoid this happening in the future.

Hope you feel better soon OP

It kind of depends what the mistake is. If you’re sleep deprived, you might not be thinking straight and you could be worrying more than you need to.

Get signed off sick for another week or so and allow your body to rest.
Your brain is not acting rationally and the stress is just compounding things.
Your GP is going to suggest melatonin. Take it. It works wonders. If they dont buy some privately from piping rock (American site, very reputable). They work wonders.

Then when you've had 5 days (minimum) of good, restful sleep and you're feeling more like yourself, I'd apologise in writing to your line manager explaining that you have been unwell, suffering sleep deprivation and made those mistakes as a result. Apologise for being brash but explain that was that the extreme tiredness you were experiencing.
Explain that you would like to return to work, and ask if you can work more sleep friendly patterns for a while to help your body.

Honestly though OP, you won't be the first and you won't be the last.

Go to your GP and get signed off. I have literally just done this. I have been limping on for months. I need a proper rest and to recover.

My immediate line manager spoke with me about another mistake I had made when I just said I've had enough, that I was stressed and walked out.

Had you spoken to your line manager about your problem(s) before this happened? Why do you think you will be in "big trouble"? Because apart from the advice to see your GP and also to ensure that you are back to functioning before you go back, these things are important; and are obviously also adding to the stress.

Under the circumstances, if you hadn't told the manager previously, I think I might be inclined to suggest that you phone them, apologise for walking out and explain. Hopefully they will be fine about that and then you can both move on with tackling how to best move forward (I assume the personal stuff isn't going to go away any time soon?).

I don’t understand why you think severe insomnia isn’t an excuse a reason for having to take sick leave. Especially when you work in a job where your mistakes could have serious consequences. No one should be working on that little sleep.