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Work Issue After Having a baby - Advice needed.

9 replies

Psychicjen · 17/07/2025 10:42

I had my first baby 18 months ago and before she came along I was doing psychic readings. I've done well for myself to where I am with it however income is unpredictable and after we had a baby I wanted something more stable financially.
My other half is in full time self employment but again it's unpredictable and weather depending.
I have a huge passion for charity shops and after having a baby I found it a bit overwhelming in terms of never having any time to myself so I decided to volunteer in my local charity shop every Sunday for a few hours.
About 4 months later an assistant manager job came up and I was put forward and was successful.
Upon my arrival things were going okay but the manager never did any work and would leave by 2pm even though he was scheduled to 5.30pm.
The workplace became toxic and I just carried on and tried to turn a blind eye to it.
His wife worked there with him and all his friends were the volunteers and the volunteers basically ran the show, they were adamant I couldn't touch anything, they wouldn't even let me get involved in window displays etc, they would tell me what to price items at etc.
Anyway fast toward a few months another worker who was constantly bullied by management and staff let it slip to the area manager that the manager wasn't doing what he was supposed to and an investigation was put into place and with all the things that came to light he was dismissed and so were the volunteers/wife etc

It ended up leaving myself acting as manager and the other paid worker. We had no volunteers and we couldn't even work together to help eachother as we were splitting a 7 day shift between us.
No help was given by the company and we were told because of the nature of the situation to not accept any volunteers.
This went on for about 4 months, baring in mind I forgot to mention the manager never trained me as he went sick 2 days after I started and left me to find for myself. So for 4 months I had to self teach myself how to be a manager, for those that have been its alot to take in and trying to run a busy shop at the same time single handedly.

I've been loyal, never took a day off and saved their bacon In terms of keeping the shop open.
I've been conversing with the area manager all the way through and she has been supportive whilst I had to attended HR meetings and a greiveance whilst they gathered evidence.

About 2 weeks ago the area manager phoned me to let me know that she was putting an ad up for a managers position but she doesn't think I should apply as she doesn't think I'm ready for management role yet. It didn't bother me so much about the job but it was the fact I never said I was going to apply and it made me feel really insulted considering they have had me being a manager on my own for 4 months and didn't think of bringing someone else in if they thought I wasn't competent enough.
She said it was down to lack of training however she sent me to another store for a day for hands on training which I've completed and know what I need to know.

She put the ad out and has given it to a 25 year old girl who has never worked in charity before or stepped foot inside our shop before she has only been a manager once in a dessert place but after that didn't stay in management.
I know all of this because she was quite happy to call me up and tell me thej finish off by saying I'm going to love her.
I'm probably being over sensitive in this situation but how would anyone else feel?
I feel like I can't mention this to anyone so wanted to get some outsiders opinions. This new girl will have to get trained in everything I already know, I cant help but feel low in confidence right now.
I'm worried I'm going to have to keep helping this new manager, and at the same time if I do keep helping her I will never get the opportunity to show what I can do. When I was acting manager it was just me no help.
When she starts she has the help I needed so obviously will look more capable.

How would you handle this situation
Thankyou in advance

OP posts:
Shnuzzbucket · 17/07/2025 10:44

I'd leave, it wont get any better

HermioneWeasley · 17/07/2025 10:46

Leave. There are plenty of retail jobs.

FurForksSake · 17/07/2025 10:47

It’s hard when you’ve been stepping up, but she interviewed, had experience and successfully got the job.

work together and make a go of it or look for something else. It’s totally unfair to dismiss her due to her age and not having very specific experience.

im surprised your lack of whistleblowing on the former management didn’t result in you being let go, so I can understand why they feel you are not ready to manage.

Psychicjen · 17/07/2025 10:48

I just wanted to add I'm 38 years old for reference. I've love the job role and assistant
Manager is good for my CV that's why I haven't left yet.

OP posts:
Psychicjen · 17/07/2025 10:52

I did give evidence against the manager that's why I attended the meetings. I'm the one who had the evidence against him. I wasn't discriminating her age I was just saying when your nearly 40 it makes you feel useless, especially when in the job itself I've had the training and the most experience. I'm happy staying as I am and going back to partime work in between but I'm wondering how to handle things if management is on my agenda when my little girl is older.

OP posts:
Optimustime · 17/07/2025 10:54

Can you not ask the spirits?

FurForksSake · 17/07/2025 10:56

Get a management qualification and some experience. Apply for management jobs. Being a really good, professional assistant manager and stepping up when needed is all you need to do.

OurBeautifulBaby · 17/07/2025 11:10

I wouldn’t go back and leave them in the shit.

OneNewLeader · 17/07/2025 11:14

As a psychic don’t you know how this ends up? Perhaps do a reading first yourself.

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