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Going out of my mind

2 replies

TheRedRaven · 28/07/2025 16:03

TW: Pregnancy loss and mental health.

Hi all, I am currently going out of my mind with anxiety. I am due to start a new job and they have not yet given me a start date despite asking multiple times, though they are in contact with me regarding references and a DBS check. My notice period with my current employer is due to end this week and I’m really concerned that I am going to be out of a job. My current dilemma is that my sickness record as of late has not been great due to mental health and experiencing an early pregnancy loss recently. I don’t wish to end my current employment on a bad note and plan to go in to work tomorrow and for the reminder of the week so I can say goodbye to my colleagues and service users. However, as I currently don’t have a start date I also wish to ask my current employer if I can extend my notice period until I know what’s going on, but I fear they may decline this due to my recent absence. I am also due to move house soon and I can’t afford to have a gap in any pay. I have emailed my current manager asking for a catch up but have not received any reply yet and it’s really making me upset, stressed and pretty isolated, as though they’ve washed their hands of me now that I’m leaving. I’m also feeling anxious over what my references will tell my new employer regarding my sickness record. I have no worries about my performance as I’m a hard worker and this has been acknowledged plenty, but I don’t have the best sickness record.

OP posts:
stichguru · 28/07/2025 16:42

I would imagine that your new job is something that your new employer can't allow you to do without the references and DBS check. Therefore, it would be very normal practice that they couldn't give you a start date until these are through as you can't do the job until they are. If you decided to give notice before you had your new start date set, that's up to you.

AnSolas · 28/07/2025 17:04

Do you have any savings?
If you gave notice the payroll section would have been instructed to finish you on the system and issue a P45 etc
It is also likely your current job has hired someone to repace you in the role.

I would call your manager and speak directly rather than relying on an email if you want to stay on

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