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Original poster

Workplace bully

21 replies

Ethelflaedofmercia · 19/07/2025 08:58

Hi everyone, and sorry if this is all muddled I’m just incredibly stressed.

My workplace has a bully, this person is one of the nastiest people I have ever come across and she’s half my age.

She picks on younger members of staff, ignores them and calls them names behind their backs. Comments nasty things behind their backs about the way they look.

Constantly walks over to other shifts and tells them that she doesn’t like them, and they’re shit at their job.

She makes everyone feel uncomfortable, stressed, and some of us are considering leaving. It has been reported to the manager time after time.

She has hidden vital tools I need to complete my work but I cannot prove it was her, although we all know it was.

She has even called staff names in our group chat which I have screenshot. She told members of staff that she “ didn’t want to fucking work with me” which I reported and nothing was done. She has one work “husband” who does anything she says, including also ignoring other members of staff, and being nasty.

we are a team of 15 people, and it’s affecting 13 of us. Does anyone know where I could go from here? I’ve not come across this before so I have no clue. Thank you

OP posts:
HipHipWhoRay · 19/07/2025 08:59

Am so sorry to hear this. If your manager is ineffective, can you go to HR, or even your managers manager?

Keroppi · 19/07/2025 09:08

What type of organisation is it? Big or small? HR or big bosses?
Do you use teams etc? Could you subject access request her Teams/computer chat messages and report and threaten a claim for harassment? Lol nuclear option
Talk to your union? Could any of her comments be seen as racist or discrimination since they're looks based? Just thinking of ways to embolden your complaint

If she has the place in her pocket it's time to mess with her - every time she comments something awful that's witnessed by other people write it down and email it to yourself/HR. Laugh a bit in her face when she says mean stuff so she loses her grip. "That's funny BitchCoworker, sometimes you're so negative!" "BitchCoworker did you hear what I said? No? Perhaps you need to go to your GP tehehehe"
Make efforts to hang out with your other workmates she doesn't like so you're more grouped together. Does she have bosses on side?

When she ignores you and it interrupts your work, email her and CC in HR/bosses and politely ask for clarification/information so it's a trail of you seeking info.

Original poster
Ethelflaedofmercia · 19/07/2025 09:09

I think I will have to do that, but I can see it getting much much worse. This person has been here for a year, and she seems to hold a lot of power over our manager which to all of us is crazy, he lets her get away with murder.

She was overheard shouting at our manager about a member of staff, while the member of staff was in earshot. It’s such a toxic place while she is here

OP posts:
Original poster
Ethelflaedofmercia · 19/07/2025 09:11

@Keroppiits a large organisation but its hospitality/retail. Funnily enough one of our newest staff members is the head of HRs son so hopefully he reports back

OP posts:
Keroppi · 19/07/2025 09:13

https://www.askamanager.org/2025/04/how-to-deal-with-a-rude-coworker.html

She may get worse it's true, but I think if you make efforts to make inroads with your other coworkers then you will feel a bit more able to shake her off and smirk at her. It's a problem if she has management in her pocket though, usually HR or managers manager is the best port of call

Original poster
Ethelflaedofmercia · 19/07/2025 09:13

I have a phone number only used for work, and a withheld number rang me about 20 times at 1am in the morning prank calling me. It doesn’t take a genius to work out who it was, same has happened to other members of staff

OP posts:
Brendahollowayreconsider · 19/07/2025 09:19

The phone calling is harassment id consider reporting to the police and hopefully they look at her phone and she hasn't deleted call log.
Is she perhaps sleeping with the manager or her Colleague she gets on with?

Pancakeflipper · 19/07/2025 09:29

If there are 13 of you impacted by them can't you get together and compile a factual list of incidents and then all ask to speak to management.

StoorieHoose · 19/07/2025 09:39

Have any of you called her out when she starts bitching behind people’s backs? Not in an aggressive way but calm and factually? Are you all just standing there listening to her bitch and moan and be horrible to others ?

Original poster
Ethelflaedofmercia · 19/07/2025 09:51

Yes she has been called out, but now when remarks are made we just ignore her. It’s just an awful place to work when she is on shift, so uncomfortable

OP posts:
pearcrumblee · 19/07/2025 10:10

Sounds horrendous. I had one of them in my workplace, complete psychopath and she had her buddy who was always with her. I could not fathom why this buddy stuck with her and did whatever she asked of her. Even after she left the buddy was still in support of her.
You all must go to HR one by one and put in a complaint about this. Go with facts, dates and incidents.

Nemesis54 · 19/07/2025 10:31

Write every incident down with the dates and times. Give to HR. Why is the manager being such a wet blanket . I would love her to try to walk all over me !!

Original poster
Ethelflaedofmercia · 19/07/2025 14:41

I’ve gone over my line managers head and emailed his boss. He called me straight away and we have had a nice chat. HR are now involved

OP posts:
StoorieHoose · 19/07/2025 18:09

Glad to hear you might get somewhere Ethel

AAT78 · 21/07/2025 17:25

There may be workplace representatives available for hire if you are not a member of a union, as unions typically do not take on cases that have already commenced.

AAT78 · 21/07/2025 17:26

There may be workplace representatives available for hire if you are not a member of a union, as unions typically do not take on cases that have already commenced.@Ethelflaedofmercia

Middlechild3 · 21/07/2025 17:33

Ethelflaedofmercia · 19/07/2025 08:58

Hi everyone, and sorry if this is all muddled I’m just incredibly stressed.

My workplace has a bully, this person is one of the nastiest people I have ever come across and she’s half my age.

She picks on younger members of staff, ignores them and calls them names behind their backs. Comments nasty things behind their backs about the way they look.

Constantly walks over to other shifts and tells them that she doesn’t like them, and they’re shit at their job.

She makes everyone feel uncomfortable, stressed, and some of us are considering leaving. It has been reported to the manager time after time.

She has hidden vital tools I need to complete my work but I cannot prove it was her, although we all know it was.

She has even called staff names in our group chat which I have screenshot. She told members of staff that she “ didn’t want to fucking work with me” which I reported and nothing was done. She has one work “husband” who does anything she says, including also ignoring other members of staff, and being nasty.

we are a team of 15 people, and it’s affecting 13 of us. Does anyone know where I could go from here? I’ve not come across this before so I have no clue. Thank you

A collective complaint from the entire team.

Original poster
Ethelflaedofmercia · 25/08/2025 22:47

Update. She’s left the company, but now we are having a lot of negative google reviews (we know it’s her) but success!

OP posts:
Kleya25 · 25/08/2025 23:05

Sorry to hear you've all gone through this but at least your HR and managers have a bit of a backbone.

Where I work pretty much the entire team put in complaints about an under qualified, incompetent, micromanaging, arrogant hag of a manager who should never have been hired in the first place. She is a brilliant gaslighter and flatterer of senior managers though who all think she's amazing, and we've all ended up being blamed with nothing being done to sort her out despite boxes and boxes of evidence.

Some of us have even asked if we can be redeployed, she's so awful.

This has been going on for over a year and it has destroyed my faith in the public sector completely and made me ill.

The first of our really good colleagues is just about to leave and won't be the last, at this rate the only person left is going to be Lady Gaslighter yet the senior managers still can't or won't see what a liability she is.

So it's refreshing to hear of someone awful who has been removed or removed themselves.

pearcrumblee · 25/08/2025 23:19

Ethelflaedofmercia · 25/08/2025 22:47

Update. She’s left the company, but now we are having a lot of negative google reviews (we know it’s her) but success!

This is good news. Well done for hanging in there. Nasty people like that will find their next victims sadly but at least you don’t have to have that daily toxicity.

GabriellaMontez · 26/08/2025 09:46

Must be such a relief!

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